


Let Us Adore You

by danbaihe



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Boy Seo Changbin, Bang Chan & Han Jisung | Han & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Bang Chan is Whipped, Comfort/Angst, Depression, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Felix, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Modern Royalty, Overworking, Photographer Kim Seungmin, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prince!Felix, Prince!Hyunjin, Prince!Jisung, Protective Minho, References to Depression, Royalty, Seo Changbin is Whipped, Shy Hwang Hyunjin, Story within a Story, Storytelling, Tutor!Seungmin, changbin is trying his best, felix is compared to his mom a lot, felix is overworked, hyunjin is also russian, jeongin is an important guys son, jisung just wants the best for his twin, noble!minho, prince!Chan, prince!changbin, rich!jeongin, seungmin is russian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26638756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danbaihe/pseuds/danbaihe
Summary: Felix thought about it. He tried to imagine his mother in a place like this, but he just couldn’t.“She really would hate it here.” Felix said, laughing. “We used to drive around during the nighttime and enjoy the city lights. She went to the beach with her friends every weekend before she got ill.” Felix said, and Jisung couldn’t help but smile trying to imagine it.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix, Seo Changbin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 36
Kudos: 147





	1. i don't wanna be alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Lololol froggie if ur reading this I'm sorry it came out so late I got side tracked
> 
> Idk where I'm going w this except for possible side plot w Felix and Changbin and also Felix meeting Seungmin and being gay lol so pls be patient y'all I'm trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ve been here for hours now. We’re supposed to take you in to foster care.”
> 
> “I don’t want to go.” He said.
> 
> “It’s law, Felix.”
> 
> “I don’t want to go.”
> 
> A sigh.

The first time Felix met any of his ‘brothers’, was at his mother’s funeral.

She was weak. Ill in Australia, and Felix expected to lose her slowly. Not as suddenly as he did. Instead of dying because of an illness that had completely taken over her lungs, which Felix had prepared for (he had talked to his mom about it and she worked hard to comfort him all she could), she instead died in a horrible beach accident. She had gone with her friends to the beach, just to relax, she wasn’t a swimmer. According to Mrs. Kim, the nice woman next door, they were just playing in the water and offered to help his mother in. She agreed and held onto someone the entire time. They got a little too deep, a box jellyfish had stung her. She didn’t survive the trip to the er. 

It was a very...odd way for someone to die. Not in the sense that the box jellyfish aren't deadly, no, it was just sudden. And Felix didn’t really know how to handle sudden.

So here he sits, in the graveyard next to his catholic church, over his mother’s gravestone, earphones in as he just… stares. He can’t even cry at this moment, looking over his mother’s grave seems so unreal. She had a year left at least.

“Felix.” He could barely hear the voice calling his name, but he took out his earbuds anyways.

“What?” He snapped, not looking up from his mother’s grave.

“You’ve been here for hours now. We’re supposed to take you in to foster care.”

“I don’t want to go.” He said.

“It’s law, Felix.”

“I don’t want to go.”

A sigh.

“Alright. We can stay here a bit longer, but we have to eventually. Your landlord already helped us move your things. You didn’t have a lot.”

“We didn’t have a lot. We didn’t need a lot.”

Another sigh. “Okay Felix.”

He didn’t really properly meet the boy that had been watching him from two rows over in the graveyard site, wearing all black except for a dark blue brooch on his blazer. Felix didn’t get a good look at him at all. He didn’t care to.

Two days later, he’s zoning out in the common room of the foster care facility he was placed at, staring dejectedly at a couple of board game pieces. He missed his mom. He missed her a lot. She was everything to him.

That might sound a little off, but it’s true. There was no dad ever in Felix’s life. He never met him, and he honestly didn’t care to. His mom never spoke about his dad, and when she did, she looked so...cold. Upset. She was a very happy person generally and it was jarring to see her in that state, so, Felix never asked. He liked when his mom smiled and watched the ocean when they drove by. Not when she frowned at the mention of his family.

He didn’t mind not knowing. His school had a problem with it, as he failed his family history project because of it, and they didn’t like only having one contact for everything, but that sucked for them. Felix had liked his life just fine with his mom. She was so uplifting and cheerful, Felix liked being in her presence. People told him he looked just like her. Acted just like her. It was a compliment, certainly, as she was the nicest woman he knew, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was just an imitation of his mom. He felt like there was an entire part of him missing, and for once in his life, he kind of wished he had some sort of family there to fill the gap.

Sure he had his school friends, but because the foster facility he had to stay at was a couple of streets away, he had to move schools.

He had Mrs. Kim, his mom’s closest friend, but she was too old and blamed herself for losing his mom in the first place.

“Felix.”

Felix slowly looked up from where he was staring into space to be met with his social worker, Mrs. Walker.

“Huh?” He mumbled an affirmative that he was paying attention, averting his eyes.

“Come to the office with me. There’s some options I’d like to discuss with you if that’s okay.” Mrs. Walker said, and Felix stood, wordlessly following the woman to her office. She was kind, just strict. Suffocating.

Felix always felt like he was suffocating now.

“I’m sure you’re aware we’ve had a tough time locating any family of yours.” Mrs. Walker started.

“I don’t have any family.” Felix responded. “I never met any of them, and they never met me. My mom left for a reason. Why would I want to be with them if I had any?” He said, voice cold. He didn’t mean for it to be, he just simply didn’t care for the conversation.

“Yes, well, we found out a lot of interesting things about your mother. Did you know she wasn’t originally an Australian citizen? She was south korean.” Mrs. Walker started, and Felix shrugged. “We’re Korean. So she originally had a different citizenship.” Felix said with a shrug.

“She had a different name too. Her birth name wasn’t Hayoon Lee.” Mrs. Walker said. Now that...that Felix didn’t know. He didn’t let it show on his face though. Instead, he tried to act casual about the revelation, shrugging. “Okay then. What was her birth name?” Felix asked.

“Sanghee Bang. Did you know that Felix?” Mrs. Walker asked, and Felix scoffed.

“Obviously not if I asked what it was.” Felix responded, rolling his eyes. “What does that have to do with anything? I know her as Hayoon, I’m gonna keep referring to her as Hayoon.” Felix said, and Mrs. Walker sighed. “Felix I understand that you and your mother do not view your distant family in the best light but by law if there are any existing members I am supposed to inform them of your existence.” Mrs. Walker said. Felix was silent for a few moments.

“Well, will you?”

“I already did.”

“When?”

“When we got the call from the hospital.”

That was weeks ago. Felix couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What? Who? Why would you do that!? Couldn’t I apply for emancipation or something?” Felix immediately argued.

“No, sadly that’s not possible. You’re required to have six months of a job that provides enough money for you to support yourself and a place of your own.”

“I can move back into my mom’s place. It was cheap. I’ve had a job before-”

“Felix, they were already contacted a while ago. I can’t say your case was handled the best but you will be put in the care of good people. We’ve checked your relatives, and you’re going to be staying with your dad.”

Felix froze.

“I have one?” He asked, a little uncertain.

“Yes. And three brothers.”

“What the hell?” Felix couldn’t believe his ears, so he did what any normal person did: he started laughing hysterically until the tears came. Because, honestly how else does one react to that news?

“I said, you have three brothers.” Mrs. Walker said. “A twin born a day apart from you, and two older brothers.”

Felix snorted. “A twin? Okay, what is this a prank or something?” He asked, and Mrs. Walker laughed, shaking her head. “Far from it Felix, you’re going to meet them at the airport tomorrow.” She said, keeping the smile pasted on her face.

“...What?”

“I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t unpack huh?”

And that is how Felix ended up on a flight to South Korea, too tired to really register his situation, too awake from anxiety and new information settling in for him to really fall asleep. His 13 hour trip was spent in absolute hell, Felix uncomfortable by how straight he was forced to sit by the airplane’s seat. Not to mention, this was his first time on an airplane. Mrs. Walker had informed him a little more about his apparent father and brothers, but the information went in one ear and out the other. He had a stepmom, which was cool, he guessed, but he wasn’t really looking forward to meeting her. He wasn’t looking forward to meeting any of these people. He could only understand korean, he couldn’t speak it. And even then, how far would his comprehension get him? God, this was nerve wracking.

The flight may have been absolute hell, but landing was worse. Felix was immediately lost in the crowds that came from flights eager to get off, clutching his duffel bag for dear life.

For the first time in a while, Felix was lonely. Truly, utterly alone. His mom wasn’t there to help him, and the social worker Mrs. Walker couldn’t get on the plane with him. He kind of followed the crowd and hoped for the best, exhaling as he moved along. Music played in his earphones, but he knew he would have to take them out soon. He tried to follow the signs, but after a while, they stopped being translated into English, so he was walking blindly. Miraculously, he managed to find baggage claim, which, according to Mrs. Walker before he boarded, was where he was going to meet his brothers.

Except then it settled in he had absolutely no idea what they looked like, and he couldn’t remember their names except that it all ended with Bang and now he realizes that their first meeting is going to be with Felix wearing socks, sandals, sweatpants, and a blouse that used to be his moms that he only really put on for comfort. He stopped at a bench and threw his sandals into his bag, not wanting to look completely ridiculous to his brothers. Wow. Brothers. He still hadn’t gotten over the fact that he had a twin. This was wild.

Okay. Shoes? Switched to converse. Shirt? A plain black hoodie that matched the sweatpants was thrown over it. Cool. Now he’s officially ready for death. He zipped up his duffel bag again and readjusted how it sat on his backpack, sniffing and clearing his throat before kind of walking around aimlessly, looking at the groups of people and signs. What was he looking for? A sign in English? Well, he was looking for three people, and if they were related that means they must look kind of like him right? So any facial similarities, maybe they were wearing something similar? Although being blood related doesn’t mean you’ll have a similar sense of fashion right off the bat. Well, maybe his twin is identical? So he should be looking for someone who looks just like-

Someone rather violently tapped his shoulder and he jumped and screamed, covering his mouth almost immediately as he turned around, accidentally hitting the stranger with his duffel bag, who was now hunched over, gasping for breath. Ouch. He definitely got hit with the part that has Felix’s sketchbook. Possibly his makeup bag.

“Oh- Oh shit I’m so sorry-” Felix apologized in English, not knowing if he should’ve switched to korean. His korean was broken anyways he really hoped he didn’t have to. 

“It’s- you’re fine- I’m sorry for startling you like that-” The man wheezed, taking a few moments to regain his posture, Felix still apologizing. He didn’t even notice the other had responded with an Australian accent, let alone in English. 

“You’re- You are Lee Yongbok right?” The man asked after Felix seemed to be done apologizing for the most part. Felix tilted his head for a minute before it clicked. Yongbok was his legal name and Korean name, but he never used it.

“Ah...yes...uh...yeah. Who are you?” Felix asked, awkwardly shaking the hand the other guy kind of awkwardly thrusted in front of him.

“I’m Bang Chan! It’s nice to see- well, formally meet you I guess, since the last time I saw you I was two and you technically weren’t born yet.” The sentence rolled awkwardly off his lips, and Felix looked even more confused before it clicked. “Oh...Oh. You’re...one of my brothers?” He asked a bit awkwardly, squinting. Chan nodded. “Yeah- I’m so sorry for scaring you by the way.” He said. Felix took a good look at his brother.

For one, the other man was wearing a gray suit. A really expensive suit, paired with an expensive watch, and dangly silver earrings that looked similarly expensive. Felix was really, really overwhelmed. Felix remembers passing by the man assuming he was here for a business meeting or something, because not far behind him were there two men in different styles of suits and with them about four or five men in plain black suits with sunglasses.

What the actual hell.

Then he noticed the sign they were holding. It was in Korean, and it used his legal name. Of course he would’ve missed it. He sighed slightly, shaking his head.

“What? What’s wrong?” The man talking to him, Chan, asked.

“Nothing I just- I’m an idiot. I missed the sign because I’m used to people calling me Felix.” He said, and Chan nodded in understanding. “Makes sense. Here, do you need someone to carry that?” Chan asked, referring to Felix’s bag. Felix shook his head as he allowed the other to lead him to the group that seconds before he had just solidified how intimidated he was by.

“Guys, this is Yongbok- or well, Felix.” Chan introduced him in Korean, and Felix was surprised he could understand it. A man in a dark green suit with a velvet colored button up underneath smiled widely, going immediately in for a hug, which caught Felix off guard, the man giving the other an awkward pat on the back, hoping he would separate from him. He didn’t. Felix noticed that Chan and the man hugging him both had blond hair, while the short one in the dark blue suit that had been staring at the floor until now had plain black hair. Felix wondered what that was about.

“Uh… Please let go.” Felix said after the hug had stretched on to way too long for it to be comfortable for either boy. The other did so rather sheepish looking, still holding Felix by the shoulders.

“Is it true that we’re only a few minutes apart but born on different days?” He asked in english, and it clicked for Felix that this must be his twin. Wild, because they looked nothing alike.

“Uh...I dunno. I guess. It’s nice to meet you…?” Felix trailed off, realizing he didn’t know his brother, no, his twin’s name. Oh god this was weird. Don’t internalize it, don’t internalize it, don’t internalize it-

“I’m Jisung!! You’re so adorable!! I want to keep hugging you but you told me not to so I won’t but just know at any time if you want me to hug you I will very much because not only am I shaking right now but also I don’t want you to feel left out or anything which is really hard considering we’ve technically never met except for when we were womb buddies but I don’t think that counts because we didn’t really know each other but did you know that twins could actually eat each other in the womb? I’m so glad I didn’t eat you-”

“Okay- Jisung, please- you’re scaring him.” Chan interrupted. It was less scary to Felix, and more Felix had been overwhelmed for the past two days and looked and felt like he was about to cry. “Okay. Cool.” He forced out, nodding. He looked really concentrated, but he was just trying hard not to cry. “Anyone else I need to meet?” Felix asked.

“No.” The third, and shortest stranger replied.

“Not right now Felix, if you want you and Changbin can formally introduce yourselves later. You must be tired.” Chan said, and Felix nodded. He was really tired. Changbin seemed to shift uncomfortably in place, before Chan started walking, the three walking behind him, and after them, the four guards Felix had completely forgotten about until now. Felix looked obviously freaked the fuck out, but didn’t say anything as they walked, glancing over his shoulder constantly to the men in black suits. At some point, his three brothers seemed to have put sunglasses on as well, and Felix just let his hair cover his face, since his sunglasses were buried somewhere in the bottom of his bag.

“Where are we going?” Felix asked as he walked behind Chan, kind of having to double his pace because the older man was taking long fast strides, and Felix was having trouble keeping up. “Also why are you all wearing suits? And who are the guys wearing suits that haven’t spoken? Also did you talk to Mrs. Walker because-” Felix’s questionnaire stopped mid-sentence as he saw Chan smile to him. “What are you talking about silly? We’re Bang’s...this is casual wear. And it’s for safety.” He said, raising an eyebrow. Felix was lost. He had more questions, but he opted for a simpler one instead.

“Oh yeah, also that reminds me do I have to change my name because I don’t know if I’m really down for that yet. I like being Lee, I mean, like, Lee Felix, you know but Mrs. Walker said I might have to-” Felix was very stressed about that specific piece of information he had been told before he boarded the plane.

“It’s up to our dad honestly. He’ll do legally what he sees fit.” Chan said with a shrug, in attempts to reassure Felix, but from the way he quickly looked away after and led the group outside, Felix didn’t feel reassured at all. He had a bad gut feeling.

There were two cars outside and both looked really nice. Felix was about to ask what direction they were going, assuming they were going to the parking lot, almost experiencing whiplash as Bang Chan walked directly towards one of the cars, Felix’s eyes wide. He couldn’t place the brand name but he knew that car was expensive as fuck. What the hell was going on?

He must’ve looked obviously uncomfortable because Jisung gave him a small nudge and smiled. “C’mon we’re going home.” He said. Felix wanted to walk into the middle of the street. Instead, he followed his brothers to the cars, forcing himself to not just stop and stare. Who were these people?

If their suits and jewelry and cars were off putting, it was nothing compared to their house. It was really old. Felix once saw a historical korean movie and the house looked a lot like the palace in the movie. It was also in the middle of nowhere, and that fact alone caused Felix’s anxiety to grow as the cityscape of Seoul faded during the forty five minute long ride it took to get there. And that was without traffic.

The car ride was silent, the short one- Changbin, having simply looked out the window without another word, Jisung bouncing his leg and humming the tune of a song Felix didn’t recognize, and Chan in the front passenger seat, conversing with someone at this point Felix was starting to think was a bodyguard. Were his brothers a part of the korean mafia? Is he entering the drug and gang violent life now? These questions plagued his mind during the car trip, and only got worse as he followed his brothers through a second set of gates and up the path to the house.

He refused to let anyone see him shake or cry though, despite the tension being very evident in his body. He fidgeted with his duffel bag straps, following Chan. Chan stopped and removed his shoes before sliding into a pair of slippers on the wooden deck, and Felix clumsily followed, just opting for his socks on the deck instead. Changbin and Jisung had their own slippers already laid out. Felix kicked his foot lightly, sighing. The exhaustion was starting to set in.

“I’ll show you to your room myself, answer any questions I can, you can nap, and then we’ll have dinner. If that sounds okay?” Chan asked, in english again. Felix nodded, silently, and Chan said something in korean to the guards who seemed to disperse after.

“This is fucking weird.” Changbin spoke korean, but Felix understood it. And in English he snorted and responded. “You’re telling me.” He murmured, not making eye contact with anyone. But that just seemed to upset Changbin more. “He looks just like mom.” Changbin said, speaking english this time. Everyone seemed to still.

“Changbin-”

“No, why is he here? He had the option to be emancipated, why wasn’t that discussed?” Changbin asked, crossing his arms. “Mom didn’t want to be here and he looks uncomfortable. Does he even know what’s going on?” Changbin asked, gaze hardening.

“What? What’s going on? What are you talking about?” Felix asked, laughing nervously.

Instead of giving Felix a straight answer, Changbin responded, “You’re gonna have to change your name. And dye your hair. Even if you don’t want to, Mr. Bang doesn’t want anyone in the family associated with Sanghee.”

Felix just was confused for a minute, before realizing they were talking about his mom. “Her name is Hayoon. Hayoon Lee.” He said, frowning.

“It doesn’t matter what her name was changed to, you think you’re gonna get to keep being Felix Lee?” Changbin spat back. Jisung was uncharacteristically silent and Chan looked frustrated. “Changbin that’s enough.” He said, but the second eldest wasn’t listening.

“What? What are you gonna do? Let him down easy like you tried with Jisung? How did that work out Chan?” Changbin asked, and Chan was about to reply before he heard a broken sob.

Felix didn’t mean for it to come out, he really didn’t, but the confusion and stress of meeting his family was starting to get to him.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on.” He said, more tears starting to spill. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on.” He repeated. “I don’t know any of you. I’ve been an only child my whole life. I had an entire community of friends in Australia- I had my mom.” Felix was bordering ugly crying now and Chan’s hands were hovering over him, like he wanted to give a hug but he wasn’t sure if he really could.

“I had a nice church with nice people and we always had barbecues on the weekends and I had a dance class and I was in a country where I could understand everything.” Felix’s breathing became unsteady. “Now I’m surrounded by random rich men who I’m apparently related to and now in custody, despite the fact that my mom cut off any ties to family she could; and now you want me to cut all my ties off to her?” Felix felt the tears come in quick and fast, and Jisung shook his head.

“Yongbok- Felix- that’s not what Changbin meant- we don’t want you to-”

“Then just tell me what the hell is going on! Please. I’m really lost and I don’t want to keep being confused just tell me who the fuck you are!” Felix was a little loud, but understandably, he was upset and irritated by the amount of useless information being thrown at him.

“Jesus christ you don’t even know who the Bangs are do you?” Chan asked as realization dawned on his face.

“Who?” Felix asked, face scrunched up. “Like your last name?” He asked, and in response the three men collectively groaned.

“Of course that inept social worker wouldn’t tell him anything she didn’t even tell him what we looked like once he got off the plane.” Jisung said, and hit his head against one of the wooden posts. Changbin covered his face and Chan looked like he was processing this new information. Should Felix know something important?

“My guy, my bro.” Chan started. “You’re literally royalty. The Bangs are royalty and you are literally fourth in line for the throne.” He said, and Felix sniffed, whipping his tears away.

“That sounds like it should be great news but it took a whole mental breakdown to get there so fuck you.” He responded.

“That’s valid.” Chan said, and Felix repeated the last two words again, but this time to anyone in the general vicinity rather than to just Chan.

“I want to go home.” He murmured, grabbing his duffel bag.

“I’m sorry.” Chan said, sympathetically hugging Felix. Felix didn’t realize he needed the hug until he was already in Chan’s arms. He didn’t know if Chan was apologizing for the stress Felix was under, or if he was apologizing because he knew Felix couldn’t go home.

“Let’s get you to sleep, bub. I bet you’re tired.” Chan said, and Felix sagely nodded. He allowed Chan to lead him to his room, where he promptly proceeded to pass the fuck out.

“Why do I have to wear this?” Felix asked, half awake and staring at the hanbok laid in front of him.

“Because our tailor doesn’t have your measurements and I doubt you have anything our dad will approve of.” Jisung told the sleepy male honestly, not even bothering to sound nice about it anymore.

“Hey.” Felix pouted. “I have a button up in there somewhere.”

“Yeah...so just put the thing on please.” Jisung said, blinking. Felix sniffed and looked to Jisung.

“I don’t know how to.” He said, and Jisung sighed, kneeling next to Felix on the bed. He moved the fabric, telling Felix what goes on in what order and how to tie the rope thing Felix didn’t know the name of despite Jisung telling him five times. Felix changed in the bathroom, coming out after washing his face (he slept with light makeup on accident), feeling uncomfortable in the traditional piece. Jisung clapped his hands. “You look good!” He said with a smile before staring at Felix’s face.

“What? What is it?” Felix asked.

“Nothing. I just...uh… noticed your freckles. They’re really cute.” Jisung said, smiling. “Chan used to have them but they faded when he moved back to Korea.” He said. Felix furrowed his eyebrows together.

“Chan didn’t live in korea?”

“He did- he studied abroad in Sydney.” Jisung said. “I went to Malaysia. It’s why we’re good at english.”

Felix nodded in understanding. “What about Changbin?” He asked, curious. Jisung shrugged offhandedly. “Russia, but he took an English course before he went and practiced with us so he’s pretty fluent.” Jisung explained, and Felix nodded.

“I have to learn korean?” Felix asked, and Jisung nodded. “Maybe a third language too depending on what dad says. Or- Mr. Bang, sorry. He’ll basically just tell you the courses you need to take, what changed you’re going to make, and then put them into effect. There’s a lot of stupid rules but you’re royalty so you can’t really...do dumb shit anymore you know?” Jisung tried to emphasize, before clarifying. “Not that I’m saying you did dumb shit in the past. Just that if you did, you’re going to have to change a lot.” He said, and slowly, Felix nodded.

“So basically until i’m 20, all my rights are gone?” Felix asked, and Jisung nodded somberly. “It sucks but you get used to it.” Jisugn finished, but Felix shook his head. “No, it just sounds like it sucks.” He responded.

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

A silence fell over the two.

“Did you ever meet mom?” Felix asked Jisung, and Jisung seemed almost startled by the question.

“Uhm...once. When I was really really little. Chan and Changbin both have more- especially Changbin. And he’s right. You look exactly like her. It’s a little unnerving.” Jisung admitted. Felix had never heard it be described that way before. Usually people just told him he was good looking like his mother, or that good genes ran in the family. But Jisung used the word Unnerving, and Felix isn’t sure why but it put a bad taste in his mouth.

“Sanghee- I mean, Hayoon had visited a few times not because she wanted to, but because Mr. Bang kept making her come. At some point she left all together, and broke all contact and we assumed she was dead or just far away.” Jisung said. “None of us ever really saw her like that- except for Changbin though. I saw her in the hall. We exchanged hellos. I didn’t even know at the time she was my mom.” He admitted.

Felix remembers all the trips his mom used to go on that he never questioned. He wondered if those were the trips.

“Why does dad- Mr. Bang not like her?” Felix asked curiously, tilting his head. Jisung rubbed his eyes.

“Well, royalty is important, is it not? And she was technically from an old line of nobles and despite her looking like a normal korean citizen it was the lineage that mattered.” Jisung said. “But she absolutely hated it. Which is ironic because i’m sure she’s the only person Mr. Bang ever loved.” Jisung said. He waved off his words. “She detested having nothing to do all day except study and excel in areas she didn’t want to. She played the Gayageum beautifully from what I heard rumor wise, but Changbin is the only one who heard her play it. He said she looked sad every time she did.” Jisung said. Felix thought about it. He tried to imagine his mother in a place like this, but he just couldn’t.

“She really would hate it here.” Felix said, laughing. “We used to drive around during the nighttime and enjoy the city lights. She went to the beach with her friends every weekend before she got ill.” Felix said, and Jisung couldn’t help but smile trying to imagine it.

“What did she do for fun?” He asked, sitting in a more comfortable position on Felix’s bed, Felix joining him. Felix looked up to the ceiling in thought. “Hmm...let’s see. I can’t really pinpoint any one thing. I really loved dance- mom did too. But it wasn’t really a passion for her.” Felix said, tilting his head.

“She liked telling stories. I have a book she loved to read outloud. I’ve heard and read it a thousand times at least but it doesn’t really get old.” Felix said with a smile, chuckling softly. He remembers sitting in their cramped apartment living room, criss-cross and leaning against his mom’s lap while she read him whatever book he had picked at the bookstore that month.

“That sounds really nice.” Jisung offered, and Felix smiled. “It was nice. Sometimes she read to me on the beach.” He said, smiling. Talking about his mother gave him a new sense of comfort. Maybe Jisung wasn’t so bad? They were supposed twins after all.

“I wish I grew up next to a beach like that.” Jisung said with a laugh. Felix grinned back. His facial expression changed as he thought about what Chan said earlier.

“Hey. Chan was joking about the royalty thing right? You guys just own a big company or something?” Felix asked, tilting his head. Jisung looked confused. “What? No. Why would Chan lie about it?” He asked.

Felix sighed. “But like, is royalty even a thing anymore?” He asked, trying to wrap his head around the concept.

“Yes.” Jisung answered. “The queen of England exists.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, but isn’t South Korea a democracy?” Felix asked, and Jisung moved his head slightly to the side. “Yes. We still carry the title, wealth, and respect that comes with the Bang name though. Think of the Bangs as...rich spokespeople.” Jisung tried, offering a sheepish look. Felix just looked even more confused.

“We still technically are royalty in the sense that Chan is first in line to the throne, and in a very *very* obscure way, we do have a slightly bigger say in government ongoings than the people do or government officials do, and in the event something happens to the country and the president isn’t available, we technically take what’s called secondary leadership but besides that we don’t really do much outside of the title.” Jisung tried to explain. Felix had a bit of an easier time understanding him, but was still left with many questions. He didn’t have time to ask them though, because there was a knock at the door. Jisung looked to Felix expectantly, but Felix only responded by shrugging, not knowing what the other wanted.

“Come in!” Jisung said after another moment of silence, the door slowly opening to reveal...one mildly upset Changbin. Or did he always have that look on his face?

Felix looked away from the man at the door, reaching for his phone to check if he had any new notifications. Of course he didn’t.

“It’s dinner. Chan wanted me to come get you guys instead of one of the staff…” Changbin said, trailing off awkwardly. After another moment of silence passed, Jisung cleared his throat, before helping Felix up off the bed, Felix being forced to last minute ditch his phone and letting it fall to the bed covers, sighing.

“How the hell do you walk in this thing?” Felix asked, trying not to trip over himself as he walked down the hall. But maybe that was just because he was used to looking at his feet and now couldn’t see them over the few layers of fabric he had on.

“Language, and you only have to wear it once before we get you fitted for clothes.” Jisung reminded him, and Felix sighed.

“Can’t we just go to a Myer’s or something? Get clothes there?” Felix asked, a little intimidated at the prospect of having an entire tailor take his measurements just for ...what, some suits that felix wouldn’t wear if his life depended on it? He grimaced when he tried to imagine himself in Jisung’s green and purple outfit. It wasn’t inherently bad, and it looked good on the other, but Felix? Wouldn’t wear that shit in a million years.

“What’s a Myer’s?” Jisung asked, before opening what looked like the dining room doors. Felix showed concern and disgust on his face as he made eye contact with Jisung before entering the dining room after Changbin.

It was...surprisingly large for only four people eating. 

“I can’t believe you made me dress up for shrimp and him.” Felix said exasperatedly, pointing to Chan. Chan laughed out loud in response as he pulled back a chair out for Felix. Felix walked over slowly, only after Changbin and Jisung had started walking to their respective seats at the table as well. Felix sat down, thanking Chan, managing an awkward smile. Chan returned it before crossing the room to sit at the other end of the table, directly across from Felix, Felix not picking up his utensils to eat until he saw his brothers do the same.

“You’re dressed up for Mr. Bang. Or, well, dad, but don’t let him hear you call him that.” Chan said, before starting to eat the rice and shrimp on his plate.

“Why?” Felix asked. No one answered. He tried a different approach.

“What’s dad like?” He asked curiously, slowly lowering his chopsticks so that he could raise his glass of water and take a sip.

Changbin scoffed. “About as much as a dad as a stranger on the subway.” He murmured under his breath. Felix barely caught it, but Jisung seemed to as well, frowning as he looked to Changbin.

“He’s very...busy.” Chan said, interrupting the moment. “And strict.” He chuckled a bit awkwardly, unsure how to continue. “Just be on your best behavior when you meet him and you should be fine.” Chan answered, and Felix nodded, knowing there was something he was missing. Was Mr. Bang neglectful or something?

“Anyways, what were you doing before ...uh, Korea, Yongbok? What did life look like?” Chan asked, and Felix almost completely forgot why he was here. “Uh...I went swimming with my church mates every weekend.” Felix said, shrugging. “I dunno. Grades were okay. Swam. Danced. Read. That’s about it.” Felix said as he picked at what little food was left on his plate.

“That’s nice! I was in Australia for a good part of my childhood and I swam too. It’s really nice there.” Chan said, smiling widely. Felix kind of nodded. Another silence fell over the four.

“So...brothers huh? And I’m the youngest?” Felix asked, sipping his water again.

“Yes sir!” It was Jisung who spoke this time. “I’m older by five minutes.” He said proudly, puffing his chest. Felix couldn’t help but laugh. Chan rolled his eyes. “Yeah...an entire teenage lifetime of memories to catch up on is gonna take awhile for all of us, and it’ll be very hard but...I think you’ll like it here. And if not here, you’ll at least like one or two of us.” Chan joked, and Felix chuckled a little. He felt more optimistic about his situation, but he couldn’t help but have the question poke at the back of his mind:

Why did his mom want to remove herself from her family so much? From her other sons?

What the plan had been was to unleash inquiry upon inquiry onto Mr. Bang and not leave until Felix had his answers. About the royalty claims, the brother situation, but most importantly, his mom.

Now he stood in front of the door, forgetting the entirety of what he tried to rehearse.

He exhaled, slowly reaching out to the door.

Here goes nothing.


	2. yet, it always seems i am.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mom.”
> 
> It was one word, barely muttered, and it made Felix freeze in place. He turned back around, sitting on the side of the bed, slowly detaching Changbin’s arm from his own.
> 
> “I’m not mom, Changbin.” He whispered, looking up at the ceiling as his voice wavered.
> 
> “You remind me so much of her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how the stories are read in this chapter is me experimenting, because I'm not sure how I want to write those scenes yet. Just know that if I base the mini-stories off of a music video (which i might for some of them), I'll say it in the notes either before or after.
> 
> also sobs Changbin is finally warming up to felix which like, yeah okay it was only one chapter but still
> 
> almost added major character death tag bc i had a great idea but i wont do it dw

Water ran down Felix’s back as he leaned against the shower stall. He was exhausted.

‘You’re wild, uncultured, and look delinquent just like your mother!’

He turned slightly so that his forehead was pressed against the cold tile, his eyes squeezed close.

‘Australia tainted your skin with those ugly moles.’

He didn’t even want to move. He was too tired to. He wished he could stay in the shower under the hot water for hours. Knowing how rich the Bangs were, he could, and it would probably have a very small effect on their water and electricity bill overall.

‘You’re ungrateful for what we have decided to do for you. You are fourth in line for the throne, your worth to this family is that of a pig to a milkman.’

Felix stared at his recently dyed blond hair. Originally, he wanted to opt for black, since those were the only two colors he could choose from, and that also meant that the hair colors would be even, since he and Changbin would sport dark hair while Jisung and Chan sported light hair- but Jisung wanted to match with the younger, and begged him to dye his hair blond. Reluctantly, Felix had agreed. And he’s glad, honestly. Blond suited him. But he would always like his natural red more.

Felix had been living with the Bangs for a month now- or he should say, he’s been living with his father and two of his brothers for a month now. Chan was the only one moved out. Even with two others though, Felix struggled. Changbin was never around, for one, and Jisung could only help Felix so much when Felix could barely speak Korean. God, Korean.

Mr. Bang ordered that everyone (including staff Felix didn’t even know they had around the house) only spoke to Felix in Korean. And that they call him Yongbok.

*Bang* Yongbok.

The first thing Mr. Bang did was change Felix’s name despite Felix’s rather loud protests for otherwise, but he refused to have someone ‘tainted’ with ‘that woman’s ways’ in the house. Felix, naturally, hating any authority that he thought was absolute shit and also not liking people bad mouthing his mother, had some shit to say in response.

After he was then thrown into his room and locked in for two days without food, he adjusted to everything else pretty quickly. Even when he was suddenly in a bunch of different classes, all privately tutored. He honest to god has never had so much to do. And it seemed all pretty useless too?

Like who the hell needs to know a traditional musical instrument? Felix sure as hell didn’t. And he didn’t really know why he was being taught Chinese on TOP of Korean either. Korean History was one of the only lessons he looked forward to, and at two hours, it was the shortest of all his classes.

The SHORTEST.

Yeah, Felix was not vibing with this at all.

His updated wardrobe was not something he really vibed with either. Graphic tees or plain hoodies were replaced with dress shirts and oddly nice sweaters to go over them but still show the collar of his shirt if he got cold. His patch jeans and regular pairs of jeans and pants were switched out almost completely for dress pants, and occasionally, a pair of shorts. His favourite and only pair of converse that had been with him for most of high school and middle school and had scribble after scribble were replaced with dress shoes that Felix honestly never fucking wore. He felt bad wearing them and like if he so much as scuffed them, he was going to accidentally curse his children and their children and so on for years to come. Those were the only ones Felix outright refused, Chan splurging to sneak him in a few pairs of sneakers. Chan was slowly becoming Felix’s favourite brother.

Felix was allowed to continue some things, like his dance and martial arts classes, which were the only two things Felix looked forward to anymore or that the bangs seemed impressed by.

Chan’s fiance, a man named Minho, helped tutor Felix. Since Felix wasn’t confident in his Korean skills at all, he often seemed a lot more quiet and reserved than usual, so it was a breath of fresh air when Minho would speak English with him for him to grasp concepts.

“And this is right after Japan’s defeat during World War II, so what happened then?” Minho asked, sitting with Felix at the table in the library, both hunched over a textbook, Felix peering at the Korean text before looking over to his own notes.

“...Uh, Korea divided?” Felix tried, and Minho nodded, urging Felix to go further.

“Uh...into…” He glanced at his notes again. “The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea in the north, and the Republic of Korea in the south.” He said, and Minho nodded, beaming.”Yes! You’re spot on.”

“And then that’s when the cold war caused the Korean war or whatever, right?” He asked, and Minho nodded. 

“I think there’s a couple years in there timeline wise but yeah, which connects to what we learned last unit-”

He was cut off by a knock on the door, both men switching to Korean.

“Come in!” Minho called setting down the pencil as he peered over Felix’s shoulder to see who was at the door.

It was one of the house staff- one that was slowly becoming Felix’s friend. His name was Jaehyung. He spoke English as a first language, much similar to Felix, and he had been assigned to the younger boy as his personal bodyguard and assistant. Felix felt weird treating him like someone who worked for the younger though. Instead, he often still called Jaehyung by the appropriate honorifics (if they were strangers to each other), and treated him with respect. Which didn’t go unnoticed by Jaehyung.

From someone just watching the two interact, their friendship was odd. It mostly consisted of Jaehyung carrying Felix back into the house every time he tried to escape, and Felix pleading for Jaehyung to let him go into the world just for a few minutes, Jaehyung responding that he’d like to keep his job. He did occasionally get Felix treats or small things like books or a CD if Felix asked for it. So far, Felix had only given Jaehyung what was left of his money and asked him to get him either an iPod or a small phone, whichever was cheaper. Jaehyung returned with the small device that Felix had asked for, Felix giving him a big hug after, overjoyed he could at least text the few people he talked to back in Australia over discord. He had all his music back too, which made him very happy.

“Yongbok’s presence is being requested tonight at dinner Mr. Bang and his brothers.”

Felix looked to Minho with a confused look on his face. They hadn’t eaten dinner together as an entire family since Felix had gotten there.

“Huh? Why?” Felix asked, making a face. Almost like he was disgusted at the notion. Which, arguably, he was.

Minho laughed, shaking his head. “Why the face? I’m sure you and your brothers will have a nice time together.” He said. Felix wanted to respond that it wasn’t his brothers he was disgusted by. It was the notion of sitting in the same room as his father with them. The man had literally verbally abused Felix when he first got there, and he didn’t seem to change much as a person at all. Felix had only seen him twice since then, and each encounter had been equally terrible. Minho saw Felix’s worried flash in his eyes, and gave him a reassuring smile in response.

“I wasn’t informed why. Only that you were called your highness.” He responded, and Felix scrunched his nose up at the title. “Dude, Minho’s chill you don’t need to call me that it’s gross.” He said, stumbling over his words in Korean a little bit. Jaehyung just laughed.

“As long as we speak Korean I will call you by your appropriate title your highness.” Jaehyung responded, and Felix sighed before checking his watch, standing. He slipped his house slippers back on, tucking his now mullet length hair behind his ear as he started to stack and put his books away neatly, knowing it was useless and he’d have to come back to them after dinner anyways.

“Okay then, let’s go I guess.” He murmured, yawning. He wanted to nap so badly. Minho rose with him, humming.

“I’ll walk with him to greet Bang Chan before I head out if that’s alright?” Minho asked Jaehyung, and Jaehyung nodded. “I don’t see why not.” He said, moving to the side so that Felix and Minho could lead the way, the younger purposely trying to slow the pace he walked at so as to not get to the dining room. Maybe he could enter a portal and never return and-

The room door slid open and Felix slowly entered, noticing Chan was still in the hall, exchanging small pleasantries with his fiance before they shared a quick kiss. Felix wanted to jokingly gag, but unlike the older, Felix was now in Mr. Bang’s line of sight. He took his usual spot right next to Jisung on the right side of the huge table, across from Changbin. Chan sat at one head of the table, Mr. Bang at the other head. The room was a little too quiet. Felix didn’t say a word as he sat, nervously staring down at his plate. It seemed that was a good idea, as no one else was saying anything either.

They sat in the same silence as plates of food were brought out to them, no one making a movement until Mr. Bang himself picked up his own utensils, Felix hastily following suit of his brothers and picking up his own pair of chopsticks, not really caring what was on the plate.

“Jisung. Yongbok.” Mr. Bang spoke clear and with obvious authority.

“Yes?” They both said at the same time, heads snapping up.

“You’re going to move in with one of your brothers. Changbin is getting engaged.” He said, expression unchanging as Changbin seemed to further slump in his seat. He continued. “Around a month from now the Wang's are throwing a performance event. You two will perform.” He said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes sir.” They both echoed, not making eye contact with their dad.

“Yongbok.”

“Yes sir?”

“Do you have a talent?” He asked, the way he did so almost mocking. Should Felix have been offended? He didn’t know. Did dancing count as a talent? He looked unsurely to his brothers and then to his father.

“Uh...no sir. I don’t think so.” He said awkwardly, Mr. Bang scoffing. “Useless. Just like your mother.” He murmured. Felix looked a bit pale at that, angry, but also upset. He looked down before Jisung came to his aid. 

“That’s not true!” Jisung quickly defended. “He can read!” He said.

Felix’s head snapped up as he stared at Jisung, panic evident in his face. Changbin’s curiosity peaked a little, and Chan raised an eyebrow.

Felix didn’t know what to say. “Jisung what are you doing?” He whisper-yelled, looking panicked.

“What?” Jisung whispered back, still looking to their dad. “You said mom could read. Read like she did.” He said, and Felix gulped. His voice- he couldn’t read like his mom. She had people captured by what was going on in the story. Felix didn’t finish reading books by himself sometimes.

“Can you read, Yongbok?” Mr. Bang asked, and Felix cleared his throat a little awkwardly, unsure of how to respond. He looked to his father, who scared the living shit out of him.

“Uh, yes sir.” He said, clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Let’s have a demonstration after dinner then.” He said, and Felix forced himself to not show further panic on his face.

“Yes sir.”

And so here Felix sat on his legs on a pillow, seated on the small platform in the middle of the library that was usually used for reading during the afternoon, as the sun shone through the windows and on the pages perfectly. However, the two armchairs where someone would usually sit were behind Felix, and he was instead in front of a small lectern, the sunset’s beautiful reds and pinks that were scattered across the sky shining through the window, making Felix look like some magical creature as he had his hands folded in his lap, staring at the book on the lectern. Then back to his brothers, his father, and a few of the house staff seated comfortably in chairs, Mr. Bang only letting them sit to ask for their honest opinion.

“How much do you want me to read?” Felix asked as he slowly opened the book, already setting it to the first chapter so that he could start off with ease. He tried to remember all his mother’s techniques, what she would use when reading to him. The book they had picked out for him to read was a psychological thriller. How would mom read horror books? She would keep tension in her voice. Not like it was awkward, almost like there was real fear. The rest was read in a way where the mood was kept dark and dreary. She was less expressive with horror books. Felix could try his best, but he didn’t know if he could imitate her style perfectly.

“A few chapters, maybe?” Chan offered, and Mr. Bang shook his head. “The whole book. You stop when I tell you to.” He said, and Felix gulped, before looking down. So that’s what the glass of water had been for. They would be there for a few hours at least. 

“Ah. Okay.” Felix nodded, before awkwardly looking down at the book, clearing his throat.

“I’ll start now.” A short pause.

“Chapter one.” His voice had become noticeably deeper as he tried to steady it, not dare moving his eyes from the words on the page.

A woman sat in her car, parked at the edge of the road and forest. It’s headlights were on and it was buried half deep in snow. It was cold. So cold. She was shivering, but she had no coat. She was pretty, even beautiful, some might even say. She prided herself on these traits. They were useless to her now.

A text message.

She ignored it.

It was soon followed by another.

She tried to ignore that one too.

The blizzard outside was so loud, she could barely even focus on her phone. If she wanted to survive she’d have to leave the car. She was ill equipped for the storm. Dressed only in a red party gown and black strap on heels. She had heavy gold earrings and her hair was down across her shoulders, but what warmth could her hair provide her in a place like this? She would surely freeze to death if she didn’t find shelter soon outside her car.

Her phone buzzed again.

She tried to look down at the text message this time, only to find her phone screen blurred. She looked confused, tilting her head and squinting at it. She didn’t voice her confusion, opting to leave the censored device there. If she couldn’t see or use it, she wouldn’t need it. She opened the door, and left the car, closing it soon after. Quickly, her skin turned pale, almost completely yellow and white. She was cold, but she did not seem to react to it.

Over the snowy mountains and dead trees that looked pitch black under the moonlight, anyone from miles away could see her bright red dress, as the moon was providing a bright enough light that the forest could be easily seen for miles. There were no animals near. No small creatures. She was alone in the world. She had reached a clearing where there were no trees, and it seemed to go on for a while. She kept walking, a red streak in the violent white storm.

She thought she heard another’s footsteps. She quickly turned around, looking back in the blizzard, squinting. She saw no one. She turned around and continued, now struggling a little more to walk than before. It made logical sense, as she was wearing heels in the middle of a blizzard, but earlier, it didn’t seem to affect her as much. Like the cold. She was obviously freezing now.

The woman turned back around only to be met with a cliff that she stood on, it dropping to a frozen river with more dead trees along its side. She doesn’t remember the cliff being there.

She didn’t know what to do. If she went back the way she came, she wasn’t sure she would be able to get back in her car. If she jumped or tried to climb down, she would surely die attempting to do so.

She turned around, the blizzard suddenly still.

She stared at the other with no emotion on her face. She could not run from the hunter. He looked at her like she was prey. She couldn’t jump. She was cornered. Death or a slightly less painful version of it.

A gunshot decided her fate for her.

The blizzard returned.

A red streak in a violent white storm.

“Stop.”

Felix looked up, jumping from how sudden the other had told him to stop. He looked out the window. It was dark now. He couldn’t check the time but he knew at least an hour or two had passed. He looked down to see that he had gotten through the entire book. Wild. He didn’t even remember actively reading some of it.

He cleared his throat awkwardly as he sipped from the glass of water, setting it down. There was silence for a moment. Felix was too scared to look at anyone’s faces. He did so anyways, only to quickly and embarrassingly look away again. Jisung and Chan had been staring in awe, hands raised like they wanted to clap, to praise their younger brother, but were only restraining because no one else had raised their hands to clap besides the two.

Changbin looked impressed, trying to hide it with his arms crossed over his chest, but his facial expression was poorly restrained.

Felix didn’t speak, clearing his throat awkwardly again.

“Can you read Chinese characters?” Mr. Bang asked. Felix was surprised by the question.

“What?” He asked, confused.

“Can you read Chinese characters?” Mr. Bang asked. It took a second for it to register in Felix’s mind and he shook his head. “No sir. But I learn reading faster than speaking. I’m sure I could.” He said, swallowing awkwardly.

“We’ll get you a Chinese tutor after you’ve gotten far enough with your Korean.” Mr. Bang said.

“Actually, Mr. Bang-”

Felix had no idea when Minho entered the room, thinking he left. He must’ve been waiting for Chan so they could leave together.

“-Yongbok has made tremendous progress with his Korean. He’s been reading the full Korean translations of the textbooks you provided.” Minho said, smiling. “He learns languages faster than anyone I’ve ever met sir.” He said, Mr. Bang not once looking at Chan’s fiance as he spoke. He was instead, staring at Felix, who was growing increasingly uncomfortable under his gaze.

“Is this true?” He asked, but Felix knew he wasn’t asking the boy himself. Instead, Jaehyung spoke. “Yes sir.” He said. “He’s progressing in all of his classes much faster than most.” Jaehyung vouched.

Mr. Bang stared at Felix.

“Hire a tutor when you see fit.” He said, and Jaehyung nodded. “Yes sir. Which language?” He asked, glancing at Felix.

“Russian or Mandarin. There are a lot of Chinese and Russian royalty at events like these. Make sure his pronunciation is good. I refuse to embarrass myself in front of others. He’s already an embarrassment, make him a small one.” Mr. Bang said, getting up and leaving without another word, some of the staff following after him quickly. As soon as he left Felix nearly collapsed, groaning as he fell to the side.

“This is awful.” He murmured, sighing.

“Which part? Your reading was so good! Can you read us stories sometimes when your Korean gets good enough?” Jisung asked excitedly. Chan laughed. “I wouldn’t mind being read to by you. Honestly? That was so good- I was surprised your voice could even go that low. Honestly! Your storytelling skills are awesome. Have you read to Jisung before?” Chan asked curiously, Felix using the lectern to slowly sit back up, blinking as he looked at the other two.

“No. Jisung said I could after I told him mom read to *me*. I’ve never read out loud before this.” He said, glaring daggers into Jisung, who shrugged.

“Call it a risk I was confident I could take.” He said, puffing his chest proudly. “And look! I was right! Look at how good he is! You can’t even disagree with this one Changbin!” Jisung said, excitedly nudging his brother’s side. Changbin swatted Jisung’s hands away, not making eye contact with anyone. “It was good.” He said after several moments of silence. There was a light pink dusting his cheeks.

Felix’s stomach growled loudly. He looked down at his stomach and poked it, sighing.

“Did talking make you hungry, young prince?” Jaehyung asked, almost teasing as he stepped up to help Felix up. The younger took his hand and stood up before stretching, sighing.

“Concentrating on anything makes me hungry Jaehyung-hyung.” He murmured, pouting slightly. The servant simply chuckled at his response, sighing. “I can get the young prince dessert if he’d like? There’s some cheesecake in the fridge-”

“Can I have some too?” Jisung blurted out. If there was one thing he always had room for in his stomach, it was definitely cheesecake. Felix laughed at his twin brother, before nodding.

“Cheesecake it is, I guess.” He said, smiling to Jaehyung and bowing his head. “Thank you Jaehyung.” He said.

“Of course, my young prince.” Jaehyung responded before leaving the room to retrieve the said sweet.

Jisung crawled up onto the platform to sit with his twin, leaning against the small but sturdy lectern. “You’re such a good reader! Or is it...storyteller?” He asked, tilting his head. “I don’t know. It’s good, whatever it is. I don’t believe that was your first time reading.” He said, smiling brightly. Felix moved Jisung so that he was leaning against the younger instead, both wanting a pillow for his head, and not wanting to break the lectern.

“It was. And just because I got cheesecake after does not mean I won’t hesitate to kill you.” He said, attacking Jisung’s sides, his older twin surprised as he burst out laughing.

“Wait! No! I’m sorry!” He shouted, laughing as he dropped, starting to roll in attempts to get away from Felix. Felix reluctantly stopped, a taunting grin on his face.

“I guess I’ll accept that apology- don’t do it again.” He said, crossing his arms and looking away in an attempt to look stuck up. Jisung laughed at the other. Felix enjoyed playing around with Jisung. It was the only sense of normalcy he had in this damn hell of a house.

“I hate to break it up boys, but we have to discuss the plan for you moving out.” Minho said, sighing.

Felix and Jisung both got up, sitting in actual chairs with the others at a big table in the library. Chan sighed. 

“Father talked to me about it a little before dinner but I’m not sure what to do.” Chan admitted, closing his eyes for a few seconds.

“All I know is I’m moving in with that uh, Jeongin kid.” Changbin said, sighing. “After the official meet of course.” He grumbled.

“Jeongin?” Felix questioned.

“He’s the son of the commander in chief of South Korea’s armed forces.” Chan said. “Around a year ago, his and Changbin’s union was planned.” He explained, and Felix looked almost scandalized. “You haven’t even met him? In the year you’ve been planning this?” He asked. Changbin seemed to further bury his head in his arms.

“I didn’t plan it.” He responded, parting two fingers so that he could look at Felix with one eye. “Father did.”

Of course, they’d get married off. Felix had let the dinner comment from earlier fly over his head.

“But then wait- who are you?” Felix asked Minho, who laughed at how the question was phrased. “Technically Korean royalty. My family are a long line of nobles. We’ve had close ties to the Bangs since forever. We’re only sealing the deal now because I have siblings that will marry others.” Minho explained, leaning against Chan happily. Chan chuckled and kissed his fiance’s forehead.

“We’re getting married a month from now. Father set the date. Funny, because he said he won’t be attending.” Chan tried not to let too much of the venom in his voice seep through, but he failed miserably.

“Wow! Really? Congratulations!” Felix said, smiling. Marriage was the one thing he and his mother disagreed on. She told him marriage was a loveless business transaction, one that just fucks you over for life Felix disagreed. He read so many stories and was friends with so many church members who had nice loving families and still married parents...Felix wanted to be as in love as some of his friend’s parents seemed to be at church.

“Thank you- that does make opening our place up a bit difficult though- since you both can’t live by yourselves with Mr. Bang actively knowing.” Chan said, and Felix looked confused. “Why? We couldn’t be roommates or something?” He asked, and Chan chuckled.

“I wouldn’t trust you two as roommates in a million years, no offense.” Chan responded, Jisung sighing. “A valid point. You wound me still, Christopher Bang.” He said, clutching his chest. Felix giggled at his twin brother’s antics.

“You can’t move out by yourself or as roommates until you’re set up for marriage. Household Bang rules.” Changbin said. “You guys can live with one of us, but not each other.” He explained.

“Oh.” Felix frowned. “Well that seems stupid. What if I want to live in the mountains in Switzerland with my twin?” He asked, hugging Jisung for dear life. Jaehyung had come back with another servant, two empty plates and a platter of cheesecake laid out in front of the two boys.

“Thank you.” Felix smiled and bowed his head politely to Jaehyung.

“It’s either you move in with one of us or he locks you away in some cabin in the countryside until someone courts you.” Chan said, sighing. Felix furrowed his eyebrows together. “All alone?” He asked, frowning. “No way.”

“He’s done it before. It was not pleasant. It was like every month there was some new noble over to try and woo me and Mr. Bang.” Chan said, shuddering slightly. “I think he’s giving you the option of coming with one of us without telling you it’s really an option.” He said, sighing. Felix resisted rolling his eyes.

“Fine. I’ll go with whoever Jisung doesn’t choose so that no one gets too lonely but I want to see Jisung really often okay?” Felix asked, gripping his twin brother tightly, who hugged back just as tight.

“Of course. You two have been pretty much inseparable whenever you’ve had the time to hang out.”

It was very true. Even the two days Felix was trapped in his room, Jisung had snuck in and they played games to pass the time. Also, a stray cat may have been involved, but if so, Felix and Jisung would or would not confirm this fact depending on the evidence presented.

“Why don’t we flip a coin?” Jisung asked. “I don’t want to have to choose between you two. I like you both.” He said, and Minho went through his pockets, sighing. Jaehyung stepped out to provide the boys with a coin, Jisung thanking Felix’s servant. Felix smiled at Jaehyung.

He bit into his cake slice while Chan and Changbin discussed who was who. Changbin was heads, whereas Chan was tails. Jisung was getting impatient and so stuffed his face with cake while he waited for the two to argue over the coin some more, before flipping it aimlessly.

Chan watched it intensely while Changbin looked like he could care less. It was almost in slow motion that it flipped in mid air before slowly falling back down, Jisung slamming it on the table surface. He uncovered the coin, all the brother’s breaths held.

“Tails.” Felix said out loud.

It meant Jisung would move out with Chan and Minho this week. So Felix had a month until he could move out with Changbin. And attend the wedding. And do the performance event.

“Wow, so much shit is gonna happen collectively in one week, how do people get away with this shitty scheduling?” Felix commented, rubbing his temples.

Chan laughed. “No- everyone is just trying to get the last of autumn events out of the way before winter hits.” He explained, and Felix blinked. Oh yeah, up here it was almost winter, not summer.

“Wild.” He commented, sighing.

“I hope Jeongin is nice.” Changbin murmured. The sudden seemed super sudden. They had already moved on from the topic. He must’ve been nervous just thinking about it.

“I’m sure he’s lovely.” Felix said, smiling brightly. “And if he’s not, I know martial arts okay? I’ll beat him up for you, just tell me if he’s being nasty yeah?” He said, and Changbin looked startled, but nodded. “Uh...okay.” Changbin was a very closed off person. He really only seemed close to Chan, but even that was fickle. In the month Felix had been here, Changbin went from being an asshole to him to sometimes staring at him for a hot minute and then moving on. There was something about it that irritated Felix to no end, but he tried to ignore it.

After all, Changbin was the only other brother who had been sort of close to mom. He should try to build a relationship with him, right? And now they were moving in together in a month.

He finished the slice of cake, sighing.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed guys. I’m really tired.” Jisung said, his plate having long since been finished.

“Goodnight twin!” Felix hugged Jisung happily as the other got up, going to hug his other brothers and Minho as well.

“See you guys tomorrow.” He said, smiling before heading out.

“Minho and I should get going as well. It’s awfully late and I’d like to prevent having to drive any later out here.” Chan said slowly standing. Felix and Changbin got up with him, knowing they wouldn’t really talk a lot by themselves. They saw Minho and Chan out of the library, Felix dismissing Jaehyung for the day after the man and another servant took back the remains of the cake and plates.

Soon it was just Felix and Changbin in the hall.

“Well, I should get going-”

“Can you read to me?” Changbin blurted.

Felix was caught off guard.

“What?” He asked, turning back around.

“It’s nothing- uh- never mind.” Changbin said, looking embarrassed as he scratched the back of his neck. He was already starting to leave. Felix didn’t want to make it even more awkward.

“No wait-” He said, hopping Changbin would pause in his step. He was retreating quickly.

“Changbin! I’ll read to you if you want.” He called out, and Changbin halted. He turned around, looking embarrassed. A small blush was spread across his cheeks. “Yeah?” He asked, clearing his throat awkwardly. Felix smiled. Changbin’s awkwardness was almost cute.

“Yeah. Sure. Your room or mine?” He asked.

Soon, he’s in Changbin’s room, his elder brother’s head on his lap as he played with Changbin’s hair in one hand, the book in another. Changbin had been listening closely while clutching a stuffed munchlax (he had threatened Felix if the other told anyone else about the stuffed animal in his room. With a small laugh and the motion of pretending to zip up his lips and throw away the key, he agreed to keep Changbin’s secret).

He liked how Changbin voiced his complaints about some of the character’s questionable decisions, but only during intervals. He waited until the chapter ended to voice his thoughts, and the way he phrased them- Felix was willing to have a discussion with him- a short one, but a discussion. Changbin was progressively getting sleepier as Felix continued to read, but still occasionally commented, to which Felix would laugh at Changbin’s sometimes nonsensical sentences, shifting to make sure Changbin was comfortable. Changbin was also becoming more open with Felix, and went from short, one sentence judgments about the story to talking almost animatedly whenever he had something to say. It was nice. Felix thought it was funny.

Felix sometimes caught his brother with his eyes closed, looking at peace. Euphoric almost. Like he was remembering something. Felix wanted to ask him what, but didn’t dare. This was the most Changbin had ever talked to him. He’d take what he could get.

“...of course, Alexandra had realized her mistake as she stood in the empty cabin, feet planted firmly against the ground. She’s not sure how she missed it. It hadn’t been the deranged scientist that once once married to her mother that took her sister away from her. No. It had been the very woman who gave birth to the two girls herself. She’d find Jordan. If it was the only thing she could do left.” Felix finished the 12th chapter of a random mystery book Changbin had chosen.

However, this time, Changbin had no interjecting comments despite the fact that he had been suspecting the mom for a long time now. Felix looked down to see Changbin fast asleep. Silently, and carefully, he bookmarked where he left off, setting the book down on the bedside table. He slowly moved Changbin’s head so that he was resting against the pillows. He brought the covers up to Changbin’s chest, making sure he was warm while he slept. Changbin shifted, waking up slightly as Felix was getting up from the bed.

He clumsily grabbed Felix’s wrist, Felix jumping out of surprise.

“Mom.”

It was one word, barely muttered, and it made Felix freeze in place. He turned back around, sitting on the side of the bed, slowly detaching Changbin’s arm from his own.

“I’m not mom, Changbin.” He whispered, looking up at the ceiling as his voice wavered.

“You remind me so much of her.”

Felix was silent as he slowly left the room, Changbin having fallen back asleep completely as Felix turned off the light and left. As soon as the door was closed behind him, a single sob had surfaced. His chest constricted and Felix tried hard not to start crying in the middle of the hallway, covering his mouth as he breathed heavily.

He practically ran to his room, accidentally slamming the door in a panic. He didn’t want to cry where anyone could see him. He didn’t want to cry at all.

‘You remind me so much of her.’

Felix hadn’t heard that in almost a month. The same phrase that people at his church would say to him in passing. A similar phrase.

‘You look so much like your mother!’

‘You’re so carefree, just like her.’

‘You’re just like your mother Lee, that’s a good thing.’

Felix slid to the ground, mouth still covered as he tried to stop oncoming sobs from fully leaving his body, heaving heavily as his voice shook and tears spilt anyways. It felt awful, whatever he was going through. His throat and chest were tight and he couldn’t stop himself from crying out, giving up on covering his mouth as he crawled to the nearest chair just to cry in it’s seat cushion.

He looked a lot like his mom. Almost identical to her. Her freckles were more spread around on her arms and legs and less on her face, but she was so young looking. People thought they were siblings before they thought Felix was her son. They acted alike. They both were in love with Australia. They were both carefree and not ones to worry. They cared only about being in the moment. Not about the future, and certainly not about the past.

Now, the exact features and traits people used to tell him were good were now being described as disgusting for even being associated with his mother. Felix hated it.

But Changbin- Changbin obviously must’ve not thought the same way as their dad, right? Because he asked Felix to come in and read to him right?

Felix’s thoughts became a mess of muddled emotion as he sobbed with his head on the seat of the chair, soon falling asleep from exhaustion.

“What?”

Felix couldn’t believe the words he was hearing.

“I said, you cannot mention Sanghee Bang again. Ever.”

“No.”

Felix’s answer to his father’s order was immediate. His father narrowed his eyes. He didn’t like being challenged. Felix didn’t like being told what to do. Maybe this was a little too bold, to have this argument during lunch, in front of Jisung and Changbin, but Felix was not about to denounce his mother completely.

“Do you really want to do that boy? I’d think about your actions very carefully.” His father seethed. Felix remembers the first time they got into an argument. Felix had been locked in his room for two days as a result. And it was a horrible thing, but Felix would do it again if it meant he didn’t have to follow this stupid fucking rule.

“Her name was legally Hayoon Lee. She changed it after she moved.” Felix said back. “And I’m not going to forget my own mother just because you dislike her.” He spat. This was the first time in a while he had been truly angry with anyone. Yeah, foster care was stressful, but he hadn’t been upset. Not even the first time he fought his father. Just sad then.

No, he was truly angry now.

“Boy, if you knew the ruin your mother brought this family you’d shut your stupid mouth.” His father snapped. “She’s a whore. And now she’s dead. She won’t be mentioned anymore.” He said, and Felix scoffed, unable to believe what he just heard.

“What the hell did you call her?”

“Felix, please-”

It was Jisung that spoke this time, but Felix wasn’t listening.

“My mother is not a whore, you’re just an asshole. No wonder she wanted to fucking leave. You’re so...so fucking restricting! And unbearable!” Felix shouted. Something snapped inside his father and he got out of his seat. Felix didn’t see him travel from one end of the table to the other, he was so fast. It was a long table too. However, what he did see, and feel, was the harsh slap that connected with his cheek. Felix was caught off guard and fell to the ground, jaw slack in shock. Changbin and Jisung didn’t dare move, despite the fact that it was obvious they wanted to help Felix up. Or to help Felix at all.

“Her name.” his father spat, literally spitting on Felix in the process, “Is Bang Sanghee. And Yours,”

He grabbed Felix roughly by his collar, Felix struggling to push away from his father.

“Is Bang Yongbok. Do you got that boy?” His father seethed. For a king, Bang was impressively fucked up. Impressively. Felix could never imagine his mother marrying such a man.

“Fuck you.” He spat back, looking his father dead in the eyes.

His father pushed him down so that he hit the ground again, scoffing. He didn’t even bother to look at his son.

“Take him back to his room. He didn’t learn in two days, let’s see how long a week does him in.” King Bang said, Felix’s face becoming one of shock. “What? You can’t-”

“Yes I can.” His voice was stoic. Cold.

Jaehyung moved forward to help the prince on his feet, Felix not being given another minute to really register what was happening as he was literally picked up and carried out of the room. He felt limp. Changbin and Jisung both looked after him, worried. They wanted to go to him badly.

Felix was silent the entire trip to his room, Jaehyung setting him down on his bed carefully. The tears came, and Jaehyung looked to the royal teenager awkwardly, unsure of what to do.

“Your highness, please don’t cry.” His wording was awkward at best. He was trying.

“What else am I supposed to do?” Felix frustratedly spat. “Calm myself down by talking to one of my brother’s about my mother? Oh wait- I can’t. It’s fucking banned.” He said, sniffing. He closed his eyes. He hated it when other people saw him cry.

“Your highness, please. I’m sure the king will be more lenient, he simply acted in anger.” Jaehyung tried to reason to get the boy to calm down, but Felix wasn’t having it.

“Yeah, except he always acts in anger around me. He doesn’t like me very much.” Felix commented, sniffing. Jaehyung didn’t say anything to that.

“I’m sorry, your highness. I should’ve acted once there was a physical altercation.” Jaehyung honestly apologized and Felix chuckled, deadass forgetting the other was technically also his bodyguard. But he was on his dad’s payroll.

“Nah, it makes sense. Don’t worry.” Felix said, wiping away his own tears.

“I’ll be back later to bring you small snacks, your highness.” Jaehyung said. Felix smiled. “Really?” Usually, he was only allowed water, coffee, and some juices. Or well, that’s what he was allowed last time. But that was also only forty-eight hours. Felix was now stuck in his room for an entire week. When Jaehyung left he heard the lock click and sighed. He looked out the window, seeing the main building that had the dining room and library. Felix would hate not having access to the library.

He laid back on his bed, groaning as he looked up to the ceiling.

Here marks the start of his week in hell.

At least he had a phone. And his reading material.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *no lee felix's were harmed in the making of this chapter lmao
> 
> there's another timeskip for next chapter, and then after that I think i'll be calming down with timeskips but im not sure lol everything I have planned is very out of order right now


	3. a red streak in a violent white storm,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He then noticed the lack of any staff in the room.
> 
> “Did...d-did you drug me?” He managed to get out, words slurred as he had trouble keeping his eyes open.
> 
> He didn’t hear the answer because he proceeded to pass out on the dining room floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> absolutely no one:  
> me, listening to Merry Go Round of Life (Howl's moving castle theme) on repeat while I write every single chapter of this book:
> 
> oh and then later i started listening to daddy issues by the neighborhood because it was fitting lolol
> 
> On that note tho it is a *very* good song and yall should listen to it bc it gives this fic vibes (both songs)
> 
> TW//physical abuse, attempted harrasment  
> btw Yugyeom is not an asshole in real life ok i just didn't want to make up an oc for this on the spot soz

The first two days of being trapped in his room flew by for Bang Yongbok. It had happened before, he had ended up here before, this was nothing new. Coffee and water? Ha. Once, Felix had survived finals week on nothing but energy drinks. Not an exaggeration. He was sick like, immediately after, but he still did it.

So this coffee bullshit? Weak on the King’s part.

He had checked his totally not snuck in phone, exchanging messages with some of his Australian friends, and listened to some music. He practiced writing and reading, in both English and Korean. The first day someone had slipped a note under his door, and when he opened it, it was a cute little doodle in calligraphy ink. It was a little chicken, squawking at a little chibi version of Felix. He laughed when he received it, crawling over to his desk and taking out the novel he was currently reading, opening it to the front few pages, where he refolded the drawing and slipped it into the book, before closing and putting it back.

Not too long later, Jaehyung came around with some snacks, silently sneaking them in for Felix so that he wouldn’t totally suffer. Felix thanked him before eagerly digging into the fruit and yogurt that must’ve been quickly whipped together for him.

Two days went by in a flash.

The third day hit, and he stayed in bed. Oversleeping, maybe the lack of food starting to settle in, all of the above? Whatever the reason he stayed in bed, only being actively out of his bed for around four hours. He settled for chugging coffee, but it seemed to only make his bedhead state worse. He was also shaking every time he woke up, and he was sure that the fruit and yogurt being the only thing he’s eaten in a couple of days now had something to do with it. He was perfectly content to sleep through the day, but maybe that was because he was too tired to really care.

The fourth day started off similar to the third, but Felix woke up halfway through because, believe it or not, he was too hungry to sleep. He tried to combat this by drinking a lot of water, but making sure not to drink too much. It did close to nothing. Goddamn it. Curse his father for being such a shit head. At least he was hydrated. He read for a little before going back to sleep, being too bothered by his body shaking to want to be awake.

The Fifth day, Jisung visited him.

“They’re moving the wedding up?” Felix asked, wide eyed. Jisung nodded in reply. “And everyone decided that the performance events are going to be pushed back to winter time, so that they could merge it with a gala that was already planned.” Jisung said, and Felix looked surprised. Good news was, he had more time to prepare.

"Hey, you look exhausted. When's the last time you ate?" Jisung asked, worried for his twin brother like he wasn't half hanging out of the bedroom window.

"Uh...two days in. I don't know today's date." Felix said mindlessly, leaning against the wall and letting his eyes close. Even by standing here, talking to Jisung, he could still get some rest. Jisung scrunched his nose.

"I'll bring you dinner and lunch tomorrow okay? Hang in there. Stay hydrated." Jisung said before hoping out of the window, blowing his little brother a kiss. Felix waved before letting his body slide to the floor. He's gonna take a nap on the floor today, lads. That's what's happening.

The sixth day, his body surpassed being exhausted while doing nothing and was now entering "doing everything while doing nothing" stage. He showered a second time that day alone just to re wash his hair, wondering if he should dye his hair with the ink provided for his pens. It could be a fun project. Or it could get him in even more trouble. Yeah, he'll wait on that one. He ended up finishing the book he was halfway through at the beginning of the week, pretending he was a character in the story so that he had an excuse to dramatically flop on his bed for thirty minutes before he fell asleep again.

The seventh day, his father visited.

Two body guards, although there was virtually no reason for them. Even if Felix did have the energy to attack his dad, he was physically too weak. He sat up in his bed, pajamas hanging loosely off of his figure, hair very messy. He had only bothered to do it yesterday, really, and passed out halfway through having it air dry.

His dad didn’t greet him. He didn’t smile at him kindly.

The question was simple.

“What’s the new rule of the household?”

Felix looked out the window. Man, he kind of wanted to go outside. Oh well.

“You know, mom liked to greet me in the mornings with a hi. Like, ‘Hey sweetie, how was your morning?’” He didn’t look at his dad. He didn’t feel like it. His voice was slightly raspy from the lack of usage over the week. He continued anyway.

“Except I’d tell you my morning was fucking horrible because I’d been stuck in my room all week.” He said, sounding suddenly very upset. Man, no food in one room for a week was doing shit to his system.

“I’d also tell you to go fuck yourself, but I’m pretty sure I said something similar last time we talked.” He said, feeling the sting against his cheek again. It really hurt. He wouldn’t budge on this rule though. Not if it was the last thing he did. Maybe he shouldn’t be acting in anger so much. It wasn’t healthy. But being around his dad made him? So angry.

“Learn how to talk to your father, boy.” His father seethed, grabbing him by his shirt Felix’s body going limp in the cloth item as he let his dad drag him up. “More importantly, learn how to talk to royalty.”

_That_ hurt. That was more than a sting. It took Felix a moment to realize that he had yelled out, and another moment for him to realize that the area around his eye would probably bruise. Yikes. So close to the wedding too.

“Do you hear me?” His father growled, close to Felix’s ear.

“Did you say something?” Felix retorted, face twisting into that of a smile. He started laughing in his father’s face.

“You’ll be lucky to be out by the time it’s your brother’s wedding.” King Bang said, throwing Felix back on his bed with disgust on his face, turning to leave, waving the two bodyguards in the room to follow him.

Felix couldn’t find himself to care at that moment. Instead he grabbed the nearest pillow and wiggled back under the blankets, falling asleep. His eye hurt now, and he knew it would hurt more later. He didn’t really care. He let the darkness take him, planning on sleeping out whatever additional days he just earned himself while locked in his room.

Chan and Minho’s wedding was...well, wonderful. Felix was surprised he was even allowed to come, but Chan had apparently insisted on it, and ironically enough, his father agreed to ‘avoid conflict’. So here Felix was, in a dark gray suit, wearing sunglasses, the last in line of Chan’s groomsmen, which just literally consisted of his brothers and a guy from Thailand that seemed really nice.

Chan wore all white, as did Minho, the two in matching suits. Apparently Minho wanted to see Chan in a dress, and Chan argued that if they had a dress it would’ve been Minho wearing it. Minho agreed, and Chan panicked last minute, telling his fiance (at the time) that his father was gonna be there. All of this juicy gossip you ask? Came from Jisung, who had been living with them for the past two days already. According to Jisung it was boring. All they did was play with their cats, and be lovey dovey.

(“Well, what were you expecting?” Felix had asked, raising an eyebrow and laughing.

“I don’t know. Maybe like, Chan secretly joining the mafia or something? Ooh, that’d be cool. Imagine mafia royalty, but like also actual royalty. Ooh, I could write a book about that.” Jisung seemed to get excited at the prospect of writing a story like that. Felix snorted.

“You should! I’ll be your number one cheerleader.” Felix had replied.)

And now, here were two people Felix really wished he had known growing up, getting married. Putting the rings on right in front of him. God, he’s not crying, you’re crying. It’s a little weird to be watching his mentor marry his older brother, but then he remembers that Minho is nobility first, teacher second.

Mayhaps Felix teared up a little after they both said their ‘I do’s and kissed. They loved each other.

Somewhere, in the very back of Felix’s mind, his mother’s voice was telling him that love is a scam, and marriage is worthless.

Felix wanted to get married.

Man, reception parties are awkward when you don’t know anyone except your brothers and your brothers are drunk as fuck.

The one good thing was that King Bang left when the reception started, not being one to party. Felix, for a few hours, had freedom.

He was spending said freedom stuffing his face with the buffet table.

What can he say? It’s been a hot minute since he’s had more than one meal in a day.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

Felix knew it was Changbin. He and Changbin hadn’t talked much recently, well, Felix hadn’t talked to ANYONE much recently- but it couldn’t hurt to talk to them now, right?

“Chan’s having a lot of fun.”

“Yeah.”

Curse him, he forgot how awkward both he and Changbin were.

“Why are you still wearing sunglasses? It’s almost completely dark out.” Changbin said, squinting at Felix. Changbin had a very good point. Felix could barely see anything at this point, and was managing by bumping against the table and remembering where his favourite desserts of the night were.

“Oh...you know.” Felix unhelpfully supplied. 

Yeah, you know. His dad punched him in the face. Nothing special.

“No, I don’t know.”

“Had an eye doctor appointment- my eyes are still really sensitive.” He lied.

Changbin sighed and grabbed his wrist, Felix just barely saving his plate of desserts before it almost went crashing, surprised when he himself was pushed into the wall. At least the donut on his plate was okay.

His glasses were removed when he was distracted, and, panicked, he looked up.

“Hey!” He shouted, raising his free hand to cover his eye.

“Oh Yongbok…” Changbin looked...worried? That’s new.

Felix slowly lowered his hand. He didn’t know why.

“You should be more careful. Even if you don’t like the rules.” Changbin said, unmoving. “Just defy them when he’s not looking. It’s easy. Simple. You won’t get hurt that way.”

Was he trying to show he cared?

“He called mom a whore.”

Changbin flinched.

“Yeah, but defending her name shouldn’t go as far as you getting physically injured. Felix...she’s dead. You’re not.”

Felix frowned.

A silence fell between the two.

“Do you think it’s because I look like her?” Felix asked quietly. He had the fear grow in the back of his head. Maybe his father couldn’t stand the thought of him because he looked too much like her. Changbin scoffed.

“It’s not just that, you act like her. From the nobles and relatives I talked to that know her, she adjusted to the royal life fine, she was good at very specific things. Hated father though, couldn’t stand him.” Changbin said. Felix sighed.

“There’s nothing wrong with it Lix.” Changbin said. Felix smiled at the nickname of his Australian name. The one he liked more. That was considerate.

“It just means you gotta find away around all his stupid rules, yeah? It’s a throw the middle finger when they’re not looking type of thing. Be discrete.” Changbin said, and Felix chuckled. “Okay. I can do that.” He said, humming slightly.

“Good. Now please for the love of god, do not eat all of Chan and Minho’s desserts that are out for the guests.” Changbin said, chuckling at the way Felix looked all too eager to devour the donut on his plate. Felix scrunched his nose in distaste.

“Hey guys- whatcha doing?” Jisung popped up, and in panic, Felix looked away from him, not wanting him to see the bruise. Changbin seemed to catch on because he expertly slid Felix’s sunglasses back on for him.

“Sorry, I was just helping Felix with something. He had an eye appointment earlier and his eyes are really sensitive to light. He wanted to see if he could take them off yet.” Changbin said, sighing. Jisung pouted. “Eye appointments are the worst. But come in at a close second to dentist appointments, because nothing is worse than not being able to feel your mouth and nose.” Jisung said, scrunching his nose in distaste thinking about it.

“C’mon. Chan wants to take some pictures.” Jisung said, nodding them back with him. Felix nodded. “Can I eat the donut first?” He asked, pouting.

“Yeah, if you shoved it down your throat.” Jisung said snickering, not expecting Felix to do just that.

He did just that.

It was late by the time they got back. Felix was exhausted, just like Changbin. The two were leaning on each other as they crossed the paths outside to the divide that led to their rooms separately.

Felix yawned.

“I guess this is where we part ways.” He said, ready to give his brother a hug and pass the fuck out.

“We could always have a sleepover. Ensure dad won’t argue with you in the morning and I’ll have a cuddle buddy.” Changbin suddenly suggested, and Felix paused. Changbin liked being cuddled??

Changbin paused as he seemed to realize what he said, shaking his head. “No- I meant-”

“Cuddling sounds great Binnie!~” Felix slung his arms over Changbin’s shoulders, latching onto the shorter man. Changbin grumbled, nonchalantly picking up Felix’s legs so that he was giving the younger a piggyback ride.

“Speak of this to no one.” Changbin murmured.

“Of course not binnie. I love you too much to expose you like that.”

“At first I thought you were too nice to be Jisung’s twin but now it all makes sense.”

Felix laughed as he said that, snuggling so that he was comfortably carried by the other.

If minutes later, he stole a pair of Changbin’s pjs so that he could koala hug him while they slept, the two both spoke nothing of it.

When Felix woke up the next morning, he felt something was very wrong. His brother was still passed out, and his father wasn’t even home. Jisung was here as well, a look into his brother’s room’s window confirmed that. Felix didn’t know what it was.

It ate at him all day. During breakfast Changbina and Jisung noticed, but Felix brushed it off, not wanting to scare them too much.

During his morning lessons with Minho he was having a hard time focusing, unsure of what the problem was. Minho noticed, and he was lucky, because Minho went easy on him that day. Felix felt bad for taking up his time right before his honeymoon anyways.

It wasn’t until evening that the feeling got worse.

Changbin was going to be eating dinner by himself, as he felt ill that day. Jisung never joined them during dinner, as he preferred being in the library anyways. And he was moving with Minho and Chan very soon.

Felix felt something in his gut screaming at him that this dinner was going to go horribly. His instinct told him to run. Lee Felix was not a man who listened to his instinct, and sadly, neither was Bang Yongbok.

He entered the dining room. No Minho either. Damn. He rarely joined during dinners, but Felix was hoping that by some stroke of luck he would be joining this one. It seems, that Felix is not a very lucky person.

On one end of the table, his father.

On the other end, an empty glass, and an untouched bowl.

Felix slowly sat down, his anxiety rising.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” He asked, trying to remain calm. He couldn’t really explain why he was freaking out so much.

“Chicken.” King Bang said. “Chicken and spinach.”

“Chicken?”

“Yes, is that a problem?”

Tension.

“Not at all, no.”

The food was placed in front of Felix, the young man waiting for his dad to start eating, raising his utensils when his dad took a bite.

Felix sipped some of his water before digging into the chicken himself, cutting it up into small pieces so that he could eat it with the spinach and rice in his bowl. It was good. A very simple meal, but a good kind of simple. Felix hadn’t even noticed how far he got until he was starting to feel dizzy. Like really dizzy. He set his bowl down, and took another sip of his water, clearing his throat.

“I’m uh...not feeling too well.” He said out loud, slowly rising from his chair. This wasn’t the best decision. It made it worse, and his vision was starting to spot. He tripped over himself, falling down on his side as his limbs started to feel heavy.

He was so so tired.

He then noticed the lack of any staff in the room.

“Did...d-did you drug me?” He managed to get out, words slurred as he had trouble keeping his eyes open.

He didn’t hear the answer because he proceeded to pass out on the dining room floor.

Felix felt like none of this was real. He and Chan had joked about it in passing, sure, but the fact that his father actually fucking locked him away in some random house in the woods was a weird concept to grasp. It also really hurt.

Okay, it wasn't some random house. It was big- maybe the size of a floor of his old apartment building in Australia? But it still made up only about 1/4th of his father's house, which was terrifying to think about.

Felix was still trying to get over the fact that his father actually fucking drugged him to get him here when he was sleeping. Who the fuck does that!?!? Is that not literal abuse? 

Well, actually, Felix isn't physically harmed, and emotional abuse isn't really something valid in South Korea, so no, Felix supposed it isn't technically abuse, but it's still fucked up.

Jaehyung had no idea. He thought he was taking Felix here because Felix had requested it himself. He thought Felix was simply tired when he carried him inside because of the fact that for a week and a half he had been doing practically nothing beforehand.

It wasn't until Felix woke up and started running outside screaming that Jaehyung realized what was happening. But,, once again it's something above his pay grade. He could really only hold Felix back onto the property as Felix was on the verge of tears kicking and screaming. Good news was that unlike Chan, it only took Felix around 40 minutes to fully grasp his situation and give up. At least he was just crying now, instead of actively trying to leave.

He was just tired. He couldn’t really conceptualize it. What kind of asshole drugs their kid just for disagreeing with them? What the hell did his mother do for him to deserve this? He was exhausted as he stood out in the gardens of the new property, birds chirping and wind rustling through the nearby bushes in trees. It was so calm.

It was ironic.

And so, like two months ago, Felix's new routine started. He quickly adapted- ish. Minho was no longer his tutor for Korean, as he now knew Korean well enough to read it. There was no point for a Korean tutor if he could read it, right? Staff was completely rehired except for Jaehyung. His new tutors were nice at least. Out of all of the tutors that had come and gone (he fought with a lot of them on very simple subjects), he had settled on two he liked a lot. Their names were Kim Seungmin and Hwang Hyunjin. Both were his age. Both studied in Russia for a while. Hyunjin also knew Mandarin, and so, Felix ended up learning both languages. It wasn’t the worst thing on earth. Felix ended up simply memorizing mandarin characters and learning the grammar through sentences he read when trying to perfect his tones. He continued learning to play the Bipa, although that was the one class he pretty much stopped giving a fuck about. What was he gonna do, woo some suitors with his amazing bipa skills? At least if he ran away he could speak three other languages conversationally. The fuck was the bipa gonna do for him?

The house, with all it’s nice decorations, riches, library, and garden, was a prison. Just a well covered one.

On a seperate note, Seungmin was cute. Since Hyunjin basically had taken Minho’s place and also helped him read, Seungmin was in charge of Felix’s musical classes as well as any other subject that a normal student would have learnt at Felix’s age. The two often helped Felix when he expressed needing it, and Felix felt like they were more friends than mentors.

Seungmin specifically, was Felix’s favorite out of all the staff. Not that he’s choosing and picking favorites, no. At first, it was that kind of crush where you aren’t crushing on the person, but rather how well they do something. For Seungmin, it was his job. Felix wished he could sit still for nearly as long as Seungmin could when studying something, but it was proving to be a difficult task.

Then, it slowly...blossomed? The first two weeks Seungmin and Hyunjin had come to the house (a little under a week after Felix himself was trapped there), they simply opted for just teaching Felix, not bothering to get to know him. Felix, however, was a very adamant and stubborn individual, who was unimpressed and practically forced them to get to know him. Not in a rude way, he just kept talking to them during breaks or asked them to join him on whatever hobby he was currently obsessed with at that point.

The first two weeks Seungmin and Hyunjin lived there, Felix was simply looking for friends. That’s all he wanted.

But after those first two weeks, he focused on Seungmin. He didn’t forget Hyunjin existed, oh no, he was very good friends with Hyunjin, the two connecting almost instantly. He was just more preoccupied with having Seungmin focus on him. Whether it was sitting so that he was next to Seungmin comfortably, and the other reading over his shoulder to check his work, or Seungmin carefully rearranging Felix’s fingers when he played the Bipa, Felix liked to look at Seungmin when he was helping Felix.

Now, in the library Felix sat, comfortably leaning against a bookshelf as he had a book open. It was in chinese, which was giving him a hard time because he wasn’t the best with mandarin yet, but he was trying, and it’s the thought that counts. He got a few sentences in the next chapter before giving up, deciding that straining his eyes like this were giving him a headache. He squeezes his eyes shut, sighing as his head throbbed. Stupid headaches.

“Are you alright, your highness?”

Felix opened his eyes and turned towards the voice, immediately smiling.

“I’m fine Seungmin. Thank you for asking.” He said, closing the book. That’s enough reading for him. Time to act like a middle schooler with a crush.

“Of course your highness. I just came to put these books back on the shelf.” Seungmin said with a smile and small bow, moving past Felix to the shelf, starting to carefully put the books away. Halfway through, some of the books came crashing down, startling Seungmin.

Felix was there within seconds, picking them up.

“Oh, my prince, I can-”

“No, it’s fine, let me-”

The two boys were fumbling as Felix reached for the books that had fallen at the same time Seungmin did, one of the books that he was still holding having slipped and hit Felix’s head. Seungmin gasped, eyes going wide.

“My prince I am so sorry-”

He was cut off by...laughter? Felix was laughing as he continued to pick up the books, getting back up with his arm full of them, using his free arm to rub his head. “You’re fine Seungmin. It barely hurt. See? No bruise.” He said, turning so that the other could see his head. Seungmin looked relieved, but also concerned at the prince’s reaction.

“Are you sure? You laughed sir- should I take you to Jaehyung to get checked out?” He asked, and Felix laughed again as he put the books on the shelf, bending down to get the book that had dropped on his head. “Priest, huh?” He asked, tilting his head and nodding. “I didn’t realize we had this kind of fiction. It’s good.” He put it back on the shelf as well, stretching slightly.

“Priest is a good book my prince, I recommend it.” Seungmin said, bowing his head slightly. Felix grinned. “I’m reading the sequel right now! Hyunjin helped me read the first book- wait does that mean you can read Mandarin?” Felix’s eyes went wide.

“No sir, I read the Korean translation.” He said, shaking his head. Felix nodded. “Ah...of course. It’s a really popular book.” He said, a small awkward silence threatening to fall over them.

“Seungmin, do you think later today we could have one of my lessons in the gardens? I want to go outside before it gets too cold.” Felix said, tilting his head. He almost looked like a puppy, which was ironic, because out of the two of them, Seungmin was the one that acted like one sometimes.

Seungmin looked out the window. “It seems we can, your majesty. I’ll see what I can do about clearing the tables outside for you to study on, yes?” He asked, Felix beaming and hugging Seungmin. “Thank you!” He said, jumping excitedly in place. Maybe being stuck here wasn’t so bad after all.

Nevermind the fact that it was already very cold outside.

Felix’s playing wasn’t that bad for only around two months of practice. In fact, Seungmin praised him for being able to get so far in most of his studies, music included. Felix’s hands were tiny, so he struggled to reach some notes on the Bipa, but he could play very easy and simple songs, which made him very proud because outside of dancing and having a ridiculously low voice, he doesn’t consider himself that musically talented.

“What are you doing for the upcoming performance event?” Seungmin questioned, and Felix, still focused on playing, only responded with “Am I still even going?”

“When we were hired, Mr. Bang told us it was important you were proficient in either Mandarin or Russian for the event but he never said why. Also, Hyunjin said he’d be seeing you at the event.” Seungmin explained. Felix stopped playing the song they were working on.

“Hyunjin is coming to the event?” He asked, and Seungmin seemed taken off guard. “Why wouldn’t he be going, my prince? He’s Russian nobility.” Seungmin asked, and Felix’s eyes bulged out of his sockets. “Really? I had no idea.” He murmured, a little embarrassed now.

Seungmin laughed. “My prince, he’s performing dance at the event.” Seungmin said. “He’s very good at it. I’ve seen a few videos of his past concerts. He was recommended to tutor you in the past by Jisung because he taught him Mandarin as well.” Felix perked up at that.

“He was recommended? When was this?” Felix asked, wondering if Jisung knew where he was.

“Mmm...definitely around a month and a week ago I think. It’s been awhile. I’m glad Mr. Bang hired him though. It’s easier to get concepts across with him.” Seungmin said. Felix deflated a little. But maybe Jisung and Hyunjin were friends?

“What’s Jisung’s relationship with Hyunjin, do you know?” Felix questioned, and Seungmin was startled by the other’s sudden interest in the topic at hand.

“Uhm...no sir, I do not know. I am aware that they are good friends and Hyunjin visits Jisung often from Russia.” Seungmin said. Felix smiled widely.

“Do you think Hyunjin could message my brother for me? Or that maybe I could call him using Hyunjin’s phone?” He asked, trying hard to not break the Bipa with how hard he was gripping it.

“I’m sure you’d be able to. You don’t have a phone of your own, your majesty?” Seungmin asked.

“I have my old one that only works in Australia and one that doesn’t have a sim card.” Felix said, sighing. “And technically, I’m not supposed to have either. I don’t have my brother’s numbers if they have phones.” He said, frowning.

“Let’s ask Hyunjin then before dinner tonight.” Seungmin suggested, and Felix beamed. “Okay!”

He’d finally be able to contact one of his brothers from this absolute hellhole.

Later, that evening, Jisung was startled out of his work by his phone buzzing. He looked at the ID of whoever texted him. It was...Hyunjin. A smile played on Jisung’s lips as he answered. It’s been awhile since either of them had called each other.

“*Hello.*” Jisung switched to Mandarin. Hyunjin preferred it to Korean.

“*Ah. Hello.*” The voice was unrecognizable for a second, but definitely not Hyunjin.

“Who is this?” Jisung asked, switching back over to Korean. He heard a gasp on the other end of the phone, then a “Jisung! Jisung it’s really you! Oh my gosh.”

Yongbok. Yongbok?

“Yongbok! Hi! How are you? Sorry I haven’t been over to visit with you and Changbin, I’ve been so busy, I’ve barely even seen Chan- wait how are you calling from Hyunjin’s phone?” Jisung was excited, then confused all in one go.

“Jisung what are you talking about? I’m not with Changbin. I’m not even at father’s house anymore.” Felix said, confusion evident in his voice. Jisung was confused as well. “What? What do you mean? Father told us you moved with Changbin. Wasn’t that the plan? You were supposed to move in with Changbin in a few weeks, and I already have with Chan.” He said, scared. Was Felix running away? Did he and Hyunjin fly off to Russia or something together?

“Yeah, that never happened. The jerk fucking drugged me. Didn’t you guys notice? Surely Changbin must’ve because I wasn’t there.” Felix answered, anger obvious in his voice. Jisung’s mouth hung open in shock. “Hold on a minute.” He told Felix, rushing out into the hall.

“Chan!” He called, covering the microphone portion of his phone, not wanting Felix to hear him directly scream in his ears.

“Chan!” Jisung called out again.

“Jisung? Is everything alright?” Chan called out. He was in his office. Jisung practically burst in, still with Felix on the phone.

“Call Changbin right now.” He said, voice urgent.

“Is everything alright?” Chan questioned as he called Changbin, phone ringing a few times before Changbin picked up.

“Hello? Bang Changbin speaking.”

“Hey Changbin, sorry to intrude on whatever you were doing, Jisung told me to call you but didn’t tell me why. It’s urgent though.” Chan said, looking to Jisung for incentive on where to go from here.

“Hey, Binnie? Where’s Yongbok?” Jisung asked, Chan tilting his head.

“What do you mean where’s Yongbok?” Changbin asked, scoffing. “He moved in with you guys, didn’t he? Go ask him yourself. Did he run away or something?” He asked, voice sounding unbothered through the phone. Chan looked confused.

“What do you mean he moved in with us? He stayed at home, didn’t he?” Chan asked, looking to Jisung for an explanation.

“Y’all! I am not at the house! I repeat! I am not at the house! I am at some equally old house in the middle of the woods! I couldn’t call anyone!” Felix yelled, trying to get Jisung’s attention again.

“Yeah, we just figured that bit out. You’re at a house in the middle of the woods?” Jisung asked, and Felix was glad someone was finally listening to him.

“Yes! I’ve been here for AT LEAST three weeks, how have you idiots not noticed until now?” Felix sounded exasperated. Understandably so. His sense of time was so skewed, poor baby.

“We’ve been swamped with work and royal tasks, I’m sorry Yongbokkie.” Jisung immediately apologized. “The last time any of us were this busy was when…” Jisung trailed off and his eyes widened. “...was when Chan was taken to get married.” He said, eyes widening.

“Yongbok, you said he drugged you?” Jisung asked, remembering the other’s earlier words.

“What?” Chan’s eyes narrowed.

“Yeah- during dinner- it was cooked into the chicken I think.” Felix’s voice came through the receptor.

“I think we know where you are. I’m coming right now okay?” Jisung said. 

“But it’s already really late?” Felix questioned.

“Yeah but you’ve been living there by yourself with just the staff am I right?” Jisung asked. He was met with silence on the other end of the line. So he was right.

“Has dad come over with anyone yet?” Jisung asked, chewing his lip nervously.

“What? No...No, why would he?” Felix asked, confused.

“To marry you off.” Jisung said, switching ears the phone was on as he left with his coat, giving Chan a silent wave as he left the room.

“Will Yongbok be okay?” Changbin asked through the phone. “Do I need to come to you guys?” Chanbin was obviously panicking. No one knew Chan was away for a long time when he was taken himself by their dad. He’s lucky not all his suitors were absolutely disgusting.

“No, it’s fine, I’m sure Jisung will have it handled.” Chan said, sighing slightly. “Just- I’ll update you on what happens okay?” He said before hanging up, following after Jisung.

“Jisung!”

“What’s going on?” Minho popped his head out of a nearby room. “Yongbok was taken to uh, where we met.” Chan said offhandedly, unsure of how to describe the situation. “Dad didn’t tell any of us.” He said, and Minho looked a lot paler.

It wasn’t specifically the place itself that was bad, it was rather the memories the three brothers had associated with the house in the mountains. It was isolated, and when Chan was there, Jisung and Changbin had to find him theirselves. Their father was rarely abusive if Chan looked it up by it’s actual definition of physical abuse, but he had his moments. Chan’s time isolated from his brothers was one of those moments.

Also, Chan hadn’t been fucking drugged, he had just been tricked, and the fact that their father would do that to the youngest of the brothers really pissed Chan off.

But it’s okay. Jisung would be there to see Felix for the first time in over a month.

Felix quickly gave Hyunjin back his phone, thanking him for letting him use it. His goodbyes to his brother were short, but at least Felix would be seeing him soon. With just him, his tutors, Jaehyung, and the other staff that Felix rarely saw, he felt like he was going insane.

He was almost disturbed by how it took his brother only a few minutes to get there...especially when before he mentioned it would take him four hours. He turned around when he heard the front door opening and people talking amongst themselves. What was going on?

He didn’t even have time to question it as he was forced to quickly rise to his feet by Jaehyung, who was urgently getting him to move. Felix followed out of confusion, wondering what was going on so much that he had to leave.

“Jaehyung what-” It was only for a second but as he was pulled down the hall, his two tutors looking panicked and following him and Jaehyung closely, he saw a glimpse of his father and a man Felix did not recognize.

He was rushed quickly to his own room, Jaehyung basically throwing the three in there.

“Jaehyung what’s going on?” Felix panic whispered, unsure of what to do.

“I don’t know I’ll be back in a minute.” He whispered back before closing the door. His footsteps were heard quietly rushing back down the hall. Felix looked back to Hyunjin and Seungmin, completely lost on what to do.

“Is it a guest?” Seungmin asked, whispering still. Felix looked outside. “You’re not dressed for a guest.” Seungmin said, glancing at Hyunjin.

A few minutes later, Jaehyung was back with hopefully, some insight on what was going on.

“It’s a suitor. Prince Yongbok needs to get dressed.” He whispered. He closed the doors behind him, but Hyunjin shook his head.

“Seungmin and I can do it- please go get dinner ready. Seriously- go.” He said, shooing Jaehyung away. The servant looked confused, but at Felix’s hesitant nod, he listened, leaving the room. Seungmin covered the windows and turned the lights on, sighing as he opened Felix’s wardrobe, Felix feeling overwhelmed by the amount of clothes in it.

“Calm down- we’ll find you something.” Hyunjin said, sorting through the wardrobe.

He soon emerged with clothing items Felix didn’t know he owned. He started to get undressed, the other two respectfully looking away as he changed.

“Uh...Hyunjin what order do I put this on in?” He asked, a little confused at the layering.

“The pants go on first, then the cloth, and then we’ll tuck the shirt in.” Hyunjin said, and Felix nodded. Upon realizing the other couldn’t see him, he voiced his appreciation. “Thanks.” He said, Hyunjin giving him a small “No problem”, before Felix started to change. Hyunjin had chosen plain black palazzo pants with a black sheer overskirt. It actually looked pretty good together, and Felix was amazed at the fact he even had a skirt in his closet. Man, he really needs to go through that wardrobe at some point.

He threw on the white blouse, doing the buttons and smoothing out what he could of the collar- knowing Hyunjin and Seungmin would probably fix any mistake he made anyways because he really had no idea how to properly smooth down a peter pan collar. “Okay. I’m dressed.” He said, Seungmin and Hyunjin turning back around.

“Cool. Let’s get socks on. Tuck in your shirt.” Hyunjin instructed, and Felix nodded, tucking his blouse into the waistband of the pants carefully, Hyunjin then pulling out the fabric he deemed necessary until it looked good. The shirt itself was an almost silk like fabric, so it laid on Felix much differently than a regular button up did.

Felix put on the plain black socks Seungmin handed him sighing. He already felt tired out from them rushing around the room to dress up for someone he didn’t even know AND his father. Maybe he should just say fuck it and go out in sweats to piss him off? No, that’d be petty. Felix kind of wants to be petty.

“Whatever you’re thinking of, my prince, no.” Hyunjin said, tying a black ribbon under his collar into a loose bow. Felix pouted. “Damnit, we’ve been spending too long together.” He murmured, sighing. Hyunjin laughed at his reaction. “No, your highness, you just looked like you were about to make an escape through the window.” He said, shaking his head. Felix jokingly scowled, sighing as he sat down, running his fingers through his hair. He slid his watch back on, checking the time.

Seungmin turned the light back off and uncovered the windows, and a silence fell over them. Felix moved from sitting in a chair against his table to sitting on one of the stools placed by his door, anxiously stretching his legs under the large amount of cloth that was his pants. They had been sitting there for an hour and a half. He was starting to fall asleep. If they kept this up, he would just go to bed. The sun had long since set.

“What are you doing for the upcoming performance event?” Seungmin asked, repeating his question from when they were in the garden earlier that day. Felix was almost taken off guard, but was thankful for the distraction. He smiled, turning his attention to Seungmin. He moved his legs so that he was sitting a little more properly (it took Jisung and Changbin an entire three hours for him to get the hang of it because he kept slouching his back), legs together and slightly to the side. His hands were already in his lap, so he just sort of lazily moved them to make it look nicer.

“I’m reading.” He said, head resting against the side of his wardrobe so that he could comfortably look at Seungmin.

“Like, a script? Acting?” Seungmin asked, confused. Felix simply laughed.

“No. Like storytelling. I’ll read a story out to the crowd- a short one of course. I haven’t chosen one yet.” Felix said, voice light. Seungmin nodded in understanding.

“Ah...can you read to me someday, your majesty?” He asked. Felix blushed. He nodded. “Of course I can.” He said, his smile growing slightly wider.

“What do you usually read?” Hyunjin asked, tilting his head curiously.

“mmm...Mystery I guess? Sometimes horror. Recently a lot of crime. I’m thinking of maybe a fantasy story this time though, I kind of want to try something different.” He said, sighing.

“You could look through the library with us later maybe! We can help you find a Russian book to read aloud.” Seungmin said, and Felix nodded, smiling. “Okay.” He said, chuckling. He was happy that the other two were enthusiastic about helping him. He wanted to at least practice a little out loud.

“A fantasy book?” Hyunjin questioned. “There’s not a lot of those in Russian, but I can help you find a crime or mystery book in Russian, and we can look for a fantasy book in Chinese maybe?” Hyunjin suggested, and Felix nodded. “Okay! That sounds good. You’ll have to help me with Mandarin though, I don’t have all the characters memorized that I was supposed to.” Felix said, sighing.

“Of course, my prince.” Hyunjin responded, nodding. “We’ll go over it next lesson.” He said, and Felix nodded. “Alright.” He nodded.

Just then, the door slid open, and Jaehyung was standing in the hallway.

“The young prince is requested in the dining room.” He said, and Felix quickly got up, moving to follow Jaehyung. He felt like the walls of the hallway were closing in on him. He turned into the dining room, to see his father, at the head of the table, already seated, and a man on one side. He was good looking. Although, it seemed like everyone was. He was taller than Felix, black hair styled to look effortless. He wore a white turtleneck under a white button up that was decorated with blue flowers, the shirts tucked into black dress pants. Upon closer look, Felix could see a mole under his right eye. It was pretty. He was pretty.

Felix silently bowed before crossing the room to take his seat from across the stranger, uncomfortable with the amount of eyes on him. If they were talking, or if there was some music going on in the background, Felix might’ve felt more at home. He just felt mildly uncomfortable.

“Prince Bang.” The man stood and bowed as Felix sat down. He was sure the other was older than him- so he must be nobility, or maybe a business owner? Felix gave a small head bow in response, the man sitting down soon after Felix.

“Yongbok.” His father called. He had a smile on his face, which was weird. Not that smiles were weird, no- Felix would be outcast easily (although, at this rate, he already was). His father was not one to smile. “This is Kim Yugyeom.” He said, gesturing to Yugyeom, who, with a pleasant smile on his face, bowed his head again.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Yugyeom said, looking to Felix warmly. Felix smiled back, giving a small nod. “And you.” He murmured, clearing his throat a little awkwardly. Food was served as a silence fell over the three again, Felix eyeing his plate hungrily.

He waited until his father took the first bite, calmly raising his chopsticks with the intent to do the same. He was already stuffing his face when Yugyeom spoke.

“Ah, so, Prince Yongbok, do you have any hobbies?” Yugyeom asked, and Felix forced himself to swallow down his food early, glancing at his dad as he took a sip of his water before answering.

“I uh...read a lot. And I like to dance.” He said a bit awkwardly, unsure of where to go from there. “How about you?” He asked, and Yugyeom seemed to light up at the fact that Felix showed enough interest in the conversation to keep it going.

“I like to dance too, funnily enough.” Yugyeom responded. “What type of dance do you do?” He questioned, tilting his head curiously.

“Ah…” Felix paused again. “Contemporary. I learnt in Australia.” Felix said, smiling. Yugyeom tilted his head. “You studied in Australia?” He asked, looking surprised and impressed. Felix glanced at his father quickly. He wanted to say no. That Australia is where he was born and raised. He knew better. He bit his tongue, smiling back at Yugyeom. “Yes, for a little while.”

A small part of him apologized to his mother.

After dinner, King Bang decided to leave, saying that the two could talk more after dinner. Felix wanted him to because he’s a shit deadbeat father and no amount of money will change that- but Felix also kind of hated the prospect of being left alone with a man he barely knew. Them talking over dinner meant absolutely nothing to him when it came to comfort level. He wanted to go back to his room. Talk to Hyunjin and Seungmin for a little bit.

Instead, he ended up taking a nighttime stroll with Yugyeom through the garden. It was a full moon that night. Felix hadn’t noticed before. He was trying to get his mind off of how Yugyeom insisted they looped arms as they walked, and how he hated trying to keep up with Yugyeom’s long strides.

At some point they headed back inside. Felix was about to nicely insinuate that it was time for Yugyeom to leave, but Yugyeom spoke before he could get the chance to.

“You said over dinner you like to read. Are you a storyteller, prince Yongbok?” Yugyeom asked, and Felix, at a loss of words, dumbly nodded.

“Mmm...really? I like stories. Especially particularly...exciting ones.” Yugyeom said, smirking slightly.

Felix tried his best not to look disgusted at the undertones of what the other was saying, biting back a cruel insult. “Uhm…” he didn’t know what to say instead, moving his head slightly, awkwardly nodding after some time. “Cool...that’s cool.”

“Would you mind reading me something before I go for the night then? Of course, I wouldn’t want to keep you too long, your highness.” Yugyeom said, detaching himself from Felix slightly. Curse Felix for being too nice.

“Of course- let me show you to the library.” Felix said, forcing a smile on his face.

So now, Felix sits on a pillow, his legs tucked under him as he had a book open on his lap. A lamp on the table and the fireplace providing the only light in the room. Yugyeom was next to him, leaning so that he could see the book as well.

He hadn’t read it yet, as Yugyeom had chosen it- but he was a little uncomfortable with the little summary that was provided on the back, and the...well...honestly provocative cover.

“Are you sure you want me to read this to you?” He questioned, looking up from the book to Yugyeom, who tilted his head. “Is there a problem with it?” He asked. Felix didn’t answer immediately, before responding slowly with a “no, it’s fine.”

He wished Hyunjin or Seungmin were here to make this less awkward. But they both were probably either sleeping or about to sleep, and Jaehyung was helping staff clean the house by now. Felix didn’t like the fact that he was alone. He didn’t know how to turn Yugyeom down.

He felt a hand firmly hold his thigh through his clothes. “I can start if you need me to.” Yugyeom said, getting a little too close for comfort. Okay, maybe Felix could drop kick him. Felix silently pushed his hand away, scooting away slightly on his pillow. “No, it’s fine. I can- I can start.” Felix said, stumbling over his words as his brain tried to process that gut feeling that was resurfacing.

He purposely raised the book in front of his face so that he wouldn’t have to stare at Yugyeom. He started reading out loud. His voice was a little louder than usual, and not as steady, but he was still able to get through around three pages until he felt a hand on his leg again. Slightly more up than before.

“I’m not interested.” He said, the sudden voice change startling the other. Yeah, that’s right bitch. Intimidating deep voice. Fucking shoo, rabbit.

“Oh come on, you’re not interested because you can’t see me-”

Yugyeom was cut off by the book Felix had been holding connecting with his face. Felix had basically slammed it into his face. It didn’t hurt, not by a lot, but it did sting.

“What the hell!?” Yugyeom yelled, reaching out to grab Felix, instead grabbing his hair. Felix cried out, instinctively moving away from the other, knocking over the lamp on the table, it falling and breaking. There’s no way no one heard that. Yugyeom pushed Felix against the table, Felix trying to brace himself by grabbing Yugyeom’s arm.

He jabbed Yugyeom in the throat, picking up the book that had fallen into the older’s lap and throwing it at his face again. Yugyeom let go, hands going to his neck as he coughed on air. Felix quickly turned and got up, backing away from Yugyeom.

“Prince Yongbok? Is everything oka-”

“Bokkie! What the fuck!?”

Felix looked up to see Jisung and Jaehyung standing in the library doorway, flinching slightly at the two’s sudden interruption. But also thankful. He would make Jisung cheesecake later as soon as he learned how to.

Jisung looked between Felix and Yugyeom questioningly, worried for his twin brother, pausing to squint at the book. He gasped, tilting his head.

Felix was breathing heavily, trying to fight an oncoming panic attack.

“Yugyeom.” He said, backing away a little further, collapsing into a chair. “I think it’s time you leave.”

Yugyeom didn’t move. Felix continued. “Dinner was nice, the food saved it.” He blinked a couple of times, forcing back just cussing the man out. “...but the rest of the night, there were no snacks to make the ordeal better. Don’t come back.” He finished. He was exhausted.

At that, Yugyeom slowly rose, still rubbing his throat. Yeah, Felix should’ve mentioned he learned martial arts when ‘studying in Australia’ as well. Sucks to suck, he was close to breaking the older man’s pinky.

Jaehyung escorted Yugyeom out, rather violently pushing him to walk faster, not even letting the man recuperate.

“Hey, Prince Yongbok, why is Mr. Kim- your highness! What happened?” Seungmin had been passing by the hall, carrying a book of his own, but he dropped it as he rushed to the prince and his brother.

“Where are all the explicit books?” Felix asked, ignoring Seungmin’s question. Jisung looked confused. “What?” He asked.

“Where are all the explicit books? In the library? What shelf?” He asked, looking directly at Seungmin.

“The...books? Uhm...uhm- oh, I think- on that shelf.” Seungmin pointed to a shelf that seemed around the area that Yugyeom had chosen his book from. Seems about right. Felix got up from the chair, ignoring Seungmin and Jisung’s questioning looks as he picked up the book Yugyeom had chosen, not hesitating to toss it into the fire. He stared at it for a moment, before moving over to the bookcase, eyes looking over the shelves, With these kinds of titles? Yeah, this is definitely straight up erotica. Felix simply glanced at the title before walking over and dumping each, individual book into the fireplace, not stopping until the shelf and a half that contained the entire section of novels was now burning. The flames danced against Felix’s face as he watched the books burn. He didn’t notice that at that point, Jaehyung had returned and Hyunjin had joined them. The four watched the young prince as he stood in front of the fireplace.

A red streak in a violent white storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah fuck king bang no one likes king bang I detest king bang
> 
> I need to give Changbin more plot lmao
> 
> also i cut out like the entire original wedding scene sorry, i just wrote too much for the second half for it to all be one chapter lol


	4. is the prince; Yongbok Bang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ah….I see you like reading too?” Felix asked the man across from him. He didn’t even bother to try and learn the name this time. Jisung was leaning against the wall behind him, watching to see where the conversation would go this time.
> 
> “Ah. Yes. Very much so.” The man gave a polite smile. He seemed harmless. Felix almost felt bad for him. Time to scare him off.
> 
> “I almost broke the nose of the last man that came in here asking to see my library.” Felix said, not batting an eye as he kept smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao i really pulled this one out of my ass even though i have school work
> 
> As im sure you'll notice the writing style of this one was...well, different, and it's different on purpose. Felix's 180 personality change is important later on, I swear I didn't just write this unplanned lmao
> 
> I have so much to do and absolutely no time to do it but im gonna be late to therapy so....lol BYE

“Mom! I’m home!” Felix called, taking his shoes off as he entered the house, closing the door behind him. He had come back late, because a student at school needed tutoring and he was the only person in that class with an A. He checked the time. 6 PM. not that bad.

He dropped his backpack against the wall of the living room, moving from there to the even smaller kitchen, starting his after school routine. “Mom?” He called. She must’ve been working late. It had been all week. Okay, slight revision to his after school routine.

Dinner, TV, greet mom when she comes home, shower, sleep. He saw a 20 dollar bill on the table. He sighed. His mother was working late today. He ordered a pizza and soda, glancing at the clock on the wall. He turned on the tv, flipping through the channels until he found a random movie to watch, not moving to get up until the doorbell was rung.

For around five hours, that was the position Felix was in. Now the pizza box was empty, and he had long since fallen asleep. The tv commercials had started to blend together, and as a result, Felix had fallen asleep.

He woke up almost late for school, his mom’s bedroom door slightly ajar as he heard her soft snores.

“Bye mom.” He whispered before closing the front door, heading off to school again.

There were two things Bang Yongbok could fall into unsettlingly easily:

Routine  
Paranoia.

The second was slower than the first, but it was easy to descend into all the same.

He refused to be left alone unless he was completely alone. If there was a visitor or his dad? Jaehyung there, at least, at all times. Preferably one of his tutors if he could. Even with them, for a few days he couldn’t be, and his studies were halted. It wasn’t that he thought any of the staff were going to do anything, of course not. He was just terrified that something *could* happen, and this very fear is what kept him from sleeping for the first few days after the first suitor had come and gone.

Maybe he’s overreacting.

Maybe he should just calm down.

Get over it.

Felix was working like a well oiled machine. Functioning, but when it’s been doing the same thing over and over again for what feels like years, won’t it start to break down anyways?

He feels like he’s been trying not to completely dive off into the deep end, and right now, the slightest reason he’s being given is sending him over the edge.

Another thing was that he was a lot quieter than he had been before. Like almost completely mute. He didn’t respond unless the question was simple, and even then, if it was a yes or no question he would simply shake his head in response.

“Yongbok...it’s time for your lessons for the day.”

“...” He’d get up, follow Seungmin or Hyunjin, depending on what he had that day, and then go through his lessons, not talking unless he needed to. He learned his instrument, he took notes on what he needed, and he studied just as diligently before. He had nothing to do. There was no reason to change his schedule except for when the staff allowed him to decide it was time to flop on his brother every time the other came to visit. Jisung had reassured him that he was pissed about his situation and that he would do anything to see him get out of it. Felix would just say okay and keep going.

“Yongbok. It’s time for your lessons for the day.”

“...”

Maybe he was overreacting. He didn’t really care about Yugyeom all that much, the other could burn in hell and Felix would watch him and laugh.

Did his dad know how shitty a person Yugyeom was? Did he just not care? Why did he treat Felix so horribly? Was it like this with all his brothers too?

The days started to blend together and Felix felt himself get more and more dissociated from reality. Why would his dad even claim him if he was such shit to him all the time? Felix offered absolutely nothing to the table.

“Bokkie. I was supposed to come get you today- Hyunjin says he wants to do today’s lesson after a walk in the snow. Something about the weather.”

“...Okay.”

The second time someone was invited over to the house without Felix’s permission, he was pissed. He had heard Seungmin and Jisung on the phone, trying to convince the king otherwise. That they had just gotten him to talk now. The king wasn’t hearing it.

Felix ended up in his room, frustratedly looking through his drawers for something- anything that could piss his dad off. A phone, yes, but he didn’t want to get it taken away. He chewed his lips as he looked through everything, forcing back frustrated tears. Anything to make those fuckers go away.

Angrily, he screamed, ripping straight through the canvas that he had finished of fruits and a book during his and Seungmin’s lesson. Hyperventilating, Felix looked at the canvas frame on the ground, and the painting now crumpled up in his hand. He wanted to burn it, but he resisted, knowing he might set his room on fire if he attempted. He slowly exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut as he dropped the painting rather hazardously on the ground. He walked over it and crossed to the window, watching the snowfall as his arms were crossed against his chest.

After a few minutes of silence, a small knock on the door before it was opened.

“Your highness…” there was a small surprised gasp.

“I’m uh...assuming you’ve already heard the news then.”

“As soon as he gets here, send him away. Let him know he’s not welcome here.” Felix said, not tearing his eyes away from the window.

“Your highness…”

“I don’t care. I don’t want him here.” Felix responded, watching the snow calmly fall and layer up.

“You know the king will not allow that.”

“Oh yes, tell me why I should care for his say in something like me being married when he doesn’t actually care about me.” Felix snapped, turning around to see Seungmin. He immediately softened a little, frowning. Seungmin looked a bit like a kicked puppy. Shit.

Felix sighed, sitting on his bed. Hesitantly, Seungmin sat next to him. Ready to comfort.

“Technically he’s your legal guardian.” Sengmin reminded him softly. “I’m sorry, my prince.” He said.

“It’s- no. It’s not your fault.” Felix murmured, sighing. For a moment, a silence hung between them. Felix hugged Seungmin. The other was taken aback at first, but slowly wrapped his arms around Felix. The prince pulled down gently, the two falling back onto his bed. Seungmin let it happen, not wanting to upset Felix, and also not wanting to let go.

“I’m sorry.” Felix whispered after a while, the man staring at his own arm slung over Seungmin’s torso while the other stared up at the ceiling.

“Why would you be sorry my prince?” Seungmin questioned, voice steady. 

“I’m being...clingy.” Felix murmured, content in hearing Seungmin’s breathing.

“No. I don’t think so.” Seungmin murmured, shifting slightly on his side so that they were facing each other.

“You don’t think so?”

“No.”

Silence.

“Can I kiss you?” Felix asked, now making eye contact with Seungmin. They were closer than they were moments ago- or maybe Felix just can’t remember properly. Seungmin’s face was inches from his own.

“Okay.” Seungmin whispered, closing his eyes and leaning in.

Their kiss wasn’t necessarily long, but it wasn’t short either. It was longing, certainly, and Felix was glad the pent up feelings released weren’t just him being thirsty for his tutor.

“My prince-” Seungmin parted slightly for breath, not expecting to really /kiss/ the prince. The reality of the situation set in and Seungmin barely had time to react before Felix was connecting their lips again. Seungmin and Felix both managed to get into a sitting-up position, Felix clutching Seungmin’s shirt in his hands while the other had his hands on Felix’s waist.

They parted again and Felix was slightly out of breath, but also smiling slightly. He then seemed to frown, and Seungmin immediately missed the smile on the young prince’s face.

“It’s- am I going too far? I don’t want to go too far or anything- we should probably stop-” panic gripped Felix’s voice and Seungmin decided having the other look so unhappy was not only heart breaking, but he never wanted to see it on the prince’s face again. “Your highness.” Seungmin said, trying to get the other’s attention. It seemed to work, and Seungmin took the opportunity to peck the other’s lips, Felix looking flustered at the abrupt but sweet action, Seungmin smiling as he very slowly pushed the prince back on the bed, hovering over him slightly. “It’s fine. You’re fine. I’m not going anywhere alright? Not unless you want me to.” Seungmin promised, and Felix honestly resisted the urge to just squeal and kick his feet right then and there. That was a kind of cool moment. Like if he wasn’t already over Felix, Felix would’ve definitely jumped on him. Man- Seungmin would be really good at tiktok P.O.V.s-

He was distracted by another kiss that he melted into, hands leaving his bed sheets and cupping Seungmin’s face before he held the man’s hair, Seungmin moving slightly, undoing the top few buttons of Felix’s shirt.

Felix hated the sudden disappearance of Seungmin’s lips on his, but was soon distracted by the feeling of something wet and soft on his neck. It was weird, at first. Small kisses and then the sucking of skin. Felix just liked having Seungmin physically close to him. It wasn’t until Seungmin had turned more to teeth grazing the skin and working long enough to leave bruises that Felix saw the appeal those smut fics were always talking about.

Man, they really played this sexy shit up. Or maybe Felix is just not used to it so therefore it’s- oh wait. What the fuck? Nevermind this was not played up-

“Seungmin-” Felix gasped, blushing of embarrassment at the sudden reaction to the other reaching his nipples, hands never leaving-

“My prince- OH MY GOD-”

After a small amount of surprised screaming, and a larger amount of chaotic shuffling and questionable amounts of furniture being physically moved, Felix basically slam dunked Seungmin’s face into the bed as he got up, buttoning up his shirt and turning away from Hyunjin. Hyunjin, who, in question, was trying to leave the room but ran straight into the door and fell back, his dramatics causing him to pop his back upon impact with the floor.

“Oh my god! Hyunjin!” Felix rushed to the other, Seungmin soon following with embarrassment, Hyunjin waving off their attempts to help him.

“I’m- gonna- I don’t know, maybe throw myself off a cliff.”

“You’re gonna throw yourself off a cliff? I was trying to recount a fanfic off of wattpad I once read so that I could suck dick just in case.” Felix whined, the words dropping out of his mouth before he realized what he said, cheeks growing red as he slapped his hand over his mouth, Hyunjin choking on air while Seungmin sputtered.

“Nevermind just go throw yourself off the cliff.” Felix murmured, clearing his throat awkwardly, watching Hyunjin make disgusted face after disgusted face. Yeah, he deserved that.

“So- I’m gonna pretend like, I, you know, didn’t just see you sucking face, and uh, I need to get you ready because there’s a visitor coming soon and I’d rather have you prepared before he comes.” Hyunjin said, not making eye contact with anyone before adding a small, hasty, “my prince.”

Felix went from embarrassed greasy teenager to child about to throw a temper tantrum in exactly .5 seconds.

“No! I don’t wanna!” He said in English, not giving Hyunjin or Seungmin time to register the full extent of his words as he ducked out his room doorway, rushing down the hall.

“Prince!” There was a loud frustrated groan and a laugh. Felix refused to be caught with another suitor dead OR alive. Maybe he could break into Hyunjin’s room and find his makeup and dress up like a clown. Scare the man away. He knew his outrageous thinking was something he did to cope with things he dreaded. His mom used to do it. ‘What if I...showed up to my work interview in a tutu?’

Anything to get her son to laugh when he was stressed.

“Your highness!” Felix heard Hyunjin’s voice moving closer and turned a corner, coming face to-

Chest?

He looked up, seeing his bodyguard/servant Jaehyung.

“Ah, my apologies, your highness.” The tall man bowed slightly, nodding at the young prince.

“Your highness!” Hyunjin’s voice was getting louder.

“Prince Yongbok, it seems Lord Hwang requires you?” Jaehyung asked, raising an eyebrow. Felix laughed awkwardly. “Uhm...yeah. It seems he does. Funny, that is.” Felix said, nodding and backing up.

“It was fun talking to you Jaehyung!” He said before turning down another hall, going up a flight of stairs.

“Prince Yong- oh my god!” 

Felix snickered as he heard his tutor’s exasperated yelling, continuing to climb the stairs and opening the door that was at the end.

“Woah.” He murmured as he stood in the doorway.

It was a musty attic. Little light shone through a small window on one side of the room. Felix looked through it to see a slightly higher view of the same mountains and forest he could see from his own room. Pretty.

There was a desk in front of it, although it hadn’t been used in some time.

Scattered around the room were cardboard boxes, two chests, an old wardrobe, and various items splayed around the room. His eyes first landed on a Bipa. It was similar to his. The back and board were both dark wood, and, like his, the tuners were made of the same material, stained a little darker, with white caps. It hadn’t been used in awhile and the strings were almost definitely out of tune. The front was the same wood color, but there was a small painted design crawling up the side. It was a whie silhouette of a tree with flowers, the tip of the flower petals painted red, like they had been dipped in the paint itself. He saw it was leaning against a case, and behind the case, a chest.

He carefully moved it out of the way, setting it on the ground as he turned to the chest. It was...oddly old. Like it reminded him of the 1900s, but couldn’t be much older than that. He popped it open, furrowing his eyebrows as the first thing he saw was a flip phone. The contents of the chest must be newer then.

He rifled through it for a little bit, slowly taking the contents out and becoming more confused as he took them out of the chest. Intricate dresses folded over simple yet nice skirts and skirts and scarves. Man, his mom would wear skirts like these. He rooted through it a little deeper, finding a few letters, some money, and a moderately sized box of items.

Looking through the box he found a book with footnotes in the corners of the pages, and small papers stuffed in-between chapters. It was a book Felix had seen before- one of the more modern copies of Alice and Wonderland. Felix remembers having to read it in 6th grade. His mom hated it. She said that the most made up part of the book was the fact that Alice would be away from her family long enough to fall down a rabbit hole like that.

In retrospect, it made a lot of sense she would say that.

Felix looked even further in the chest. There was some jewelry, a pack of cigarettes, what looked like paintbrushes, more cash (jesus christ how much cash was here?), and a folded picture.

Felix, now entranced by his finds, slowly unfolded the small but thick material, wanting to see the photo. He froze when he saw the picture.

A woman, who looked startling similar to Felix. He recognized her as his mother immediately. Behind her, King Bang. He had his arm on her waist, and he looked happy. In his other arm, he was holding a child that looked like he was almost a toddler, wearing a tiny button up and even tinder shorts. He looked adorable. Felix figured it must’ve been chan from the nose and the eyes. His own mother was holding a baby of her own, the baby comfortably swaddled in what looked like a light gray blanket. He was staring up at his mom, and from what he could see of the baby, he figured it would be Changbin. Felix and Jisung wouldn’t have been born yet.

This must’ve been the Sanghee Bang that they talked about. She was in a long, dark blue floor-length dress, her waist standing out because of the silver belt that was around it, it looked like leaves gathering above her hips. She had matching silver earrings, and her hair was cut at the neckline, curly, but not like how she had it freely in Australia. Her curls were straightened slightly and they were styled. The neck of the dress was the same solid fabric as the chest and bottom, but in the space between the chest and neck, there was transparent chiffon instead of the fabric used for the rest of the dress. It extended to her sleeves (bishop sleeves?? Felix remembers reading about it). She was smiling, but her eyes didn’t have the twinkle that Felix remembered them having. Her hair was dyed black, and the only thing that seemed to be familiar in the picture was the way she held baby Changbin. Her arms were wrapped around him tightly, like she was holding him without ever planning to let him go.

Felix didn’t realize he was crying until he heard his name being called. Startled, he quickly put what he could back in the box, shoving the items under the dresses. He paused at the book before slowly putting it in, deciding he’d come back for it later. He threw in the scarves hazardously, before looking at the skirts and getting an idea.

Hehe yeah fuck his dad.

“Listen, usually, your ideas are funny or fun and this is both and you look really cute in a goth girl kind of way…” Hyunjin started, sighing as he put his hands on his hips, finishing adjusting the fabric on Felix’s body.

“...but at this point it’s like you’re asking to get killed.” Hyunjin said, clearing his throat.

“Yep!” Felix announced cheerfully, grinning as he bounced on his feet, smiling. 

“Okay...I did the best I could. Go look in the mirror.” Hyunjin said with a sigh, the slightly worried look never leaving his face.

“Okay- hold on.” Felix hummed as he stepped up onto the slightly elevated part of his room where the full body mirror was. He couldn’t help but vocally awe at Hyunjin’s impressive skills with makeup and clothes.

Okay, so, before anyone asks, no, it wasn’t a clown. As much as Felix begged and cried and pleaded to Hyunjin, Hyunjin refused to even make him a hot clown, promising instead he would on his birthday or halloween. Felix agreed, but only because Hyunjin said he wouldn’t do it if Felix kept begging.

So instead, when Felix found his mother’s skirts fit him surprisingly well, not only was he excited about it, he decided he was going to find the coolest thing that his dad would’ve absolutely hated and put it on his face, and after much discussion and Hyunjin straight up dismissing his more wild ideas (ex. An eyebrow piercing. A tattoo of a vine under his cheek.), he settled on looking like a 2020 alt girl. Meaning!! Yay he now has a valid excuse to try eyeliner and an even more valid excuse to pair it with a skirt. Fuck dad lives, he’ll do what he wants.

And goddamn, call him tiktok’s next good looking trauma joke because he is CUTE. If he didn’t already like someone, he would kiss Hyunjin for the magic done on his face. First of all, the black lipstick and heavy eyeliner was bold, but Felix was definitely not against it. It felt a little weird to have so much makeup on his face at once, but it looked cute. Light pinks and reds decorated his eyelids, matching the skirt. Hyunjin had thrown over a nice dark gray sweater over the pink skirt, adding a few pieces of jewelry here and there.

Overall, Felix never wanted to leave this outfit, ever. He was so comfortable in it. He’s definitely gonna wear skirts more often. He wished for a moment he could wear shoes inside the house, because he had a pair of boots that would’ve gone perfectly with it.

“You look...like someone I would see at Seoul fashion week.” Hyunjin said, seemingly impressed with himself.

At that moment, Jaehyung had opened the door.

“Prince Yongbok, your guests have arrived and your presence is requested at- Prince yongbok? Lord Hyunjin, where did the prince go?” Jaehyung looked confused as he looked around the room, Felix unable to hold back a couple of giggles. “I look totally different. This is so cool. It’s like you turned me into a completely different person Hyunjinnie.” He said, grinning. Jaehyung seemed to catch on, staring at Felix in shock for a few moments before he closed his mouth that had been hanging open and cleared his throat.

“Ah, my prince.” He said, nodding. “Uhm. Your guests have arrived. Your presence is requested at the dining hall. Prince Jisung arrived roughly an hour ago as well, and he plans on staying with you the next few weeks.” Felix beamed at the last part. “Nice!! I’m gonna add him to the F.K.B.L. team!” Felix said, slipping on his black house slippers.

“F.K.B.L., sir?” Jaehyung questioned as he followed Felix out of the room, looking at Hyunjin cluelessly.

“Fuck King Bang Lives team!” Felix shouted enthusiastically, pumping his fist in the air.

“There’s no way an acronym like that could go wrong.” Jaehyung muttered under his breath, sighing. The shit he does for his job.

Silence from his dad was a blessing. Felix didn’t give a fuck about anyone else (although he did like the little thumbs up Jisung sent his way and the pure glee on his twin’s face as he realized Felix was wearing a /skirt/), and he was sure he made that abundantly clear to the poor soul that was his next suitor as soon as he stepped through the door.

Unlike last time, there was no shuffling awkwardly to get out of his chair, he didn’t even realize Felix WAS Felix until Felix sat down in his chair after a small bow. He could feel the holes his dad was burning into him, but he ignored it, smiling widely.

“Hi. I’m Yongbok.” He glanced at his plate awkwardly, looking up to the man. Taller than him. Again. Goddamn. Good looking. Definitely not Felix’s type. He looked like he was just here to be polite. He didn’t really seem interested either. He did seem shocked at the prince’s outfit though, and blinked multiple times, nodding, before rising and bowing.

“Uh, nice to meet you Princess- Prince- Yongbok.” He said, stumbling over his words. He really thought Felix was a female when he first walked through the door. Oh, this was gonna be great.

“It’s nice to meet you too. What’s your name?” He asked, noncommittally starting to eat.

“Wooyoung.”

“Wooyoung…?”

“Wooyoung Jang.”

“It’s nice to meet you Wooyoung Jang. What do you like to do for fun?” Felix asked as he ate, pausing to take a sip from his water. The man was taken aback by how little Felix seemed to care but was still pushing for conversation.

“Uhm...I suppose, I like to act. I’m taking classes in my freetime.” He said, chuckling a bit awkwardly.

“Oh! That’s cool. Anything I would’ve seen you in?” Felix asked, looking up for the first time since he sat down.

“I don’t think so, I mostly do smaller dramas right now.”

“Ahh...I watch a lot of horror these days. That sucks.”

“Ah...I could never stomach it. It’s so realistic these days.” Wooyoung responded with a laugh.

“I know right?” Felix laughed back. “Did you know that they’re a lot more accurate these days as well? I learned a lot more about how to dismember a human body through shows than I ever did in a book or text online.” He said. “It’s really odd, how they just show everything now. I could probably commit a murder and get away with it just because a show had an episode where the body was buried under a dead bird so that when police dogs were sent they only found the dead bird, not the body a few feet underneath. Interesting huh?” Felix said it with complete deadpan, before turning back to his food.

Wooyoung, Jisung, and his dad stared at him in shock.

Yeah.

Fuck King Bang’s Lives.

Another suitor. One Felix didn’t hesitate to give the stink eye right off the bat. One who gifted him a...harp?

“What am I gonna do with this?” He asked, looking unimpressed. The man stumbled on his words. 

“Well, I just figured, a lot of eastern royals like traditional instruments and this one is actually a very old model-”

“Can any of you guys play the harp?” Felix asked, not caring that he interrupted the man. Jisung and Seungmin shook their heads. Hyunjin shrugged. Felix looked to Jaehyung, and upon realizing he was also being addressed in that statement, he also shook his head.

“You should probably take this back to wherever you got it from.” Felix said, forcing a smile on his face. The other man nodded awkwardly, clearing his throat. “And you should probably go back to wherever you were before now. Sorry for wasting your time. I’m not interested.” He said, smiling.

“Mmm...yes your highness.”

Felix didn’t give him another chance to say anything else before he was already out of the room, Jaehyung, panicked at the younger’s boldness, quickly following behind him. King Bang threw his fist down on the table out of anger, making the people still sitting there jump.

“Ungrateful bastard…” He mumbled under his breath.

“Ah….I see you like reading too?” Felix asked the man across from him. He didn’t even bother to try and learn the name this time. Jisung was leaning against the wall behind him, watching to see where the conversation would go this time.

“Ah. Yes. Very much so.” The man gave a polite smile. He seemed harmless. Felix almost felt bad for him. Time to scare him off.

“I almost broke the nose of the last man that came in here asking to see my library.” Felix said, not batting an eye as he kept smiling.

Fuck! King! Bang’s! Lives!

The performance events. Felix didn’t know what to expect. The days leading up to it he spent a lot of time memorizing the names of nobility, royals, and people who were just generally high up in the world, all who would be apparently attending.

According to one of the only people he made friends with (one Jackson Wang, prince of Hong Kong), Felix had earned the nickname 'Unobtainable Prince’. He had laughed out loud when he learned of it, causing some others to eye him like he was crazy. Thankfully, it seemed no bad rumors were spread about him, just that he wasn’t interested in marriage. Felix glanced to Seungmin slightly when he heard this. Not quite...he just didn’t want to marry for business or money. But that’s an entirely different hurtle of emotions he can’t just let surface in front of people he has to make a good impression on.

“Well, Prince Yongbok- if you’ll excuse me, I see a friend I’d like to talk to.” Prince Wang said, and Felix smiled, bowing his head lightly. “Of course! I won’t keep you. It was nice talking to you Prince Jackson.” Felix said, waving the other goodbye. As soon as Jackson was out of sight, Felix slumped. He really hoped he could’ve just performed and left, but no, of course he’s last. Curse storytelling for being so time consuming. Apparently there was a small orchestra that was gonna accompany his story too, but he didn’t know what to expect with that, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

“Prince Yongbok.” The way his name was said sounded teasing, exaggerated. Felix turned around to see Changbin, and he laughed. “Prince Changbin.” He responded, exaggerating how he had been taught to stand. Changbin laughed at the other, and Felix smiled in response. Changbin and Jisung were his ultimate mood uplifters (after Seungmin of course, but they didn’t need to know that). 

“I’m excited to see you perform!” Felix said, looping his arm with his brother’s. He didn’t really want to talk to anyone else right now. Hopefully people got the message with the small action.

“Do you even know what I’m gonna be doing?” Changbin asked, and Felix faltered. “No...but you’re talented at everything so I’m sure whatever it is will be something you’re really good at.” Felix said, grinning. Changbin laughed. “I’m not performing- well, not any of my talents. I’m here for you, and Jeongin.” He said, and Felix perked up. “Jeongin? Everything is going well I assume?” He asked, and Changbin shrugged. “I guess, yeah. He’s playing Shamisen. A lot to look forward to. Apparently he was raised in Japan by his mother for a while. You should see Lady Mina’s performance, she does ballet and it’s great every time. She always does a really impressive routine.” Changbin praised the woman Felix had heard in passing but hadn’t actually met. “I guess I’ll be paying attention to hers then. Anyone else I have to keep an eye out for?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Hmmm...Lady Sunmi does a very impressive dance performance I think you’d enjoy. And Princess Tzuyu plays the guzheng. I think she has an entire accompaniment of traditional instruments this time with some of her handmaids.” Changbin said, tilting his head. “But I don’t remember clearly.” He sighed.

“Lady Sunmi!? Chan mentioned her, she seems nice.” Felix smiled. Changbin laughed. “Yeah. She’s a fast learner like you. It’s kind of terrifying actually.” He said. “I think the two of you would get along well.” He said, smiling.

“Maybe we should meet then. I’m sure she’s nice.” Felix said, laughing a little. He and Changbin were pulled away from each other by their respective servants. Felix gave Changbin a small little wave. The performances must be starting.

An hour in, Felix is impressed. He’s not sure what the fuck kind of talent these people thinks he has with reading, but it was absolutely nothing compared to the absolutely stunning performance a (princess? Lady? Felix couldn’t remember her name nor title, but she was well known) put on, her gracefulness outmatched with a wonderful gymnastics routine and a smile on her face. Then, Chan, with his piano skills. Jesus christ, his piano skills. Felix would have played anything Chan composed as background music at all times, it was so calming.

Jisung went up to sing. Felix was amazed at his twin brother’s skill. Although there were a lot of people at the event singing. Maybe Felix is giving his brothers a little too much credit, but hey, it’s called talent for a reason. Jeongin went ham on his long three-stringed banjo. That was really cool. He kind of looked like a fox with the weird smile he kept on his face the entire time. He would be really good at horror music.

After a few more people playing instruments, or dancing, or a really cool performance of mask switching that had Felix completely captivated, and a kind of weird art exhibition that lasted for 15 minutes, it was Felix’s turn. To entertain a bunch of rich people and also maybe their parents or other rich family that happened to be there.

Felix couldn’t imagine that anyone would NOT have anxiety while climbing up onto the...stage? Platform? Weird elevated flooring in the rented out ballroom. Possibly rented out. Probably not rented out at all this place was too nice to rent out.

The short stories Hyunjin and Seungmin had picked and Felix had practiced were tucked under the long, heavy robe (which Felix almost got into an argument over wearing, saying that it would make turning pages harder. Unfortunately, it was an argument he lost because it had been tailored specifically for him and Felix felt bad if he never wore it, ever.), and a set of matches in one hand. Don’t worry, this time he’s not burning any books. He was provided a lantern as a prop.

It was silent as he slowly crossed the stage, stopping in front of the lectern and the lantern. He spent exactly forty-five seconds setting up the first of the two stories on lectern, noticing his hands were shaking slightly. If he squinted at the audience he could see the mini orchestra in front of them, instruments no longer in rest position. Behind him, the curtain that had been up during all other performances had now dropped, showing the sunset splayed over the mountains. The light reflected off of Felix himself, pinks, oranges, and reds playing off of the white robe he was wearing, and the gold makeup that had been painted on his face rather expertly just minutes before he got on stage. He almost looked other-worldly. His hair was only a few shades darker than the robe, also white (he was so excited to dye it). Long dangly gold earrings to match the makeup on his face and the belt he wore. A few rings of the same material. Not that anyone would see his hands. He set the matches down, not moving to open them.

“I’d like to tell you all a story.” He started, voice dropping, as he practiced, flipping the page. His expression was trained, as his eyes flickered through the text. He memorized a good 60% of the book. This would be easy.

The woman was not dead.

As she was dragged by the hunter through the snow, body cold and pale, she looked dead. There was no blood wound, no. But it was clear she was dying. Hair splayed, her thick locks the only thing providing her any warmth- although maybe she was imagining it.

She was dragged for what felt like hours, the hunter not stopping once for her comfort. She was numb as she watched the snow fall from the sky above.

Eventually, he stopped in front of a cabin. He dragged her carelessly inside, a fire already roaring. She could not move any longer as her body started to warm and the stinging pain returned, spreading all around. She was starting to get dizzy from it.

He picked her up wordlessly and sat her on a chair at the end of the dinning table, quickly tying her down to the chair, making sure her binds were tight enough that she wouldn’t be able to escape. Much like attempting to cut off the wings of a bird that has already accepted it cannot fly.

He sat at the other end of the table, and through her haze, the woman could see that the table was full of food.

“Eat.” He said, picking up a knife and fork and cutting into the meat on his plate, digging in.

“I can’t.” She mumbled. “You’ve wounded me.”

“Eat.” He repeated, taking a sip from his wine glass. The room was spinning for the woman. Watching him eat was like watching a film where the clip always cuts.

“Eat.” He said again, staring at her.

“I cant.” She said, slightly louder this time.

“Eat!”

“Eat!”

“EAT!”

A scream echoed, but no one could hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KJFDHJSDF i guess comment ur thoughts this is the only chapter so far i havent read over before hand so pls be nice abt critiquing errors


	5. ill.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The door was already ajar and so Hyunjin walked through with ease, looking around. The first thing that caught his eye was a Bipa leaning against a chair, dark, with white paint. He didn’t spend too much time looking at it as he looked around for a canvas, noticing that there were boxes upon boxes of things packed and stacked up. Curiously, he opened one of them. Maybe it held art supplies?
> 
> No...that was not what it held.
> 
> He should’ve stopped looking as soon as he saw Polaroid pictures laying scattered in the box, on top of a small wooden box he didn’t recognize. It was so obviously not the art supplies he was looking for.
> 
> Instead, he gathered the pictures, crouching down as he set them on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> give me the crown bc im the king of never updating on a planned schedule lmaooo
> 
> here's a playlist for the ff if u wanna read it while listening to some tunes u kno?  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0XGxVr9JjeH0ql7AeH1FmT?si=8oKOiwg6RCS5w1iponyBVw
> 
> have fun w it!! I added songs based on either vibe or meaning lol.

The woman first saw the little girl at the other end of the hall that led to the dining room, candles providing little to no lighting, making what the woman saw much more frightening.

The woman and the girl stared at each other, the girl much similar to the woman...no. This was a younger version of herself.

"Bipa." The little girl looked taunting as she mentioned the instrument before running down the halls, the woman following her. As they progressed, the girl quickly moved the woman screaming after her for her attention, she saw that the house, instead of its regular floor plan, had turned into a maze. How wonderful.

"Wait!" The woman screamed. "Wait! Where did you go?"

For a moment, she was alone, outside in the garden- but it was a maze too. A fog covered her and she had a bad feeling up her neck. In the distance she heard what sounded like a little kid laughing and playing.

All of a sudden, where she had been in the garden before, she was back inside, except this time outside of the lecture rooms. 

"Like this my little ----" an older woman praised, the name getting muffled as the little girl sat with her knees on the floor, hands folded neatly in the other's lap, who had a book open to a page. She was reading, but the words merged together.

The woman tried to step into the room but as soon as she did, both pairs of eyes were on her.

"I was shot." She began. "I was shot and brought here and taunted- please, I beg of you, help me."

The old woman looked to the little girl, almost completely ignoring the woman.

"Please!" The woman screamed. The only response she got was a sharp "shh!" From the little girl, who glowered. "I'm trying to hear the story!"

The woman was taken aback by the others. Did they not hear her? She tried again.

"I'll give you a story if you can get me out of here." She said, and that seemed to get the girls attention. She looked up, unblinking, and suddenly, they moved from the lecture room to the library, the woman sitting in a chair close to the fireplace, the girl writing something down on the study table.

"Tell me a story." The little girl said shoving a Bipa in the woman's arms. The woman played what she knew, a few songs. She told the story of being found in the woods. Of being shot and dragged here. Of being forced to eat and taunted when she could not.

"That's boring! That's not real!" The girl seemed angry. The woman was caught off guard. "I never said it was real, little one." She lied, falling back as the angry girl seemed to get closer.

"This is why they don't like you! This is why they call you a liar!" She screamed furiously, pushing the woman back, the woman surprised by the little girl’s strength.

"I played for you! I told you a story! Please!" The woman begged, getting cornered in front of the fireplace as she screamed for the little girl to help her.

"You're ill." The little girl said simply. The woman was caught off guard by the change of pace.

"W-When...how did you…?"

"Well it's not him. He's not the one that has it run in the family. But your son does." The girl said, tilting her head. "Why didn't you tell him?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. 

The woman looked past the girl and into the hall where she saw a little boy, wearing a hanbok like the little girl. While hers was a bright red skirt under a white top, his was completely black.

"I-" the woman looked like she was at a loss for words.

"I never wanted to be here." She said. "I didn't know I was ill until I got shot."

"Can you tell a story?" The little boy asked.

"She's terrible at telling stories." The little girl replied, stepping back.

"How about I read you one? Alice in wonderland?" The woman offered.

"Alice in wonderland is a horrible book." The little girl said, looking upset the woman even dared mention it.

"Why's that?"

The little boy spoke from the hallway, sighing. "Because! It's unrealistic that Alice would be away from her family for that long!" He said, like it was obvious.

"I'm sorry." The woman said, trying to move away from the fireplace. The little girl frowned.

"Shut up. Stop trying to avoid the inevitable. Getting out of here isn't gonna happen, you know that right ----?" 

Her name was muffled again as the little girl spoke, and her ears started to ring.

"No- there must be a way out- there must be a way out-" The woman begged, looking between the girl and the boy. They stared at her silently, the boy suddenly right next to the girl. He grinned a little, looking almost crazy.

"Burn." He whispered.

The woman could do nothing as she was pushed back in the fire, crying out as she went up in flames.

Felix let the note he fell on ring through the room before he slammed the book shut, almost startling his brothers and staff.

"Whoops!" He smiled brightly, laughing a little. "I'm sorry, I didn't expect it to be so loud here." He quickly bowed his head, but his brother's didn't even let him, quickly rushing to compliment and praise the story telling.

"No no no! It was fine!! A good end to the book, wasn't it?" Chan said, smiling widely and shaking his hands from where he sat on his pillow. 

"Ah….it was wonderful Bokkie, I liked it a lot." Changbin said, giving a soft smile.

Jisung clapped his hands together, a little more energetic than the other. "It was amazing! I'm in love! You should do audio books! No- the people can't buy Bokkie's precious voice." He said, fake wiping a tear.

Felix did get a little embarrassed, Hyunjin giggling. The younger turned to the noble, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Nothing your highness. It's just funny to watch your brother's fawn over you. You really are their youngest, my prince." Hyunjin said, and Felix simply buried his face in the book cover out of embarrassment, whining.

Chan laughed a little, going to the platform to help Felix up, Felix yawning as he stretched.

"I'm hungry." He whined, latching onto his brother, who had been visiting for the week with Changbin. It had easily been the best week of Felix's life since his mother's death. Felix had been, well, going a little crazy. Since every guest he had was someone basically tryna bang (not a pun, although Felix did snort when he thought of it), and the only other people he saw were those in the house, he really missed how social he was in Australia. Sure, he didn't have many people he'd call close friends or anything, but he had casual school friends he occasionally talked to over Kakao. He had people he hung out with outside of school. Here? His friends were his tutors and also technically being paid to deal with him.

"Hey, we might get in a little bit of trouble for it, but how do you feel about having dinner with me and Minho? Changbin's invited obviously- and Jisung, since he, well, lives there, but it would be fun." Chan suggested. Felix's smile became brighter before it disappeared completely. 

"What if it's found out I left? I don't want to get in trouble." Felix said, not letting go of the hold on his brother. Chan pet his hair slightly. "You wouldn't. My ass would be toast but that's completely fine. I wouldn't really care. I'm moved out anyways." He responded. While Felix absolutely adored his brothers and appreciated their willingness to just go with him somewhere, he did not want any of them to get in trouble, and honestly, they had already been stretching it by staying for the week. Felix overheard the phone calls Chan and Changbin both had with their dad. While Jisung couldn't do much (since he was the youngest before), Changbin and Chan actually had a little leverage in delaying Felix getting married or anything like that.

"Nah. Dinner here is fine!! Everywhere I eat is so fancy anyways I'm not that used to it!" He said, finally parting from Chan. 

"Ah, alright if you're sure." Chan said with a nod and smile. Felix laughed. He latched onto Changbin next, Changbin registering that the freckled boy was now at his side and blinking a few times before looking up to Chan. "Chan I think I have a leech at my side please help." He deadpanned, Felix shouting a small "hey!" While Jisung and Chan laughed.

"Just for that I'm trapping you here with me. You hear me? You're never going free now!" He said, giggling wickedly as he gripped Changbin tighter. Changbin wheezed at the pull, trying to tickle Felix to get the other off him, but Felix's sides were too far away.

Felix felt an incoming headache and started to get a little dizzy so he quickly let go, trying to pass it off as deciding to help Changbin and Jisung up. He had been getting a lot of headaches recently. Full on migraines occasionally.

"Hey, it's lunch, we still have the rest of the day to hang out before you guys have to go home." Jisung pointed out. "What should we do?"

"Definitely eat." Felix said, pushing his brothers into the hall, Hyunjin and Seungmin following, Jaehyung behind them. Kind of like a train, haha.

They filed into the dining room, Seungmin and Hyunjin opting to sit on the opposite side of the table from Felix and Jisung, Chan at one head, Changbin at the other. Felix thinks Chan deserved to sit at that head more than his father ever did.

"Oh my gosh are these sandwich bites?? These are so cute!" Felix awed at the sandwiches in front of him.

"Yeah! They're tiny like your hands!" Jisung jokes, Felix fake sniffing as he wiped away a totally legit tear, dramatically falling back in his seat as he picked up a tiny, triangle cut sandwich. "You wound me." He joked before stuffing his mouth with the said food. There was a small bowl of yogurt and fruit off to the side, along with water and tea.

Lunch was good, and Felix liked joking with his friends and brothers, the men soon turning into squabbling children, Hyunjin and Seungmin thoroughly entertained by them. 

“Oh! Before I forget- Chan already knows because I talked to him about it-” Changbin started, grabbing the attention of the room.

“-mine and Jeongin’s wedding is soon. I know you’re all gonna like, practically be there anyways, but I just figured a formal invite was better than suddenly showing up as groomsmen you know?” Changbin said, coughing awkwardly. “Also yes, that includes you, Hyunjin, Seungmin. Not the groomsmen part- I just don’t want Felix to be lonely at my wedding you know?” He said, looking embarrassed that the attention was all on him now.

“Congratulations!” Chan was the first to speak, beaming widely as he clapped, despite already knowing about it. Hyunjin and Seungmin joined him whereas Jisung and Felix were asking questions about Jeongin.

“Is he super nice? He seemed kind of intimidating like you.”

“He looks a lot like a fox! Is he a trickster?”

“I wanna be his friend! When can we meet him?”

“He grew up in Japan right? Are you gonna move there?”

“Oh my god you two really are twins.” Changbin wheezed out, nearly choking on his tea from the onslaught of questions.

“Okay uh, he’s very nice. Just a little...awkward at times in private. We haven’t really met up that much besides looking for a house...oh uh, I guess in public he comes off as colder though? I think he’s just a little more strict on appearance. He...absolutely is and he pranked me when we first met.” Changbin sighed as he remembered it. That fucker, he’ll get him back for that.

“Uh, I’m sure you’ll meet him at the wedding. Plus, Felix, you’ll be moving in with us anyways, so, you’ll see him all the time, you know?” Changbin answered, before thinking about the last question. “He spent a lot of time in Japan, yes. To my understanding we’ll be spending at least the first five years together in South Korea, maybe a little longer.” Changbin nodded.

“Now no more questions please I might cry.” He said, trying to get the twins to shut up. Felix and Jisung listened, although reluctantly.

After lunch, and Chan being called home a little earlier than planned because Minho needed his help for something, the three remaining brothers ended up curled together on Felix’s bed, Jisung curled up in the middle, facing Felix on one side, Changbin on the other, the oldest already half asleep.

“I have never seen you so tired before.” Jisung said, watching Changbin.

“Really?” He murmured sleepily. “I’m always sleepy around Felix. I don’t know why.”

“Probably because you hang out with me around the time we tend to go to bed.” Felix muttered, starting to get a little tired himself. Man, socializing was tiring. And Jisung was an introvert as far as Felix knew. That must’ve been god awful.

“That’s true. The wedding.” Felix said, and Changbin mumbled a small ‘yeah’ in response.

“Huh?” Jisung asked.

“We talked before heading to bed but both fell asleep.” Felix said, opting to not mention that he cuddled Changbin. For Changbin’s pride in being emo.

“Awh. Cute. Bokkie you could probably fall asleep anywhere if you tried hard enough.” Jisung said with a small laugh.

Damn, it was like all noise was piercing to Felix. His headache was getting slightly worse.

“Mm. Yeah. Nap time now.” He murmured, eyes closed as he snuggled close to Jisung, effectively getting tangled in the other’s limbs, Changbin’s arm slung over the younger two. Jisung seemed to fall asleep quickly, yawning as he was trapped by his two brothers.

As soon as Changbin left later that day, Felix felt lonely again. He liked when his brothers were with him. It was chaos, but quiet and controlled. Felix on the other hand had repeated intrusive thoughts about setting the cabin on fire, and if Jisung, Hyunjin, and Seungmin hadn’t been here with him, he would’ve. He definitely would’ve acted on that impulse.

“Hey. Whatcha thinking about?” Felix was pulled out of his thoughts by Seungmin’s voice, realizing he had stopped playing his instrument halfway through a piece.

“Setting the cabin on fire.” He answered honestly. Seungmin laughed.

“Maybe wait for the summer, bub.” He said, affectionately patting Felix’s arm. “Here, finish this up and we’ll finish for the day. It’s obvious your head is a little in the clouds today.” Seungmin said, humming as he moved to sit back across from Felix. Felix nodded and started over again. Usually when playing any instrument (He played piano really well when he was little, but almost all skill was gone now), he tended to have a weird sort of focus he could easily achieve. His hands worked on muscle memory very well, and it felt nice, to hit certain points of the string repetitively, and get a different sound with every note, but still came together to play the same song.

He finished, shoulders immediately sagging as he sighed, Seungmin laughing at his expression. “Don’t tell me you’re tired already my prince?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Shhh...I’m so ready to take another nap.” Felix said, Seungmin wordlessly placing a juice box between Felix’s lips. Felix’s muffled surprise caused him to open his eyes and look at the straw between his lips. He took a few sips and then looked at the box.

“Where did you get this?” He asked, smiling. “What is it?” He asked, a little more curious.

“Banana milk.” Seungmin said. “Brought extra when Hyunjin asked me to go get some.” He smiled. “Figured you’d like some since your blood pressure seems to drop so fast.” He said, humming slightly. “You were correct. This is amazing. I’m going to die happy now.” Felix said, finishing the box in a few minutes.

Seungmin snorted. “So, what are your plans for the rest of the day now that you have it off?” He asked. Felix looked outside. “I don’t know.” He murmured as he watched the snow fall.

"I'm really cold." He said, sighing as he tried to rub his hands together. "I think I'm gonna sit in front of the library fireplace. Maybe take a nap. Maybe read. Maybe just listen to music or something." He said, sighing as he got up. He was wearing layers, so he didn't really understand why he was so cold, but maybe there was a draft or something. 

"Okay. Would you like me to join you, my prince?" Seungmin asked politely.

"Sure." Felix said with a smile.

So that's how they ended up huddled together, a book between them and curled up in a blanket so politely provided by Jaehyung. They had a tray of tea and small sweets (turkish delights), and an extra copy of the book because at first they meant to approach it like a book club. Instead the book sat between their laps, one asking the other when it was okay to turn the page, Felix laughing at Seungmin's commentary, and Seungmin clinging to Felix when he got excited or worried for one of the characters.

Through the window in the hall, Jisung and Hyunjin watched the two, Jisung sighing.

“They get along well.” Hyunjin commented.

“Yes, but Seungmin is just a tutor.” Jisung immediately countered. Hyunjin scowled. “I think you forget yourself, my prince. I too am just a tutor here.” He countered, crossing his arms.

Jisung turned towards him. “Yes, but you’re ‘just a tutor’ that’s nobility. We are lucky for you to take on the job. Seungmin is skilled but his family are just...architects. It makes a lot of money but it isn’t beneficial to Felix at all.” Jisung said, chewing his lip worriedly.

“You think the king won’t approve.” Hyunjin said, sighing. His arms wrapped around Jisung’s shoulders, hands on the other’s chest as he hugged him from behind.

“Relax Sungie. If we can hold off Felix getting married before he’s an adult he can do whatever he wants with Seungmin, okay?” He said, lifting one hand to play with Jisung’s hair. “You worry too much for your brother. He’s handled stuff by himself for a while. I’m sure he can do it now, right?” Hyunjin said, but it didn’t seem to calm Jisung as he kept looking. Then quickly, Jisung scrunched his nose and looked away, making a small sound of disgust.

“What? What is- awh. They’re just cuddling you idiot. Does PDA disgust you that much?” Hyunjin teased, leading Jisung to the guest bedroom the two were sharing. Technically, after Changbin and Jeongin, they were next in line to get married. Funny, how they hated each other when they first met.

They made their way to the bedroom, which looked a lot less...lived in than Felix’s room. But Felix also insisted on decorating absolutely everything and even managed to get a hold of glitter somehow, so his room was basically like a festival all the time.

Hyunjin could see Jisung was worried as he laid down on the bed, having discarded his jacket with ease.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” Hyunjin asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. As much as he would love to lay down, he knew he had duties he still needed to finish later in the day, and couldn’t leave the other prince hanging.

“What if…? I mean. From the way Changbin talks about mom, and how Chan talks about mom, Yongbok acts literally just like her. Or really similar anyways. What if he’ll leave too? Or try to leave with Seungmin?” Jisung asked, voicing his fears. “I don’t want to lose my twin again. For years I knew he existed. But the king never allowed me to look for him or try to meet him, or anything. And he absolutely hates the environment, I can see it in his eyes. He hates adapting too. If he was just hating royalty then he’d be in the same boat as Changbin.” Jisung murmured. Hyunjin was playing with his hair again, sighing.

“I’ve never really had a twin so I don’t know what this feels like, but I’m sure if he left, he would’ve told me or Seungmin. He doesn’t want to leave his friends behind again. He doesn’t want to be alone again. If you’re really worried about your mother…” Hyunjin paused, hesitating. Should he even continue? His recommendation might get Jisung in a lot of trouble.

“What? What is it?” Jisung asked, turning around.

“Well,” He swallowed down his fear. “What’s the reason your mother left? Did your father ever say?” He asked. Jisung paused.

“Uhm...just that she was sick. I think he meant mentally ill- he used to bash her for weird stuff all the time, even though Chan said he was really happy when he was with her. Uhm...everyone said the palace didn’t suit her. She didn’t like being here. She got pregnant a third time with me and Felix and tried to leave but started giving birth. I think dad said she was cheating on him? And that’s why she was running, but I don’t know. You’d honestly have to ask Chan or Changbin.” Jisung said, sighing.

“Well, if your mother is certainly anything like Felix, cheating seems odd. Besides, Felix looks just like her and you look a lot like your father.” Hyunjin said. Before sighing. “It is such a shame that man has a handsome face.” He murmured, Jisung gasping before laughing.

“Hyunjin, you can’t say things like that! Even out here! What if someone overheard?” Jisung chastised Hyunjin, but the other saw the little gleam in his eyes. His mood had improved slightly.

“Of course, I apologize for speaking out against the king, my prince.” He said, smirking a little. Jisung laughed, before looking down.

“Should I ask Changbin? Chan? Do you think they’d know?” He asked, fidgeting slightly.

“I think it’s worth a try, my love.” Hyunjin said, kissing Jisung’s forehead slightly before being hugged back by the other. Hyunjin laughed. “While I would love to cuddle, I have to go prepare evening activities, my prince.” He said, Jisung hesitantly letting go.

“Fine. Have fun doing uh, I don’t know, Russian studies?” He tried, and Hyunjin snorted. “No- me and Seungmin teach all the same subjects- except mandarin- so we switch off. Today Seungmin did russian studies, so I do art and history.” Hyunjin said, humming.

“I’ll leave you to it then.” Jisung said, nodding. The two said their goodbyes before Hyunjin walked down the halls alone, sighing. Man, even the down-to-earth princes are a lot to handle. Hyunjin walked to the lecture room at the end of the hall- it was where Felix did most of the more ‘artistic’ courses. Like art. Music. Hyunjin gathered the materials, the two going to start a new painting today. He hummed quietly as he brought out the canvas stands and paints, before realizing he only had one canvas. Hm...maybe he used them up faster than he thought.

Lucky for him, one of the staff members was passing through, holding a bag of what Hyunjin could only assume was laundry.

“Ms. Jeon.” Hyunjin called out politely, getting the attention of the young woman with ease. “Yes duke?” She asked politely, Hyunjin quickly waving the title off. “Please. We work under the same roof, just call me Hyunjin.”

“Ah...yes, Hyunjin?” She asked again, the name coming off a little awkward, but hey, she was trying her best.

“Is there anywhere else in the house that canvases might be stored? I need one for art, but it seems we’re exactly one canvas short.” Hyunjin explained, the woman quickly nodding.

“Yes sir, if you go further down the hall and take a left to the west gardens exit, directly across from it is the stairs that lead into the attic. You would probably find some in storage there- if there are none, please let me know. I’ll order more.” Ms. Jeon said before bowing hurriedly.

“Thank you Ms. Jeon. I’ll see you later.” He said as he headed down the hall, still giving a polite smile. He found the staircase with ease, surprised. He had used this garden entrance multiple times and never once really paid attention to it. It was oddly placed in the corner instead of just one side of the wall. Hyunjin realized he had been mistaking the start of the stairs as a decoration or something all this time because of the intricate wood carvings in the handles. He had to duck to start walking up the stairs, but managed with ease, reaching the top hall. He didn’t even know this was here...hm. This was interesting. He’ll have to ask Seungmin or Jaehyung about it later.

The door was already ajar and so Hyunjin walked through with ease, looking around. The first thing that caught his eye was a bipa leaning against a chair, dark, with white paint. He didn’t spend too much time looking at it as he looked around for a canvas, noticing that there were boxes upon boxes of things packed and stacked up. Curiously, he opened one of them. Maybe it held art supplies?

No...that was not what it held.

He should’ve stopped looking as soon as he saw Polaroid pictures laying scattered in the box, on top of a small wooden box he didn’t recognize. It was so obviously not the art supplies he was looking for.

Instead, he gathered the pictures, crouching down as he set them on the floor.

The first was- well, of a woman’s back. She was wearing a plain black bra and regular jeans. Her hair was dark brown, almost red. Her arms were thrown up and she was on the han river bridge. She had a cigarette in one hand. Hyunjin moved to the next picture, this one a selfie Polaroid. Both had really high exposure, Hyunjin assuming flash was probably on. She looked...like a face Hyunjin had seen before. Her hair was dyed platinum blonde, and she looked tired. She wore dark blue lipstick and a graphic t-shirt, staring right into the camera. She seemed unamused with whatever was happening.

The next photo had writing on it. It was very neat. Hyunjin could clearly make out the words ‘that fucker’. He looked at the photo to see the same woman with her hair cut short and neat, still blonde, but she wore a hanbok and was sitting in front of a lectern. Despite having her hands folded in her lap, and a somewhat trained posture, her face betrayed her neatness. She looked disgusted and upset. Hyunjin didn’t know about what.

In the photo directly after that one, it was blurry, but she was seen walking down the hall, rather fast. Looking...shocked? No. Not quite it. There was exhaustion, but her movement was so urgent that the only part that wasn’t blurry was her face, where her eyes were wide, and the rest of her face looked trained. Almost like she was angry. The Polaroid was half burned. There was a small slip of blue, and Hyunjin wondered if someone else had originally been in the photo.

The last photo, which was much different from the others (instead of being a Polaroid, it was a printed out picture from a digital camera), was of the woman in the snow. Her hair was dyed black and she looked pale, freckles looking rather prominent against her skin. She looked almost dead, but not quite. She wore a dark red blouse, one that was certainly not for winter. Hyunjin stared at the photo before it clicked. This must be Felix’s mother. Wow. He really did look like her.

He went back to the box to pick up the small wooden box inside of it, setting it down on the floor and opening it up. It was what looked like a simple composition notebook (that had seen some shit, granted, given the way it sat tattered, the cover beat up and fixed with tape and...stickers?), and some more pictures. Hyunjin carefully took the items out, gulping slightly. He felt like he was intruding. He should take these to Jisung immediately.

He slowly opened the composition notebook, reading the first words written in neat Hangul.

‘SANGHEE BANG.’

“You realize we eventually have to get up right?” Seungmin asked, the two now on the floor as Felix was curled around the other, having managed to get their blanket to wrap them in a cocoon. “That’s a good point.” He mumbled, stretching his toes slightly as they were the closest thing to the fire, and were very toasty and warm. That was good. Felix liked warmth.

“But. I have an hour until my next lesson, and you’re not the one teaching it, so, contrarily, I think we should keep cuddling.” Felix said back, Seungmin sighing.

“Alright Bokkie. At this rate you’ll lose any muscle you had before.” He teased, Felix simply whining and flopping on the other. “If I’m not awake doing home school or reading I do tend to be...you know. Sleeping. There’s not even a TV here.” He complained, sighing.

“As much as I would love to hear you stop complaining about how many shows you’ll have to catch up on as soon as you get near one, I’m afraid I still cannot solve that problem my prince.” Seungmin said, chuckling. “No electronics for you. King’s orders.” He murmured, sighing. Felix whined slightly.

“I’m gonna...I don’t know. Start sobbing in front of the king. Make him watch.” He said, shaking his head.

“I’m sure that would go over well.” Seungmin responded, rolling his eyes. Felix pouted. “You take the fun out of pretending like he isn’t outright abusive.” He said, sighing. Yeah, he’s at the stage where he starts joking about his trauma, what about it?

Seungmin sighed, nuzzling Felix slightly. “Your...talent to be rather impulsive while acting on thoughts stresses me out, I admit. Maybe just marry a friend or something. Marriage doesn’t have to be the romance you want, Yongbok. Sometimes...someone who's decent is all you can hope for.” He said, not making eye contact with Felix as he said it. It’s not like they’re gay for each other or something, not at all hahahaha. That would be wild.

“I don’t know.” Felix said, sighing. His view on marriage was something he really told a few people because it really seemed dumb. A little too hopeful. “I’ll think about it okay? But I don’t know if I really can just change my opinion on something like that. Honestly? I’m too young to even be married. This is just a bunch of bullshit.” Felix said, burying his head into the other’s chest. Seungmin seemed to pop a turkish delight in his mouth while he thought about how to respond.

“I guess you’re right. But sometimes you just have to adapt to things, you know? I know you don’t like it but...this is your life now. It’s gonna keep going whether you like it or not. And it’s not gonna wait for you to adjust to it.” He said. Felix listened.

“Yeah. But every time everyone sees me they just see my mom. Like...I don’t know. My brothers are great but they literally pamper me all the fucking time and I can’t tell if it’s because they’re actually happy about having a new brother, or if they just have severe mommy issues.” Felix was cut off by Seungmin snorting, and for a moment, he looked up to the other to pout.

“I’m sorry my prince, please continue.”

Felix stared at him for a few more seconds before continuing.

“The first time I hung out with Changbin one on one he literally called me mom. I corrected him, I cried about it. But it’s occurred to me that, even though according to everyone I’ve ever met in your...rich people circles, everyone knows of Hayoon as this super eccentric woman who was rebellious or whatever. Like, hated her life here. But then people I talk to at weddings or events tell me she was nice and fit right in, and had the king wrapped around her finger. But the king calls her names to my face and is trying to ban mentioning her in the house.” Felix vented his frustrations out.

“Like, what was my mother doing? Was my entire childhood where I lived with the kind woman who liked to read to me and spend time on the beach just a lie? I expected her to go quietly. She had at least a year left. Maybe longer. We talked about it.” Felix started crying, and almost immediately he could feel the oncoming headache. It was weird how prominent the headaches were nowadays. He got them often but they seemed triggered by anything recently.

Seungmin didn’t really know how to respond to the other spilling his guts to him, so he kept silent.

“It’s like the one person who I was closest to in my entire life suddenly has three different identities, and people think I’m every single one of them! I’m so sick and tired of being compared to my mother when I don’t even know who she is!” Felix took a few minutes to just straight up sob, probably soaking Seungmin’s shirt in the process. Eh, worst comes to worst, he can ditch the shirt.

“Hey… hey…” He provided what little comfort he could, sighing. “Do you want to go back to your room? I’m sure we can take the lesson out of your day if you aren’t feeling well.” Seungmin said. Felix simply nodded.

Slowly, he picked himself and Felix up, deciding he would come to clean the mess they made later if the staff didn’t get to it first. He had his phone in his pocket so that he could text Hyunjin and Jisung and let them know Felix wasn’t feeling too well. Jaehyung raised an eyebrow when Seungmin entered the hall carrying Felix.

“Can you help me? He’s not feeling too well and he’s fatigued.” Seungmin said, and Jaehyung nodded, taking the prince out of Seungmin’s hands.

“Thank you.” Seungmin wordlessly said, leading the group back to Felix’s room. Felix has already fallen asleep. Seungmin was particularly worried about how much he had been oversleeping recently, but maybe it was simply mood related? Felix hadn’t really been in the best of moods at all over the past few months, no wonder he’s so tired.

It took Seungmin only a few minutes to tuck Felix into bed and make sure he was okay before he stepped out, quickly closing the doors. He turned to his side to see Hyunjin clutching something as he seemed to be almost running down the hall.

“Ah- Hyunjin- I just wanted to let you know that-”

“Uh, can you tell Felix art is canceled today? And...I don’t feel particularly good so I don’t think I’ll be attending dinner. Sorry. Bye.”

Well…

...that was weird as fuck.

“O-Okay. Let me know if you need anything Hyunjin!” Seungmin called, Hyunjin already long gone.

“...Wild.”

Seungmin was by himself in his own room, the light turned off, and the only light being provided coming from the window. It made his room look...almost grayscale. Almost. He liked it. Under his covers he was comfortable.

He couldn’t help but have something tug at his chest. Felix wasn’t okay. His mood shifted from happy to stressed in an instant, and it gave Seungmin whiplash. He wondered if it would be possible for his brothers to take him out. A vacation might do him some good. He’ll have to talk to Chan about it.

And- what had Hyunjin been clutching? That was just odd, but it looked urgent. If it was something Seungmin needed to know, he was sure the other would tell him, right?

Yeah. So for now, he shouldn’t worry. Maybe Hyunjin just forgot to do something. It was entirely plausible. He scrolled through his phone for a while, sighing.

“The snow makes the trees look dead.” He commented as he looked outside the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> absolutely no one:  
> Felix, just tryna vibe, instead he takes nap:
> 
> also seungmin is #whipped poor guy
> 
> yall gonna hate me in upcoming chapters im sorry


	6. all the king's horses and all the king's men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then, like clockwork, she was back at the dining table with the little girl. She watched her in the lecture hall, she ended up in the library. The boy never showed up until the very end. Like clockwork.
> 
> “Help.” She whispered.
> 
> She was pushed into the flames again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess the next chapter name >:)

Felix...was a lot less fit than he had been in Australia. With his kind of shitty schedule and doing absolutely nothing all day, it was expected. The most walking he managed was at Chan and Minho’s wedding, and even then, he was sitting for a good three hours.

This, however, was ridiculous. He couldn’t believe he was so out of shape that he was having trouble for standing as long as he had been at his _brother’s_ wedding. By the end of Changbin’s vows, Felix was basically leaning as much of his body weight as he could on Jisung without making it too noticeable. Jisung, of course, noticed, and managed to hold him by the back for most of the vows, but Felix was all too glad when they were finally taking pictures and leaving to go sit down, slumping into his seat. His head hurt. His knees hurt. His left hand hurt. His neck was starting to kill him. And he had no idea what was causing this.

“Hey bub, you doing okay?” Jisung questioned once Changbin and Jeongin were followed out onto the field by photographers and reporters to take pictures, wedding guests talking amongst themselves.

“I am...in a lot of pain.” Felix admitted, feeling like there was a tickle in the back of his throat. He sighed. “And am heavily resisting the urge to cough.” He said, sitting upright in his chair.

“You might have the start of a cold. Do you want me to see if anyone has any tylenol?” Jisung asked, and Felix nodded. “Yes- please.” He pleaded, Jisung already off to find the pain medication.

While Chan’s wedding had been simple, cute, and straight to the point, Jeongin and Changbin seemed to go all out. They rented an old building (it almost looked like a church) for the occasion, decorated with dark green and silver for the wedding. Changbin’s suit was a green slightly lighter than the rest of the decorations, Changbin and Jeongin both wearing silver jewelry to match. Jeongin seemed to just go the plain black suit route, but it still looked good. And of course, much to Changbin’s dismay (he and Jeongin both argued that the pieces WEREN’T needed), the two wore crowns that matched the rest of the decor. Felix remembers Changbin’s face when it was first put on his head- oh how much he frowned. Felix supposed the next time he had a big event, he would probably want to be more included in the planning.

Watching Changbin was a lot of fun. It was funny, watching his brothers run around to help the man. Felix opted to do what Minho was doing instead, which was to pretend like he’s interested in socializing and make a beeline for the food.

However, his knees hurt way too much. He sighed as he flopped in his seat, trying hard to get comfortable, but it was to no use.

Jisung came back soon with the medication in hand, Felix not hesitating as he swallowed it down with some water from the glass on the table.

“Have I ever mentioned I love you?” Felix asked, batting his eyelashes at his brother.  
“Felix, I could give you head scratches like a cat and you’d say the same exact thing.” Jisung argued, and Felix laughed. “This is very true. You could. And I would.”

“Hey losers, we’re about to start eating.” Minho popped up from behind Felix and Jisung, like he hadn’t already been sneaking food into his mouth for the past 30 minutes. Jisung took his seat to the left of Felix, Minho sitting on his right. Next to Minho, Chan. Next to Chan, Changbin and Jeongin. And on Jeongin’s side? A bunch of people (mostly girls) that scared the shit out of Felix and who he didn’t really want to get the time to know.

Chan gave a great best man speech (everything he does is great, he’s not surprised when he saw Changbin tearing up a little despite his union with Jeongin being platonic), and some random noble who came _to_ the wedding drunk professed his love for Jeongin in front of the entire room of guests, which was...awkward and amusing to say the least. Then, finally, food. Felix’s head was pounding, but thankfully, eating seemed to make some of the pain lessen. The pain in his neck and knees was refusing to ease up, and no matter how much he ate, he was absolutely exhausted.

Jisung seemed to notice- as he hadn’t stopped staring at Felix since he gave him the pain killers. If he wasn’t staring, he was at least checking up on him.

“Is he alright? Why do you keep looking at him?” Minho asked, raising an eyebrow. Then he frowned and looked to Felix. “Yongbok is something wrong?”

“No, no. I’m just experiencing a headache and a little knee pain is all.” He said, giving a small smile. Minho’s worries didn’t seem quelled. “I don’t know.” Jisung said. “He took pain meds but he still has the headache.”

“It could be a migraine.” Minho said. “That’s probably why you look so tired Lixie. During the second half of reception do you want to take a nap in one of the back rooms?” He asked Felix, who seemed like he was about to nod before hesitating. “What about Changbin though? I don’t want to ruin his wedding.” Felix said.

Minho shook his head. “I’ll ask Channie to tell him. I’m sure sleeping at the table is much worse than sleeping behind closed doors. Finish eating and then we can go.” He said, and Felix nodded, listening. Jisung finished his own food as well, pace seeming to pick up from his anxiousness around Felix.

“Sungie, please, stop looking at me. I’m fine okay? If it gets bad I’ll be the first to tell you.” Felix said with a smile. Why was Jisung acting so concerned all of a sudden? It wasn’t entirely uncommon for his brothers to be overprotective or to care a lot and show it but...this was kind of odd. Felix tried his best to brush it off, finishing his dinner, and letting Minho lead him to the nearest couch after giving Changbin a little smile on the way out. Pass out he did, almost immediately. He immediately fell into a pretty deep sleep, yawning and stretching before hand, almost like a cat.

“Felix.”

"Mmmmpf."

"Felix~"

"m awake."

"Are you?"

The voice was teasing. Felix cracked an eye open to see Chan hovering over him, smiling. He groaned. "How long did I sleep for?" He asked groggily as he sat up. He felt Chan's hand on his back. Felix cried out softly as the pain in his knees was made worse as he got up.

"Are you okay?" Chan asked, showing concern.

"I'm fine." Felix responded, massaging his knee. "Just sore. How long was I asleep for?"

"Long enough to miss Jeongin bully Changbin for two hours straight. It was so funny. I think Jisung has taken a liking to him." Chan said, chuckling. "Minho sent me to check in on you- he didn't want to bother you too much- also Jisung seems a little freaked out? But he won't tell anyone why." Chan spoke softly, patting his little brother on the head. Felix is a simple man. He demands more head pats. 

Chan chuckled softly. "C'mon bokkie. Get up. Changbin wants to see you before you and everyone staying with you before you guys leave again. Since Hyunjin and Seungmin didn't sit with us he didn't really get a chance to say hi to either." 

Felix nodded as he sat up, groaning. His head still hurt a lot, but he tried to ignore it as he fully stood, stretching.

"You look like you slept a full day." Chan said.

"I feel like I did." Felix responded, coughing slightly. It felt awful.

"C'mon." Chan led him out of the back room, Felix following. He rubbed his eyes slightly, letting his eyes adjust to the light. Soon, they were outside, guests milling around. There were a lot less than before. Felix walked awkwardly, trying to keep his leg straight.

“Felix! Chan!” Changbin called them over excitedly. Seungmin and Hyunjin were with him, lightening up at the other two coming into view.

“We’re gonna take pictures!” Seungmin called out to the two, jogging over to them. “With just the friend group- Jisung got his hands on a polaroid camera from one of the photographers- we’re allowed four shots.” Seungmin said. Felix laughed. “I can tell already one of those is gonna look like it doesn’t belong at a wedding.” Felix said. Seungmin rolled his eyes.

“Let’s go, your highness.” He said.

“Burn.”

It was this same sequence, repeated over and over for the woman.

“Am I in hell?” She had once asked.

The little girl had simply sneered at her before pushing her in the fire again.

Sometimes she tried to stay in the dining room. Tried to finish her meal. It always ended up with her coughing up blood. Her being dragged down the hall to the library and pushed in the fire again.

Sometimes she waited until she got to the garden maze. She ran around in an attempt to get herself more lost, or didn’t move at all. This resulted in her finding out she was being watched. By what? She didn’t know. It certainly wasn’t the little girl.

She would end up running until she couldn’t any longer, the wound from the shotgun looking like it had reopened. Or, like it had never healed at all.

In the maze, she would bleed out and die and it would start to snow. The snow would fall to the ground, but never touch her. Like she wasn’t there in the first place. Black hair splayed out on the ground like part of a painting...only for it too to turn as white as the snow. The only thing that differentiated her from the blanket of cold white was the bright red dress she wore, draped across her legs as a blanket.

Then, like clockwork, she was back at the dining table with the little girl. She watched her in the lecture hall, she ended up in the library. The boy never showed up until the very end. Like clockwork.

“Help.” She whispered.

She was pushed into the flames again.

Felix woke up with a start, sweating. He cried out, clutching his head. The pounding was all too great, head hot and uncomfortable as he squeezed his eyes shut. He was sweating, but once he kicked his blankets off he found himself to be cold.

His hands were shaking as he tried to steady himself, most of the pain subsiding. He looked to the clock on his bedside table, only to see it read 3:13 AM. How lovely. He groaned as he let himself fall back into bed, closing his eyes.

No matter how much he twisted and turned he couldn’t fall back asleep.

He felt worse as he tried to, eyes too heavy with exhaustion for him to lift his lids, but he couldn’t fall asleep. His chest felt tight, and he found himself wheezing with every movement. This was...awful.

He stayed like that for another minute until he heard the door open, someone slipping inside.

“Young prince?”

Oh thank god.

“Seungmin…” When did his voice sound so raspy? It hurt his throat to speak, him coughing a little. He must really have a cold.

“Oh dear. My prince- are you alright?” A light was switched on, and it was way too bright for 3AM possibly sick Felix to deal with. He groaned in response, turning his head.

He felt a cool hand on his head. “You’re burning up. I should get Jaehyung and staff- I need to check your temperature.” Seungmin said, moving quickly. Felix moaned. He felt like he could barely move.

“I’ll be back Yongbok- just give me a second okay?” He said, before disappearing.

No, no, no- Felix didn’t want Seungmin to leave he wanted him to come back and maybe even cuddle or something he didn’t want to be left alone-

A sharp pain came suddenly from Felix’s side, the man gasping and writhing in place, eyes squeezed shut and mouth hung open in shock. _That_ couldn’t have been a cold. It hurt way too much- it was awful.

He gasped, shaky breaths coming out so heavily it was almost like you could hear his voice instead of just his breathing.

“Yongbok! What happened?” Suddenly there were a lot more people at his bed.

“He’s sweating like an athlete.” Someone commented, Hyunjin. Felix was starting to become less and less sure this was just a cold.

He felt someone else hold hands with him, and through his eyelids, he could just barely make out Jisung’s blurry figure.

“I don’t think it’s a cold. Wouldn’t he have sneezed?”

“Should we call for a doctor?”

“No- it’s not bad enough for a doctor I think.”

“Bokkie. Do you want anything? Tea? Water?”

“Jisung…”

“I know, Hyunjin. I know.”

Felix could barely keep up with the voices surrounding him, trying to sit up, his knee and side pain coming back almost immediately. He groaned, hand applying pressure to his side despite him not bleeding. Maybe the pain would go away, whatever it was, if he just pushed on it. That worked, sometimes.

“Yongbok, lay back down bub- I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“My prince, I’m gonna take your temperature now.”

He couldn’t stay awake. It was too hard. He let himself go, falling back into his pillow slightly as his vision turned black.

Thankfully, it had just been a cold. At first.

It was a long and awful cold, but it was just a cold, and Seungmin had taken care of Felix through most of it.

But then, it was worse.

Felix, crying out in pain over simple walking, or starting to have a nasty cough that completely ruined his voice for a couple of days (he also had coughed up blood but didn’t want Seungmin to fuss over him even more), causing him to speak quietly if he spoke at all.

Apparently his brothers were being constantly updated on his health status and Chan was begging his father to move him some place where care could reach him easily. Apparently, it hadn’t been working out well.

Jisung and Hyunjin were always on either side of Felix when Jaehyung couldn’t be, and when Jaehyung was, the others had just decided that it was probably best for Felix to be carried (which he definitely _didn’t_ like, but when it’s one voice against four others, no one tends to listen to what you do and don’t like.

“This is getting ridiculous.” Felix said when he was being carried to the front door and there was a wheelchair for him. “Jisung, I don’t need a- ah!” He cried out in pain as his leg knocked against the wall, Jaehyung profusely apologizing while Jisung raised an eyebrow.

“I think, brother dear, I’ll be the judge of that. We’re sneaking you to the hospital. The cold went away but it’s the only thing that did.” Jisung said as Felix was guided to the chair and sat in it with a gentle _plop_. Despite the shitty mood, Felix couldn’t help but laugh a little. He felt like that movie about princesses. But like, he’s actually a prince. This is way funnier to him than it probably should be.

His laughing soon became choked coughing which soon became small amounts of blood being coughed into his lap. He slumped into the chair as Hyunjin gasped. Jisung started to roll him outside.

“Yeah, okay. Hospital is a good idea.” He murmured.

“We’re keeping him here until we can get blood work results back.”

Oh dear.

“Is it bad?”

“Is it bad? You should’ve brought him in as soon as he started coughing up blood.”

“We didn’t know, we thought-”

“That’s my fault.” Felix spoke up, voice raspy. “I didn’t want to worry anyone so I didn’t tell them. That’s my fault- sorry.” He coughed a little after he spoke. He was exhausted, again. He was so easily exhausted. Seungmin must’ve noticed the way his arms went slack immediately, holding him up by his back. Felix groaned.

“Yeah, next time you tell your brothers when something is wrong.” The doctor said, sighing as a series of clicks were heard in the room before she typed something into the computer quickly.

“Make yourself at home bub, usually cases with blood coughing up are in the hospital much longer than they want to be.” She said.

“You’ve seemed to lose a lot of weight as well?” She asked, looking up to any one of the people that could confirm that.

“Yes.” Seungmin stepped forward. “Most of his clothes we had to rebuy in smaller sizes and even those are starting to get too big.”

“Wait really? I didn’t know that.” Felix said, clearing his throat slightly.

Seungmin and Hyunjin both nodded. “Jaehyung went to order the replacements and then get them.” Seungmin explained. Felix almost forgot Jaehyung was in the room with how crazy everything had been. Jaehyung nodded in confirmation.

“Hmm...I see. At some point we’ll have him step onto a scale and see how much he lost. Do you have anxieties around food, Felix?” Dr. Kim asked, looking at the boy directly.

“Uh...No. I love food. I eat a lot of snacks outside of mealtimes.” Felix said, confused.

“Hmm...alright. We’ll come in and draw your blood in a few minutes.” She stood up, wheeling the tray that had her computer on it with her to the door. “For now, get comfortable. If you guys need anything like food or drink, there’s a cafeteria on the floor below this one. If anyone else is coming let me know.” She said, everyone nodding until Jisung spoke up. “Our other two brothers might be coming. I’m not sure if they will today yet but they might be.” He said. The doctor nodded. “Alright. Well then, I’ll probably see you again when your brothers get here.” She said, nodding before leaving.

And then, the attention turned on Felix. Jisung and Hyunjin holding hands and looking worried, Seungmin refusing to leave the bedside, elbows resting on the side of the bed as he sighed and looked to Felix. Jaehyung glanced, but quickly looked down. He didn’t want to put more stress on the prince than there already was.

The only thing to do until he knew what was going on was to sleep.

He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the awful feeling in his chest and the pain that spread throughout his body.

Finally, something different.

The woman was in what she soon learned to be her room in the house. It was spacious, certainly, and it had small bits and pieces of items she would have littered around, but mostly, it was not a room she considered hers. A glorified prison. Too pretty to be true.

She felt...off. Was that odd? Getting out of bed she was slightly nauseous. Like she was going to throw up. She felt physically heavier as well. Like...she put on some extra weight. She lazily looked at her arms. They looked normal...this seemed a little too blissful for the nightmare the woman had been trapped in before. What was the catch?

Then she looked down.

No.

No, she needed to get out of here. This couldn’t be happening.

She ran to the bathroom that was connected to the room, completely ignoring the nausea and dizziness that came with the sudden movement.

At first- the reflection barely looked like how she remembered herself. But then she realized it was indeed her.

And she was pregnant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y-yeah.
> 
> its free real estate haha 
> 
> story boutta live up to it's tags


	7. couldn't put the prince back together again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Now run.” He said, tone changing.
> 
> “What?” She was caught off guard.
> 
> “Run before I change my mind.”
> 
> So, she ran.
> 
> And she didn’t look back.
> 
> No matter how much she wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last! Installation! I admit, I was hesitant to publish it bc I felt it unfinished, but maybe if I ever come back to this universe I'll explore Jisung or Changbin's plots more. Or maybe Seungmin's. Who knows. Idk.
> 
> Thank you for reading the whole thing, and for those who were there for the first 22,000 words the first three days and then received sudden radio silence, y'all are troopers. 
> 
> My twt is @danbaihe if you want to tell @ me for killing someone off AGAIN, or maybe just wanna talk.
> 
> As a poc and trans man living in america, to all my other poc and lgbt, please stay safe !! We can only hope for the least worst rn. Take any precautions you have to so that you're all safe over the next few days, okay?

"This is nice." Felix said. He was out looking at the beach side of his home. Sydney. He _was_ home. It was almost like he wasn't in a wheelchair, or too weak to swim.

"I'm glad you like it so much Felix." Chan said, smiling as he helped his little brother down onto the towel, Felix clad in swim shorts and an oversized t-shirt, because really, what was more perfect for the occasion? Jisung was matching with him while Changbin just wore a swim top with the shorts and Chan didn't even bother with a shirt. Shirts are awful on the beach, in his personal opinion, and he'll never understand how his three brothers can wear them like the way they do.

"Of course I'd like it." Felix's smile was as bright as it could be, which, as of right now, wasn't terribly bright, but Felix looked like he genuinely appreciated the effort his brother's had made for him.

"Wow. Australia is so nice. You're so lucky to have grown up here and see this beach all the time- I wish I lived here." Jisung said, sitting next to Felix and curling into the younger's side with ease. "Can you see where you lived from here?" Jisung asked. Felix coughed slightly before glancing to the city behind him. "Yeah- that building. The red and gray one with the big windows. We lived a floor down from the roof. So you could see the whole beach." 

Felix's voice was weak and raspy, but everyone listened to him like he was giving an important speech.

"I bet you liked to see the beach in the mornings when you could, huh?"

A new voice. Felix looked to see Seungmin smiling. With the rest of his friends. Hyunjin, Minho, and even Jeongin, who seemed to immediately gravitate towards Changbin.

"I did. I would sneak out all the time." Felix murmured, smiling as he watched Seungmin sit on the other side of him, kissing his cheek. Hugging him. Felix felt warm.

Kind of like he could take a nap.

"Are you sleepy?" Hyunjin immediately teased, Felix laughing slightly before it sent him into a coughing fit, sighing. "Yeah. I'm always sleepy now, though." He said, sighing.

"It's okay." Changbin murmured. "Take a beach nap. I'm sure the sun feels nice." He said, watching Felix lay down with Seungmin and Jisung at either side, soon falling asleep.

The group was silent as they watched the waves. The people. The families. Children playing. Felix seemed to smile a little, even in his sleep, or at least, he looked peaceful. Changbin shifted slightly as he dissociated, trying to focus on and remember the features of his younger brother's face.

"I think." Jisung spoke out loud, softly, so that he wouldn't wake up Seungmin or Felix, who were both sleeping soundly, hands intertwined.

"Next life, we should just be jellyfish." He said. Changbin stared at him. "So that we all don't have brains like you?" He asked. Jisung didn't even pretend to be offended. "No. I just want to swim through life peacefully. None of...this. None of what's happened. Or what might happen. Jellyfish don't have to worry about anything. They live life simply." Jisung said. Chan shifted so that his attention was on Jisung.

"Is it about Felix? Or about mom?" He asked softly, seeing Jisung's stare at his younger twin. "Both. It's about Nayeon." He said. "I had a triplet I never even met because of da- well, your dad." He murmured. "And now I have a twin who I'm going to lose because of mom. It doesn't seem fair." He said. He didn't realize he was crying until Hyunjin's fingers were expertly wiping away his tears.

"Hey." Hyunjin said softly. "We should enjoy the moments we have left with your brother. Just like we enjoyed the moments we had with him before. And you enjoyed moments with your mom, no doubt. Although, you might've been too little to remember some of them." He murmured, carding his fingers through Jisung's hair.

"I wish I knew what growing up with two other people my age would be like." Jisung murmured, closing his eyes.

"I wish I knew what growing up with two more siblings would've been like." Changbin commented. "I like to think my emo phase would've been a lot shorter with Yongbok in our lives from the start." He said, and Jeongin snorted. "Your emo phase never went away you big baby." He said, then paused. "I really only knew any of you- and Yongbok during the hospital trips. I'm sorry it turned out like this." He said. He glanced to Seungmin and Hyunjin. "I can't imagine watching a really close friend- or a family member pass away. No matter how peaceful it happens. Not with a calm mind anyways." He said.

"Their minds definitely aren't calm, they're just good at hiding it." Minho said, watching Felix sleep. "They've been through a lot, this is probably the most peaceful it gets for any of us." He said, rocking gently to the pace of the waves back and forth with Chan, arms looped around the older's waist.

"We're gonna be separated after this." Changbin said. "I don't want to be separated." There was fear in his voice.

"I'll be in Russia with Hyunjin." Jisung murmured, not taking his eyes off of Felix.

"I'll be with Jeongin." Changbin said, sighing.

"I'll be stuck in the palace eventually. With Minho." Chan murmured. Seungmin seemed to wake up at this point. Everyone noticed, but no one commented. He reached up, touching Felix's face. 

"I want to stay here." He murmured, biting his face into the crook of Felix's neck. He started to cry. He started to sob, wrapped around the other. 

"Oh ...dear…" Minho looked sympathetic, Jisung reaching over to comfort Seungmin, but ultimately deciding against it. He didn't know Seungmin as well as Hyunjin and Felix. Hyunjin didn't move, just watching.

"We should wake Felix up, so that we can head back and he can actually sleep. The sun is starting to set." Changbin eventually said. Chan agreed.

Seungmin seemed to quickly wipe away his tears, sniffing as he did so, before gently tapping Felix's cheeks.

"Bokkie." He said softly. "Wake up. We're heading home." He murmured. Felix didn't respond.

"Yongbok." Seungmin tried again, a little louder. The group, internally, were starting to panic. "Yongbok, wake up. We're gonna go back to the apartment." He said, before glancing up to Chan nervously. Chan bent down and tried to gently push Felix awake, but he didn't respond at all.

"Felix." Jisung said, slowly sitting up. "Felix." He repeated, panic starting to edge in his voice.

The boy was unmoving. Unresponding. Chan carefully placed his hand under his nose, and after a moment of silence, he spoke, voice wavering.

"I don't think he's breathing."

The events blurred together as the group went into a panic.

_"Felix."_

_"Felix!"_

_"Oh god…"_

_"Please no…"_

_"Seungmin…"_

_"No no no no no…"_

“Twins. Brian. I’m going to have twins.” She sounded panicked as she told the man in front of her. Her bodyguard. Her loyal servant. She had been trapped in this place for so long, it was nice to know at least someone was on her side. Even if he loved her. Wanted to leave with her.

“Does he know?” Brian asked.

“No.” She said. “He’s just aware of the one.”

“Then we keep it that way. You can escape with the youngest. We just need him out of the room long enough.”

“It’s too risky Younghyun. I don’t want you to get hurt, or worse…”

“I was hired to get hurt instead of you, your majesty. It’s simply the way of things.” He responded. He was closer to the woman. She seemed stiff, like there was still something wrong.

“Are you still having nightmares?” He questioned, and her lack of answer told him yes, that was indeed the problem. 

“I can’t escape it.” She said, sighing. “I’m exhausted all the time now- I know it. But I can’t get a full night’s rest. It’s starting to get annoying at this point.” She murmured, sighing.

“you won’t escape it until we leave this place, I’m afraid.” Younghyun whispered in the Queen’s ear, wrapping his arms gently around her.

“Is that so?” Sanghee asked, laughing lightly.

“Mm. You’ve already produced an heir, I don’t know why he still pretends like he needs you.” Younghyun whispered. “We can go. With the twins. He doesn’t know they’re not his anyways.” Younghyun said, Sanghee leaning into his touch. Her eyes opened, and she looked sad.

“Oh, how I wish we could.” She murmured, sighing.

“How I wish we could.” She repeated.

Jisung knew he was different from his brothers. He doesn’t mean that in an edgy way or anything he’s just...literally different from his brothers. He knows that, for one, he was born right when his mom made her escape. That he wasn’t supposed to be left behind. He knows that his father can’t unsee that event everytime he looks at him, and even though Jisung is just as polite and obedient as his brothers, if not moreso, he’s still the black sheep.

He’s just better at hiding it.

He’s plenty sociable, and he’s a good public figure. People liked him.

He had some friends, although not a lot, and his brothers appreciated him as much as the next person.

Hyunjin, who he was engaged to and hoped to be one day married, stood by his side like a saint. you’d think nothing would be wrong.

Except things were wrong.

_Very wrong._

Jisung isn’t sure how he missed it. He wasn’t sure how, honest to god.

Hyunjin came barging into his room with a notebook and some photos, looking frantic. Jisung could barely piece together a sentence by Hyunjin, who had thrown the items onto the bed rather urgently. He told jIsung to look at the pictures, and so, he did.

He saw the same pictures Hyunjin did. Of his mother looking furious, his mother smoking, his mother in the snow.

Then he opened up the notebook, and flipped through a few pages.

“What...Hyunjin? Who is this?” He asked, as he took a group of new photos out of the book. One of a man holding two babies, looking happy. He looked...really similar to jisung actually. It was weird. He set it on the bed, and picked up the next photo. The same man was in a suit. The one all bodyguards wore, required by work dress code. He was standing in the same, still, yet imitating position Jisung had seen some of the staff stand in back at the palace. Except, he was looking at the camera, and grinning. He looked happy. LIke he was happy.

“Who is this…?” Jisung asked, flipping to the next photo. He’s sleeping in a bed. The bed in Felix’s room. Jisung recognizes the sheets. Their mom had that room before Felix did. He’s sound asleep in the photo, and definitely not wearing a shirt under the sheets, which Jisung scrunched his nose once he realized. Disgusting mom, really?

“Keep looking. Then read the entry.” Hyunjin whispered.

“Okay.” JIsung said, looking through the rest of the pictures.

One of Sanghee in the snow again, but she’s kissing the man. Her hair is covering their faces, but jIsung already knows from the other potos what he looks like. Who is he?

The last photo is a selfie, and Jisung thinks of it as maybe the only photo where he’s ever seen his mom genuinely smile.

She’s leaning against the man, who has his arms wrapped around her. It’s windy, wherever they are, but they’re outside and both smiling brightly. Jisung squints. Then he gasps. “Wait.”

He digs out his phone and scrolls through his camera roll. He has a selfie of him and Felix somewhere. From a wedding.

Changbin’s wedding. On the way there, in the car. Felix and Jisung were squished together in the photo, Felix bright eyed, smiling blindly at the camera where Jisung smiled simply, peace sign held up. He was too lazy to fully smile.

He compared the two photos.

It was chilling, how similar they looked next to each other. Jisung almost had the exact same face shape as the man in the photos, and everyone already knew how much Felix looked and acted like his mom.

What the fuck?

“I’m not sure I want to read it.” Jisung whispered.

“You have to sungie. Please.” Hyunjin whispered, trying to comfort Jisung by gently massaging his back. Surprise, Surprise. It wasn’t really working.

“I…” Jisung swallowed down the anxiety that was welling up in his throat, quickly turning to the entry.

_It’s weird sometimes, to think about how I’m pregnant again. Everything feels so much worse, and I have already been pregnant twice. It’s never been this bad before. I went from assuming I was simply giving birth to a hyperactive child- who’d be the youngest. His brothers need someone more uplifting. Changbin simply stares at anyone who tries to uplift his mood- I wonder if he’s developing normally for a child? Its hard to get him to play. He watches others and tries to mimic them. He tried to mimic Younghyun standing against the wall, and fell over. He laughed though, and so did Younghyun, so I don’t think that he’s behind or anything._

Changbin being awkward even as a child. Sounds about right.

_Triplets, though? Not very many people have them. The king cannot find out. Finding out I’m pregnant is inevitable, but I won’t subject two more of my children to his poor judgement- and poor parenting. He was so nice before. Almost obsessed. I don’t get what happened. He went from sweet man to lunatic in a matter of minutes._

_I’ve been thinking of names. I was thinking maybe Jimin at first- since it’s applicable to both a boy and girl. but now I’m having triplets, I have to think triple the amount of names. Younghyun really wants one to be named Yongbok, and who am I to say no? He’s their father, and anyways, Yongbok is the only good name he came up with from the list. He almost suggested Younghyun jr… the absolute lunatic. For a boy, assuming we have boys again (it seems to be my luck to only have sons so far? A daughter would be nice. If one of them turns out to be a girl, I’d name her Mina...or maybe another simple name that works. I want it to be easy to pronounce, so that she can go far internationally in the future. For a boy name...well...all I have so far is jIsung. I was thinking maybe I could keep the ‘Cha’ trend...Chan, Changbin, ...Chanhee? No, it’s too similar. I think for now I’ll just hope one of the triplets is a girl. Chaeyoung is a nice name. So is Nayeon- I think that’ll be it. Jisung, Nayeon, and Yongbok._

“...But I don’t have a sister.” Jisung said, confused.

“Turn the page.” Hyunjin said.

He did. The pages were empty except for four sentences.

_The kIng visited today for the first time in almost six months. He found out. I got hit again. One of them didn’t survive._

“Oh.” Jisung whispered, numbly turning the page.

_I want to leave with younghyun so badly. He’s given everything up for me. I’m ready to give up everything for him. These headaches are killing me. We’re leaving on a boat next week. We’ll sneak out, sail to Japan, then take a plane to Australia. I’ll never write in this book again._

“There’s one last entry.” 

“I don’t want to read it.”

“Jisung please.”

Jisung flipped the page. The handwriting was scratchy. Panicked. LIke she was writing right before she left. it was scrawled messily so much so that her letters were bigger than normal, and it was barely readable.

_FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK HE SHOT YOUNGHYUN IM_

_WHAT THE FUCK_

_HE’LL ONLY LET ME GO IF I LEAVE JISUNG BEHIND HE FOUND OUT ABOUT JISUNG_

_I DON’T WANT TO SEPARATE THE TWINS._

Jisung looked at the necklace that was between the pages. It had a ring on the end of it. Like a promise ring. Expensive, but not like whoever brought it was rich. His dad’s. He pocketed it and looked back at the notebook. The pages were warped, as if they had been near water. But Jisung knew there was no such liquid in the attic. She must’ve been crying.

“So I was supposed to grow up with Yongbok and mom in Australia.” Jisung said. He was still processing the notebook as he stared numbly at it.

“I didn’t know what to do-”

“The king isn’t even my real dad.” Jisng said.

“I came to you first I didn’t-”

“He knew. He knew I wasn’t his real son.” Jisung was hurt. “And he demanded to keep me here anyways. And killed off my father.” The words suddenly sunk in. The king killed his father.

Chan and Changbin were his half brothers.

What the fuck.

What the fu-

“How many more of these tests do I have to do?” Felix whined as his blood was drawn.

“Not many more. I'll just update your brothers on what we have so far. You're a trooper, Yongbok. Do you want anything? Food? Water?" The doctor asked.

“Some water would be nice.” Yongbok said, looking at the woman. “Thank you Dr. Kim.” He murmured.

“Of course, Yongbok. I’ll get a cup for you right away.” Dr. Kim smiled before walking out of the room, Felix sighing as he laid back on the bed. After a few minutes there was a small knock on the door. Feilix cleared his throat awkwardly, motioning at Jaehyung to let whoever it was in. The bodyguard listened, opening the door.

“Hi.” Seungmin greeted softly.

“Hey.” Felix greeted back. His voice was raspy, but that wasn’t new. It had been for awhile now. His coughing had only gotten worse.

“How are you feeling?” Seungmin asked.

“Like I want to go home.”

“Back to the cabin??”

“Back to Australia.”

“Oh.” 

A silence fell between them. Felix sighed. “but yeah, maybe going back there by itself would improve my mood.” He said, groaning.

“Do you need anything?” Seungmin asked, hovering over Felix in a matter of seconds, arms out in case he needed to grab something while Felix started to cough.

“Yeah, for you to back up a bit.” Felix half-joked, Seungmin immediately backing up. “Sorry.” He mumbled. Felix laughed. “It’s okay. Really.”

“Have the doctors said anything yet?” Felix asked, sitting up slowly. He glared at Seungmin who instinctively went back to hovering around Felix just in case.

“If they have, your brothers aren’t saying anything.” Seungmin said with a sigh.

“Damn. Why can’t they just tell me?” Felix rasped out. “It’s _my_ condition, whatever it is.” He murmured.

“Because your brothers don’t want you to choose to not get treatment if it’s an option- which- i’m sure it is…” Seungmin added hastily. “Mmm…” Felix hummed. “It’s just coughing and pain. I doubt it’ll be bad, whatever it is.”

“Yeah…” Seungmin looked down at his bag before intertwining his fingers with Felix’s. Felix was surprised by the action, because, out of the two of them, he was the one who initiated the most contact. He wasn’t complaining, though. He planted a kiss on Seungmin’s cheek.

“We’re not sure how it went undetected for so long but it’s possible the cold he had triggered the symptoms to act faster- and because he’s showing signs of stress…” Dr. Kim trailed off.

“Mr. Bang. Mr. Bang.” She bowed her head to both of the brothers. This only made them more concerned. Chan looked to Changbin, Changbin frowning. “What?” Changbin asked. “What is it?”

Dr. Kim looked like she didn’t want to say it, and understandably so.

“...I’m sorry. but we’re looking at anywhere from two months to three left at most. Mr. Bang Yongbok doesn’t have much longer left to live.”

“Hey dummy.” Seungmin said, poking Felix’s side softly. Felix squealed slightly, but smiled. “What?” He asked, turning so that he could see Seungmin.

“I uh...I got you something small. Simple.” Seungmin said.

“Oh yeah?” Felix asked.

Seungmin pulled out a little cloth. There was something small in it. Felix unwrapped it to see a small silver ring. He smiled gently. “What is it for?” He asked, trying on the ring. It fit on his middle finger perfectly.

“Well...marriage definitely isn’t an option for us- and besides, we’re too young for some shit like that. I’m going abroad soon again...so I figured maybe we could have something to remember each other by.” He said, looking at the ground nervously. 

Felix’s mother’s words ran through his head. Marriage was awful. Useless attachments shouldn’t be made.

Then he remembers Changbin’s words. She’s dead. Felix wasn’t.

He smiled, taking Seungmin’s hand where he was already wearing his own ring, and kissed it gently. “I love it.” He whispered. “Thank you.”

Seungmin smiled gently and kissed him back.

A scream. A scream followed by cries. Then whispers of praise, shushing the woman.

“It hurts! It hurts!” She cried from the bathtub.

“Sanghee, look at me. Look at me.” Younghyun had Sanghee’s hand clasped in his own, Kissing her forehead and wiping away the sweat where he could- it was a bit awkward to do so while she was in the bathtub. “You’re doing great, baby. you’re doing great.” He whispered, moving the Queen’s hair out of her face as she screamed again, it quickly turned into cries.

“We’re almost done, your majesty. Just a few more pushes then he’ll be out.” The maid at the other end of the bathtub said. It was raining outside, in the middle of the night. Sanghee found that the rain was the only thing she could focus on to ground herself when she wasn’t screaming from pain. She could barely feel her legs anymore. Then she heard cries that weren’t her own.

“you did it your majesty.” The other woman said, Sanghee falling back in the tub in relief. “Oh thank fuck.” She murmured, Younghyun chuckling as he tended to her the best he could. The maid seemed to be cleaning the crying babies before she brought them over, both swaddled in cloths. both a white color that would surely be stained and seemed odd to have for babies, but was not questioned by either new parent.

“Let me hold one.” Sanghee murmured, Younghyun carefully lowering one of her sons into her arms while he held the other. He smiled. “Hi there.” He cooed, giggling slightly at the baby who seemed to be calming down from their cries. Sanghee barely looked her son in the face, just holding him close.

“You’re okay.” She murmured to the baby. “Welcome to the world Kang Yongbok.” She said.

“C’mon- it’s like you’re trying to get me killed, having them take my last name.” Younghyun whined gently. He looked down to Jisung in his arms. “Besides. Doesn’t Lee Yongbok and Lee Jisung sound better?” He asked.

Sanghee laughed tiredly. “It won’t matter when we’re in Australia, baby. They can be Kangs’ and no one will ever know. I...will change my name to Kang too.” She said, smiling.

Younghyun stared at her, laughing slightly nervously. “Kang Sanghee. A pretty name, if you ask me.”

“Kang Hayoon. Kang Younghyun. Kang Jisung. Kang Nayeon. Kang Yongbok.” She whispered, squeezing his hand. Younghyun looked sad for a moment, at the mention of the child that didn’t survive with her brothers. He squeezed Sanghee’s hand back.

“We’re almost out of here.” He whispered.

“Almost.” Sanghee whispered back.

“A trip to Australia? So suddenly? Why?” Both the twins sounded confused as Chan and Changbin presented the idea to the group.

“Well, we were thinking. Australia was Felix’s home. No wonder he’s been so stressed. It was ripped from him, and he was forced to adjust to a pretty awful life, so, we were thinking it might rid him of some of the stress, if he could visit.” Chan said, looking nervous.

“Oh.” Jisung blinked. “Okay. I’m down.” He said, before turning to Felix. “Lixie?” He asked.

“Yeah. Sure.” Felix murmured.

Chan smiled, and Changbin nodded. “It’s settled then- uh, Jisung, would you like to join us for dinner tonight? We were going to eat nearby before we headed home…” Chan said, scratching his head awkwardly.

“Actually...I had something I wanted to talk about to lix in private, if that’s okay?” Jisung asked. The older brothers seemed caught off guard, but left.

Jisung turned back to Felix, who looked confused.

“Jisung what’s-”

“We’re triplets.” Jisung said, not giving Felix time to question what he was doing.

“What?” Felix asked after a moment of silence. Nervously, and with shaking hands, Jisung brought out the notebook.

“The stress thing is bullshit lix. They don’t want to tell you you’re dying.” Jisung didn’t make eye contact with Felix.

“...Oh.” Felix murmured.

“Yeah.”

“What’s the notebook?”

“It was moms.”

“Why are we going now?”

“It’s Bang tradition to treat someone who’s sick or ill in the family well until they pass. Like a farewell party, but sometimes it lasts months.” Jisung said.

“...oh.” Felix responded.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you telling me?” Felix asked.

“Because you deserve to know how you’re going to spend the rest of your life.”

“...”

“...”

“...you said we’re triplets?” Felix slowly asked. Jsung pushed the notebook towards him.

“I think you should read it privately.”

“Okay. Can you wait though? I might want to talk after.”

“...okay. I’ll wait outside.” Jisung said, awkwardly making his way to the door and pointing to the benches. Felix nodded. Once Jisung left, Felix flipped the book open, his mind starting to process what the other told him.

Jisung’s anxiety was starting to build as he waited outside for what felt like forever, but was really only a few minutes. He almost didn’t hear his brother’s small, panicked voice calling his name, but once he realized what it was, he was inside the room again within seconds. Felix looked to him, wide eyed, tears falling down his cheeks.

“Oh...Oh bokkie…” Jisung whispered, feeling tears start to form in his own eyes, rushing to his brother.

Felix started to sob, and then cough, and Jisung wrapped his arms as tight as he could around the other. 

“I don’t...I don’t-”

“Shhh….It’s okay.” Jisung murmured, rubbing circles into his brother’s back.

“We could’ve-”

“I know. I know.”

Jisung let Felix sob in his arms until he had most of it out of his system. Jisung curled up with his twin that night, too scared if he let him go, something else might happen.

“Younghyun!” Sanghee screamed in horror, watching the love of her life fall to the floor. The baby in her hands was crying loudly. She would be too, if she just watched her father get shot.

“Sanghee...this has gotten too out of hand. Come back to the cabin.” King Bang said, sighing as he checked his watch.

“NO!” She screamed. “I already gave you heir!” She yelled. “What else do you want from me?” She cried out.

The King looked unimpressed. “The bare minimum of what’s expected of a queen.” He commented. “And then you cheated on me.”

“You cheated on me first! I never so much as looked towards the man I actually loved while you brought women to your bedroom. You have no room to speak!” She spat. Hopefully the maid was far, _far_ away with Yongbok by now.

“I’ll let you go if you give me Jisung.” He said, watching Sanghee closely. She instinctively held onto her child tighter, Jisung crying out loud.

“Fuck you.” She spat.

“Funny how one can read another’s words so creatively, but lack the imagination to be creative with their own.” The king said, sighing. “It’ll suck, to have to put a bullet through my own wife’s head.” He murmured.

She froze. She couldn’t die. Yongbok was still alive and- 

They already lost their father.

Yongbok couldn’t grow up without a mother, too.

She hesitated, looking to Jisung.

“I’m so sorry sunshine.” She whispered, kissing his forehead. She looked to the king.

“You won’t chase after me?”

“Only if you come when I call.” The King said with a smirk. Sanghee hated it. hated how he treated her like a dog.

“Fine.” She murmured, unable to look as she handed her son over to her husband.

“Now run.” He said, tone changing.

“What?” She was caught off guard.

“Run before I change my mind.”

So, she ran.

And she didn’t look back.

No matter how much she wanted to.

_"Felix."_

_"Felix!"_

_"Oh god…"_

_"Please no…"_

_"Seungmin…"_

_"No no no no no…"_

"This is nice." Felix said. He was out looking at the beach side of his home. Sydney. He _was_ home. It was almost like he wasn't in a wheelchair, or too weak to swim.

"I'm glad you like it so much Felix." Chan said, smiling as he helped his little brother down onto the towel.

His brothers cared about him so much.

"Of course I'd like it." Felix felt weak, despite the smile he gave. He was weak. He wondered what life would be like, with his sister and brother. In an apartment in Sydney, getting picked up from school by their dad.

"Wow. Australia is so nice. You're so lucky to have grown up here and see this beach all the time- I wish I lived here." Jisung said, sitting next to Felix and curling into the younger's side with ease.

 _’You almost did live here. With me. With our dad.’_ Felix thought.

“Can you see where you lived from here?" Jisung asked.

He could. He pointed it out to Jisung. His brain felt like it was slowing down a little, just slightly. 

"I bet you liked to see the beach in the mornings when you could, huh?"

A new voice. Felix looked to see Seungmin smiling. He’d miss Seungmin.

"I did. I would sneak out all the time." Felix murmured. He tried hard to remember all the details on Seungmin’s face.

He was tired.

"Are you sleepy?" 

Yes.

"Yeah. I'm always sleepy now, though."

He didn’t want to go to sleep. He wasn’t okay he was-

"It's okay." Changbin said.

It’s okay.

“Take a beach nap. I'm sure the sun feels nice."

Okay. A beach nap.

Jisung and Seungmin provided good pillows as Felix got comfortable, letting his mind drift off.

When the woman woke up, she was in a car. It was driving down a long road, and she had been looking out the window. Out at a large field of dead grass. The sun was shining. It was nice, wherever she was. She noticed faintly there was music playing from the radio. She turned around to see a man humming to the radio as he steered, driving the car down the road with practiced ease.

“I see you’ve finally woken up.” He murmured, chuckling slightly.

“Where…?” She was disoriented.

“Mom!” A voice called from the back of the car. The woman turned to see what looked like children who couldn’t be older than six- two boys on either side of a girl, all clad in different shirts and shorts, but seemingly dressed for the heat.

“Huh?” The woman responded, blinking.

“Mom, can you please pass back the water? I’m thirsty.” The boy with freckles complained.

“You’re always thirsty. We had to stop so you could pee a lot!” The other little boy said, groaning.

“Jisungieeee go back to playing the game- I almost won this time!!” The girl whined, pushing what looked like the man’s phone into the little boy’s lap. He was soon distracted, and the woman wordlessly passed back the water. “Thank you mom.” The first boy said politely, taking sips out of the bottle.

The woman turned back in her seat.

“Sanghee, are you okay?” Younghyun asked, glancing at her slightly before focusing back on the road.

“I’m fine.” She said, head pounding. “Where are we going?”

“Right now?” Younghyun asked, looking in the rearview mirror. “Home.” he murmured.

The image of her red dress in the middle of the snow passed through her mind.

“Okay.” She said, leaning in and kissing Younghyun’s cheek, the other laughing.

This wasn’t Australia…

...but it was the end of her story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not @ me getting sick as I'm writing the last two chapters of this lmao.
> 
> The ending is up for interpretation. :]
> 
> I hope you liked it!

**Author's Note:**

> I need to update my other docs instead of making new ones lol


End file.
